Selfish Husband- is his behaviour normal??

miserly_mum

Even though my ex hubby was a complete waste of space most of the time he always mucked in if one of the kids was sick during the night (without being asked).

What appalls me most about your hubby Maggirl is his complete lack of compassion for your sick child. If I was you i'd be wondering what would happen if god forbid either you or your little girl ever had a serious illness.

Debt_Free_Chick

Have you spoken to him about this? How you feel?

G-G_4

Oh my god! That's appaling.. I would not be happy if my OH treated me and any future children like that.. :mad: disgusting behaviour..

Even if he didn't like the poop and mess, he could have got up and made you a cuppa or at least ran a bath / shower to get your little one into if she was dirty..

What would happen is she had to go hospital one day? Would he just sit in bed and leave you to it?

Was he like this before you had children?

My OH sleeps like the dead and gets in a right strop if you wake him.. :rolleyes: but once he knows it's important he will get up and be supportive (such as all the times i've had to go hospital with gall stone pain)..

Older_but_not_wiser_2

From a husbands perspective, If I'd done that even once, I'd have been out on my ear - and my wife's quite a reasonable person.

He sounds like a waste of space, and I'm embarrased for the entire male race that he has acted like that.

Do the sensible thing and get rid.

maggirl

He is her father, he just can't be bothered with any of the "hard work" stuff. I always view her as "mine" as I think she is. I never feel he deservs her, when he treats her and me like this. He is happy to take her love (and she does love him) and affection but gives very little back to her, or to me. He has no compassion. I think he actualy has a mental problem, although I have no experience of anyone with mental problems so would not be able to compare (no offence intended to anyone here who suffers from a mental illness) I genuinely think his cold hearted and selfish nature, and his ability to blank out everything is just beyond belief.

I have put up with this (and a whole heap of other stuff) for too long.

I have been posting here under another name and didnt dare post this under my usual name as people would not have believed that this little incident was added to all the other crap stuff he has put me through. It would make it seem like I was making it all up!

Im not wanting sympathy, I dont deserve sympathy because it IS my fault for putting up with it for so long. But no longer!!!!!!

Js_Other_Half

Don't let him convince you that you are hysterical. I know some men are better than others about the practical side of things, but even so, he should be supporting you in this.

When DS wasn't sleeping through the night, DH would get up on a Friday and Saturday night with him - and I'd sleep in the spare room . I don't think this should be out of the ordinary?

However the other thing I wonder is, if he struggles with social conventions, would he come under the autistic spectrum? http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=126

G-G_4

It's certainly not your fault.. how were you to know someone could actually be that cold hearted..

Don't blame yourself xx

alwaysonthego_2

You sound like a great mum, don't let your husband drag you down xx

jinky67

I am not defending him in any way but...is it possible that he feels pushed out?
Maybe he thinks that he wont be able to do stuff to your standards so therefore doesnt even try?

whitewing

He sounds like my DS' father. He never got up in the night. (Sometimes but not always he genuinely slept thro the commotion).

He also refused ever to take DS to nursery or pick him up. We lived in an attic flat and he even refused to come downstairs when we got home, and help carry the baby and pushchair up. It was like having another child, but one who refused to grow up.

I was much happier when we got shot of him. Even though it upset me greatly to take his baby away. He hasn't seen him now for over 2 years.