Selfish Husband- is his behaviour normal??

frugallass

maggirl

you need to look at your options....

1. Try to save the marriage/family
2. Move on and enjoy your little girl without him
3. Separation for a temporary period

....there's probably others but they're the ones that spring to mind

putting his selfishness aside, do you love him? are you willing to give him another chance or has he burned all his bridges? do you think he will open up to you if you can get a sitter for the night so you two can talk without interruptions?

maggirl

Thanks everyone, especially the blokes who have replied. Its nice to know there are some decent ones out there who DO care about their families!

I dont think it is about meeting my standards (my standards arent that high!) its purely that he can't be bothered, and I am worried about him helping out in situations like this, and you are right when someone pointed out, what would he do if there was a genuine emergency?

I think he IS one of these people who is difficult to rouse once asleep, but even still, in a situation like last night he should have helped me.

Thanks!

maggirl

By the way, he genuinely does not think that he has done ANYTHING wrong at all, he is just continuing as normal, he thinks that it is just me going on and on about it, and can't even be bothered discussing it. He just doesnt even think it is an issue.

melancholly

could he be depressed?! i don't know, but it just sounds so completely uncaring that i'd like to hope he was unwell, rather than just a complete idiot about it all. was the pregnancy planned? could this all be resentment over him not wanting a child? i can't think of any other reasons why someone could be this uninterested in his own child, or in helping out his partner.

EDIT - had to replace a word that was pulled up by the swearing filter (wasn't that bad, honest :$)

BillScarab

Is he the sole breadwinner? Does he feel that it is your job as his job is providing for the family financially?

budget_budd

My OH can be a bit slack in taking responsibility (especially during the night) but if I told him I needed help, he would help. Apparently a lot of men need to be told what they can do to help but as you have tried that it really does seem he is not bothered.
Don't blame yourself he is an adult and responsible for his own actions.

completelyspent

I think if you have asked for help, you should be entitled to it. I don't know what your work situation is..i.e. if he is working very long hours and needs plenty of sleep but even so, not really any excuses..especially when you were on holiday-that should be a holiday for both of you.

CB1979_2

seeriously i ask again, do most of you MSE'rs go to the bargain bucket in "!!!!!! partners r us".

he sounds like he needs a good kicking

am assuming this is nothing new, so why stay with him and why have a kid with him??

DdraigGoch

CB1979 - a quick note. Firstly, there are some [a lot] of very good partners on and referred to on MSE, secondly, this isn't exactly going to very nice for anyone who is having problems to read, is it?

Remember, be nice to all moneysavers .....

daphne_descends

So why do you put up with this behaviour?

You are sending a message to your little girl - that this is okay in a marriage.