Daughter getting bullied

shellsuit

veryskint wrote: »

i understand wher your coming from but when the other girl is telling people not to be her friend and making kids take sides who are scared of her then its very difficult.

Haven't they given the bully a warning? ie, if you don't stay away from X, then you will have to stay in at playtimes??

Surely the teachers could see at playtimes if the bully was near your daughter?

Doom_and_Gloom

Ignoring never worked for me and I got bullied from just before the first year in primary school to just before the end of year 10 when my parents pulled me out of school. I got physically and mentally bullied all the way through school life. I wouldn’t put much trust in a school saying they will sort something out to be honest. Changing schools may be the only way for her but that is always the last plan of action as it may disrupt her and cause her to be even more withdrawn etc. I would be tempted to ask her if she would like to stay at that school or move to another as it doesn’t look like it’s going to get better. Unfortunately I’ve found these bullies never change.
Hope you all the best with this matter as it can cause a lot of damage to the individual. It’s been 4 years since I was last bullied but it still has effects on everyday life. Please do not let this happen to your child. It is not much of a life when you know so much of it has been lost to people with no respect for anyone else.

veryskint_3

Doom_and_Gloom wrote: »

Ignoring never worked for me and I got bullied from just before the first year in primary school to just before the end of year 10 when my parents pulled me out of school. I got physically and mentally bullied all the way through school life. I wouldn’t put much trust in a school saying they will sort something out to be honest. Changing schools may be the only way for her but that is always the last plan of action as it may disrupt her and cause her to be even more withdrawn etc. I would be tempted to ask her if she would like to stay at that school or move to another as it doesn’t look like it’s going to get better. Unfortunately I’ve found these bullies never change.
Hope you all the best with this matter as it can cause a lot of damage to the individual. It’s been 4 years since I was last bullied but it still has effects on everyday life. Please do not let this happen to your child. It is not much of a life when you know so much of it has been lost to people with no respect for anyone else.

Thankyou so much for your reply and for speaking out. It must have been terrible for you too and i hope you regain your confidence and strength to overcome anything life throws at you. I know its hard but as from past experiences you must learn to turn negative situations into positive ones. Keep battling on. Im sending big hugs ()

veryskint_3

shellsuit wrote: »

Haven't they given the bully a warning? ie, if you don't stay away from X, then you will have to stay in at playtimes??

Surely the teachers could see at playtimes if the bully was near your daughter?

Yes they have but never follow it through. And as i said before although the other girl is only 9 she is very clever and crafty.

Dill

Sounds like a nightmare family! But even if the girl's mother is unwilling to do anything about her kids' behaviour(for whatever reason?!), it's very frustrating that the school are being a bit defeatist about it too.
The child has learned this behaviour from somewhere, and however manipulative and clever she is, they really shouldn't let a nine-year-old run rings around them!

Mojisola

You're doing the right thing in keeping up the pressure on the school. Despite all of them having a document on how they handle bullying, most schools are very bad at dealing with it and it sounds as if this little bully is very manipulative.

Doom_and_Gloom

veryskint wrote: »

Thankyou so much for your reply and for speaking out. It must have been terrible for you too and i hope you regain your confidence and strength to overcome anything life throws at you. I know its hard but as from past experiences you must learn to turn negative situations into positive ones. Keep battling on. Im sending big hugs ()

Thank you so much for your kind words .
By the way if you aren't already I would keep a diary of all the incidences of bullying this girl is doing towards your child. It may make the board listen more if there is a record of all of it but as I said I wouldn’t trust them to do anything. You never know though it might make their ears stick up and listen. If you do the diary and they do nothing if you can write to the local paper about their stance on bullying. Might make you feel better if nothing else :rotfl: .

ailuro2

as I said on the other thread about the boy of 6 who was being bullied, my DD goes to martial arts classes, her instructor tells them all to use the three Ps if they are being bullied - Parents, (news)Papers, Police.

Your little girl's childhood is being stolen away because of another parent failing to take control of their child, that must be heartbreaking for you, I'd get together with a few other parents and complain about the situation as a group to see if it helps any.


My nine year old DD's martial art is 'Kupso' which is very self defence based, but uses pressure points and locks to inflict pain to any attacker and control their ability to hit you.It gives you great confidence to stand up to people too. (I do it too now, and I feel I am a lot more confident in situations where I would have felt threatened before)

Some of Kupso is Tae Kwon Do based, which I know is more widespread in class availability than Kupso.
Pressure points are great little things for inflicting severe pain without appearing to have done anything - there's no punching involved - so hard to see! play the bully at her own game!.
Locks can swiftly turn a person round to face the ground but can be very simple to apply, and a verbal warning that next time she'll rip her whole arm off if she doesn't leave her alone might be what is needed to give her peace.Of course I'm not suggesting she do that, but sometimes your DD will have to use some acting skills to get the message home.

Dick_here

I think you need to tell your daughter to tell the nearest available teacher immediately every time something happens, it will be mentioned in the Staff Room and the other girl will become known to all the teachers. They are more likely to act based upon the child's upset at the time than comments from parents well after the event.

lucyhope

My dd was bullied in Infant School by a little thug who the mums at the gate all moaned about but no-one ever did or said anything to staff. Eventually I had had enough, kept a diary of incidents, wrote to the Head teacher, the governors, the diocesan education office (it was a Church school) and the LEA all at the same time. Within a few hours of the LEA recieving my letter a meeting had been arranged with the head of the LEA and Head teacher.
I was told it was very difficult to exclude a child from school, my reply was I didn't want him excluding I wanted him removing! I also said that had he been 10 years old I would have involved the police and reported him for assault. To cut a long story short he was removed after he attacked another child with a pair of scissors! It should never have got to that stage.