Daughter getting bullied

veryskint_3

!!!!!!_here wrote: »

Which is very demoralising for you and her, no doubt. I'd contact the Head about the teachers' attitude then, with names and examples of who told your daughter that and when, and perhaps throw in a mention of bullying being tolerated. That may wake them up to be more supportive.

Good luck.

Hi yes it is and very frustrating too. But the head has only been there just over a year and i think she is terrified of doing anything. I have got to admit though with all the troubles we have had they have been very supportive its just this situation that keeps happening. To tell you the truth, i dont think she knows (the head) what to do or what she can do. Because in the meeting all the head and the governer kept saying was "leave it with us we will do all we can" which is what ive heard for 4 years, and "do not confront the childs mother" WHY??? I would much rather if someone had a problem with my child to come and tell me to my face then i can deal with it.

devils_advocate

The first step is to go back to the Head. The school should have a joined up response to this, so that all teachers know of the situation, and if your daughter talks to any one teacher, she should be told that it is being dealt with. The dismissive stance is possibly taht each teacher who she speaks to is trying to make light of it, and is assuming that each is an isolated incident. If you can't geyt any joy from the head, take it up with the Governors - either write to the Chair of Governors or find out which Governor is responsible for pastoral care.

I also recommend the karate. Please ensure that she perseveres, as it will work wonders for her self confidence, as well as the academically important powers of concentration, self discipline and focus. My 11 year old has been doing karate for about 5 or 6 years, and we've seen major changes in his determination and concentration. Also, a couple of months ago we were having a play fight, when I was trying to flick his hair. He put up a series of blocks so that no matter how I tried I couldn't get near his head, and whilst he was blocking, not hitting, I could feel the power in his arms as he deflected my hands and arms away. So the self defence techniques tat your daughter will learn will probably be enough to deter the keenest playground bully, without her having to hit out.

veryskint_3

If you can't geyt any joy from the head, take it up with the Governors - either write to the Chair of Governors or find out which Governor is responsible for pastoral care.


I had a meeting with the head, deputy head, head of governers and her class teacher the last time i went in and that is when they told me to "leave it with them"

devils_advocate

veryskint wrote: »

If you can't geyt any joy from the head, take it up with the Governors - either write to the Chair of Governors or find out which Governor is responsible for pastoral care.


I had a meeting with the head, deputy head, head of governers and her class teacher the last time i went in and that is when they told me to "leave it with them"

If its been more than a couople of weeks since the meeting, I would send a note to the Head, copied to the Chair of Governors, asking for details of their action plan so that you can tell your daughter what she should do.

johnswife

www.bullying.co.uk

This site has some useful information.

We had to deal with our daughter being bullied when she was 11, she has just turned 15.
It was an awful time and something i will never forget. I did a lot of searching on the internet and find some sites very useful. They pointed us in the right direction, told us what letters to write. As you have already been advised, a letter to the head teacher, request a copy of the anti bullying policy and ask for a copy of your daughters school records. Make sure all your complaints etc have been recorded in the records.
My husband had to write more than one letter and I went to the school on more than one occassion. We did not stop or give up until our daughter was able to go to school without her life being made a misery. That was her right.
She also had to learn to ignore comments etc. I used to tell her to wear her hard hat. sticks and stones etc. She still cried and as a mother thats the hardest thing to know you can't stop her hurting inside.
It did get better and the school moved the "bad" girls around and "found"(if thats the right word) some girls to stick with my daughter.
The great thing is she is still best friends with these girls and the group of girls that were the bullies, well most of them get on with my daughter.
I know right now that nothing seems to be getting better but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

carlos700

My daughter is being bullied in her primary school ,i have been into school on several occasions and seen the head but it is still going on .

I am not sending my daughter to school until the bullying is sorted am i doing the right thing i dont want to get into trouble for not sending her but i feel i have no choice .

carlos700

VERYSKINT

This is exactly what my daughter is going through now and shes the same age .My daughter is being bullied in the same way so its hard for me and my daughter when we go into school to explain what this girls does .The bullying is emotional intimidation this girl also excludes my daughter and does not allow my daughter to make friends ,she to is so sneeky at the way she does it .
I have been into school on several occastions and seen the head but nothing changes .The girl who is bullying denys everything and because i cant show marks on my daughter where she has been hit i think the school thinks my daughter is just sensative .

Just a quick question veryskint -when you go into school seeing the parent governors or head is your daughter with you ?
I ask because when i asked to see the head they wanted me to take my daughter with me which i did ,the head and the teachers then started to question my daughter ,my daughted probley felt very intimadated at this point so she did not tell them all which she told me ,it just looked to them as my daughter is senative .
Good luck anyway i hope you get it all started you sound like you are doing all the right things .

johnswife

There is another thread on here, daughter getting bullied, please read there is some good advice.
When my daughter's bullying was at it's worst my husband phoned the school and told them she was not coming until he had an appointment with the headmaster, tutor teacher and everyone else involved. It was making her ill, not sleeping and eating etc.
But, she did go back and sooner rather than later.

Yes we all know you cannot just keep your child off school but a day or two to give her breathing space is ok IMHO.

Good luck.

Savvy_Sue

I will merge the two threads.

veryskint_3

carlos700 wrote: »

VERYSKINT

This is exactly what my daughter is going through now and shes the same age .My daughter is being bullied in the same way so its hard for me and my daughter when we go into school to explain what this girls does .The bullying is emotional intimidation this girl also excludes my daughter and does not allow my daughter to make friends ,she to is so sneeky at the way she does it .
I have been into school on several occastions and seen the head but nothing changes .The girl who is bullying denys everything and because i cant show marks on my daughter where she has been hit i think the school thinks my daughter is just sensative .

Just a quick question veryskint -when you go into school seeing the parent governors or head is your daughter with you ?
I ask because when i asked to see the head they wanted me to take my daughter with me which i did ,the head and the teachers then started to question my daughter ,my daughted probley felt very intimadated at this point so she did not tell them all which she told me ,it just looked to them as my daughter is senative .
Good luck anyway i hope you get it all started you sound like you are doing all the right things .

Hi i wonder if the kids go to the same school???? it sounds like the same girl. Her name doesnt begin with the letter O does it? As for going into the heads office, no my daughter was not with me and i wouldnt have took her in even if they asked. I once approached a teacher as my daughter wouldnt go into her class and i said i think maybe my daughter is a little scared of you ( she was STRICT and had her favourites) to which she asked my child if she was scared of her when id gone DURR!! of course she said no. So i went back in and told her how stupid it was to ask her that. I bet the school is happy when my kids leave.:D I dont care though as all kids have a right to feel safe and have a good education and whilst all this is going on they cant concentrate/sleep properly/eat all because of some little s*** who cant leave kids alone, it really makes my blood boil, and im like a lioness with my kids.