Daughter getting bullied

veryskint_3

carlos700 wrote: »

I really feel for you i see what you mean about because the child is not getting hit then they dont see it as bullying im on your side i completly disagree with these people bullying comes in many forms including being bullied mentally .I am afraid i had to change my daughter schools as her school too unless she is being physicaly hit they are not classing it as bullying which makes my blood boil too .I am hoping that the education board sees it from my point of you ,theres no way i am letting the school & these bullies get away with it .

Thankyou for your support its about time bullies got punished, how is keeping them in at playtimes doing that. In my eldests school they have an on call system and if someone is bullying/disrupting class they get taken out of class to go into "referal" for the whole or part of a day. This sorts most kids out.If you look on the bullying uk website it states "bullying includes:- calling names,making things up to get you into trouble,taking things/friends away from you,spreading rumours,threats an intimidation etc." and on stop bullyig now it states "bullying is like spousal harassment as it is done by someone with more power or social support to someone with less power" and as we all know spousal abuse not only includes physical but mental abuse too. So why should that be different with kids, in fact its worse with kids sometimes as knowing how to psycholgically bully someone at such a young age is disgusting.

carlos700

Hi veryskint somebody suggested the website www.bullying .uk on this website click onto parents at the top then there are a list of options click onto the one which says contacting governors & LEA there are template letters and it explains who to write to with complaints .

I have seen the head with no joy many times so i have wrote one letter of complaint about the school and i am sending one to the governors & one to the education board .As this websites advices i am asking for a report of each and every complaint which i have made to the school about my daughter being bullied and also an explanation of what they did to resolve it .
I suspect the school has made no reports but i may be wrong it will be interesting to see .I have started the letter saying i wish to make a formal complaint against (then named the school)
If i dont get a satisfactary responce i will keep going and send the same letter to LEA and Ofstead .
Goodluck i just want to encourage you to keep going i was told by my parents which i thought was good advice if you feel like giving up think of your daughter when shes up all night crying and it seems to give me the strenghth to take this all the way .I have removed my daughter from the school so im doing this so no other mum has to go through what i have with there daughter /son.

ScENeYmE

I used to be bullied (in primary and secondary school)
In primary school it was on and off constantly all the way through school and it was exactly the kind of 'mental' bullying you describe. My parents took me out of primary school and put me in a new school which I loved. At secondary school it started in the 2nd year and got really bad. I came home every night crying because something else had happened. In the end my parents took me out of school and home schooled me, which was the best thing they could have done. I loved it. I know that it might not be the situation for yourself, but I just want you to know there are options out there if it doesn't get sorted.
Both my schools never did anything about it and always said I gave as good as I got, even though the bullies had managed to turn everyone in my year against me. They had a bullying scheme, run by older children in the school, but that never helped either.

I do hope your daughter does enjoy karate as it will give her a lot more confidence and I hope it all works out. I wish you the best of luck.

shays_mum

Very skint, i have just come across this today, how are things going with you now?, i am having exactly the same problem at the mo, my dd is 6 & same situation with a 'friend' she has known since birth
I had a meeting with the head & all they were worried about was how i addressed a teacher (i was angry!) when i wanted to discuss the problem. Apparantly, they have been covertly keeping an eye on the sitauation & surprise surprise its my daughter who 'excludes' herself from playing with the bully, so i should not be surprised if noone is playing with my dd ( sorry if it makes no sense, i am shaking as i am writing this). I am livid at the school & my so called friend for allowing this to go on, i think i will look into the kupso thing, does anyone have any links for any in London, can't find anything.
I really hope things are getting somewhat better for you, you can always go straight to the local council who take this issue really seriously. Big hugs to you x

jenhug

phone your local council, ask to speak to an educational welfare officer. Tell them you are at the point of removing your child from school, they will get invovled, they are there to help.

trace_567

Sorry I haven't read all the replies. I was bullied for years and years through out my school life. Mostly mental bullying, but some physical. I'm now 31. My mum tried to sort the issue with the schools countless times but if anything it got worse and worse.

I'd really sit your daughter down, have a good chat to her to find out every single thing thats going on at school. Then if you can't sort it out, ask her personally if she would like to go to a different school. This way she becomes in control of that decision. This child that is bullying her is taking away her confidence and no doubt making her feel powerless.

I'm so glad that you are aware of the bullying and trying so hard with your daughter to sort it out, so she knows she is not alone.

I really hope you can find a solution, because bullying can so damage a person for years.

veryskint_3

Hi everyone just thought i would update on whats been happening. My daughter moved up a class in sept and WOW what a difference. The teacher was made aware of what was happening (by me beforehand) and has sorted it out from september. My daughter does not get bullied as the teacher keeps a close eye on the bully and keeps her well away from my daughter and she does not stand for any s**t either. As a result of this my daughter met all her end of year targets they gave her in all subjects in.......get ready..... October:T !!!!!her reading has come on by 9 months so im well chuffed as she is a lot happier and settled:j . So OBVIOUSLY all this bullying her was scareing her so much it was holding her back. If anyone elses child gets bullied keep onto school/councillers/governers and education or anyone else eg local papers as its disgusting that most schools act as though they have an anti bullying policy when in fact its a load of bulls**t and they sweep it under the carpet. Big hugs for anyone going what we went through it was hell.

skintstudentnurse

Just read this thread, so glad things have improved for your daughter :T

aliasojo

Glad things are better for your girl now veryskint. She must be a lot happier and you must be very relieved.

Pleased for you. Thanks for updating.

bathgatebuyer

Sounds like great progress has been made - bullies really are the lowest of the low and they can damage people for many years. I was bullied in secondary school and the 4 years of being called names daily only ended when my temper really snapped one day and I thumped the bully in the middle of a biology class. She ended up with a perforated eardrum and I ended up with years of counselling to deal with anxiety and depression.

Years later I actually bumped into the girl at a railway station and she was as nice as anything to me. I didn't know whether to be angry, scared, embarrassed or ashamed. Regardless, nothing good can ever come from bullying.