My hubby just walked out on me.

loulou88

hi poppy,
my heart goes out to you . I am a single mum and have been for 10 years. i was with my partner for 7 years. It is hard to split up. I have coped we have to for the children, you will be suprised how strong it makes you.
My biggest regret is giving up my college course when I split up with my partner. To this day that was the thing i regret most. I would be doing the job I wanted to now and be on a better wage, although I have always worked. I am planning to start this course again in a few years when my daughter is a little older.
Eventually you get over the split and life goes on. An education help you along the way. It will also help you have a life amongst other adults. Talking too children all day can send you a little ga ga.:eek: :eek:

Everything must seem so terrible for you right now and you will be hurting but I can asure you it will very slowly get better.
Don't let anyone tell you how bad you are or critise your life. no one is perfect. You sound like your doing a brill job :A of bringing up your children and thinking about your futures so carry on be strong and most of all do what is right for YOU and your children.
Good luck and it will all be ok you'll see

sinderella_2

It's totally understandable that you feel raw. I'm so sorry you're struggling,.Be kind to yourself

lindsaygalaxy

Hi Poppy

I send you my hugs. You sound like you are being strong, and Im sure there are moments when you dont feel so strong, but you have to keep looking at it as being your time and a new start for you.

It sounds as if he just cant handle the responsibility of havign a family, and would rather just play at being dad. Chances are he will get bored of being single etc again, but you will have moved on and be happy without him.

I just wanted to add that dont feel like you have to keep having him over when he wants too making you feel uncomfortable in your own home. I know you dont want things to seem awkard for the childrens sake, but they will pick up if you feel unhappy with him there, so ask him to take them out of it helps. And definetly set up regular times for him to have them, you need to go out and have some fun! your children will see a happier you which will make them happy:)

P.S. Make sure he gives you the money for the car or gives you the car back. You will need that money for a safety net. I know when your hurt it can be eaier to say sod it, but you may need it.

P.S.S. When I became a single mum, what really helped me was to buy some girly things for the house that I couldnt before, red bedspread, some fluffy curtains, and i redecorated the bedroom. It felt great!

Scarlett1

Poppyscorner hope you are ok today ?

I know that you want to keep things amicable for the sake of the children but you are entitled to be angry and let him know it, don't p ussy foot around him and don't let him pick and choose when he wants to be a family, there is no place for 2nd best and him saying he still fancies you but don't love you means that if there is anything between you in the future it will be casual, I think you are worth more than that

k1mmie

Just sat and read your entire post from start to finish. I want to congratulate you on so many things poppy.

You have the strength to move on and make a life for you and your children. Best of luck. I agree totally with you and so many other posters about the dangers of facebook/friends reunited/bebo etc. It is a total cop out for partners not to have to face reality.

The depression excuse is what they all turn to. But hey we as women cannot afford that luxury with all the stress we endure.

Good luck hun. Keep strong and I respect you whatever your decision. Keep on with the slimming club. (When I started to lose weight it was a complete wake up call for my hubby when he started spounting the depression - not happy but still fancy you lark). They must have a manual to follow.

All the best.

staffsone

I found out that my partner (we don't live together) had been 'talking' to a woman on the Make Friends Online website earlier this year.

I had been having a really rough time and he had been helping me to try and get sorted, so when I found this I was absolutely devastated! He had been communicating with her for a couple of months and was arranging to meet her for a meal when we (my children and I) had moved into our new home. I found this out the day before my birthday and subsequently spent my birthday questioning him.

He said it was because he thought I was 'drifting away from him' - with all that was happening to the children and I it was to be expected that I was preoccupied!

Having discussed it all - calmly - I realised he has a big ego and I wasn't massaging it enough!!!!

He said he never intended to actually meet her and that he does love me - he only wanted to make a friend .

However, it now means that the trust between us has been dented and it will take a while to rebuild.

I do hope that however it pans out for you that you will be a stronger person because of all this and I wish you all the best xx

CB1979_2

staffsone - your fella was lying

BLUis

CB1979 wrote: »

staffsone - your fella was lying

sweeping statement isnt it, given you dont know all the facts!

melancholly

CB1979 wrote: »

staffsone - your fella was lying

don't judge everyone by your own standards

CB1979_2

BLUis wrote: »

sweeping statement isnt it, given you dont know all the facts!

not at all, he only caved in once she found out.

he had been chatting this woman up for months, arranged to go to "lunch" with her, but had no intention of going?? yeah righto, he would've been there like a flash if he hadn't been "caught".

the fact he had already pretty much pyschologically ended the relationship in his head by the "we were drifting away" BS

@ melancholy - not my standards, as i wouldn't have been chatting up another woman on the side anyway