My hubby just walked out on me.

CarolynH

Hi Hun, I don't have any more advice to add, it's all been said but didn't want to read and run. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

fraz_babe

I am just typing a brief reply as my keyboard is rubbish so i will reply want i want to put later. But please do not quit uni, dont let him ruin your future. Of course you need to think of your life at the moment as well. If you two are over for good i would sort out details of when he can see his two children, and money for his children to (CSA). I know CSA i think has to go on your children, but you can spend it on clothes for them, etc.

Also if you have a spare bedroom maybe you could get a lodger? A friend or family? It would keep you company and also help with the bills. I think its also to do with the internet, meeting his old school friend. I would not get back with him. Its not healthy for any of you. And not just that, you can be treated better. His mother is wrong. He was not doing too much, i dont mean to sound rude .. .. but its part of being a parent.

simpywimpy

Don't rush into any decision just yet. It's early days. I would let the dust settle and see what happens next. He may have just had a mid life crisis - fueled by his doting mother by the sounds of it.

You need to sit down and talk, perhaps somewhere away from the home and on your own if you could organise a sitter for a couple of hours.

Sounds like it's been one thing after another for both of you.

Hope it turns out okay for you. x

velocity.girl_2

oh hun hugs to you...he sounds just like my ex hubby...self centred and childish. My hubby now went through a very similar phase too...and has finally sorted himself out...i think you need to carry on as normal with uni and looking after yourself and kids...if he wants to jump ship for some bint he went to school with(and hasn't been in contact with her for 14 years!!!!) then it's up to him, he's throwing away everything not you...stick to your guns, i reckon it's just attention seaking!!
hugs hun
xxx

inaspin_3

I don't really know what to say about your husband- apart from that it sound lke you can do a lot better. But when it comes to university, please try and stick it out, my mum did a degree whilst workking when my brother and I were little and her partner left her 6 months into it. I was a little bit older than ur kids, and can't remember it all that well, but every now and again I went to my nans for the day and had a great time whilst my mum studied. She found it hard, but she worked her socks off and came out the other side, better job, more money and now has a great partner. Maybe every now and again someone could look after ur little ones? U need to think of what u can get out of it, it may be hard work dong it all on your own but i'm sure u'll come out of it an even stronger person.

Keep your chin up! xx

RoxieW

In my opinion facebook is the devil! Apparently now social networking sites are the biggest cause of relationship breakups (havent a clue where I read it!). He's obv got a thing going with this girl and thinks the grass is greener. What a wimp. Any man who can leave his wife and two children in the lurch for some nostalgic memory of a girl at school who he doesnt even know doesnt deserve the name 'dad'.
Sadly there are people like this in the world. Its just unfortunate you've been lumbered with one of them.
Hugs to you - dont give up Uni - you'll get childcare paid and lots of financial help. Better your life for you and your kids and let this bleep flit from one relationship to another, cos he thinks the next bit of skirt is better then what he has. I hope dumping his family is the biggest regret of his life.

wendywitch

Right, we can all advice on what to do about him but we obviously don't know him and aren't you so that I'm sorry to say is down to you.
Money wise - phone tax credits tell them the situation and see what they say, they may just tell you to contact DSS as your a student.
Phone the council tell them he's not there anymore, and that u want to claim council tax benefit. It will go down 25% anyway if you're a lone adult in the property.
Phone DSS or whatever it's called nower days see what they say about help with your mortgage, although I would hope your husband would still pay it.
Do you have a welfare officer or counsellor at uni? Speak to them they should be able to advice on help with child care though I presume you already have someone looking after them?
There might be some type of crisis loan or similar you might be entitled to.
You could go to the CAB but I don't normally find them much help.
Personally I wouldn't contact the CSA until I was sure of what was going on and that I wasn't going to take him back

Hope that was of some help.

Mips

Don't take this a second time lady!

Be strong for your kids

It will be hard but worth it in the long run.

Js_Other_Half

<hugs>

So sorry you are going through this. Do not give up uni without giving it a good go - it'll help you in the long run. Do check out the situation with welfare benefits - either via CAB or your university.

Ignore your MIL - she only has one half of the picture (heavily edited by your husband). I don't think it's unreasonable for a person starting work at 10am to get the two children ready for the day.

hm71_2

poppyscorner wrote: »

Hi all,

a phonecall from his mother saying I expect to much he does a lot more than other blokes (he gets our kids ready for school and nursery most days and will not lift a finger to do anything else and apparently he resents this though he has never said so to me he is self employed as a roofer he works 10am till 4pm max) she also reckons that I shouldnt work I should be home looking after him and my children instead of trying to get a career of my own something we have also discussed and he wouldn't hear of but he obviously hasnt said that to her. .

firstly you have kids certainly don't need to be looking after a great big one!!! secondly facebook, friends reunited etc.. :mad: why do people think that the old girl/boyfriend they have started to chat to after ex amount of years is still going to be the same or better than they have- they have grown up also and will have all the baggage that we all have picked up through life! and as for the MIL comments if shes so bothered let her look after him 24/7 he helped bring the children into the world why not help care for them- if he is at home at a time (working 10-4) that he can take the kids to school whats the prob. my mil was always saying men should be the breadwinners and women care for the kids- untill my hubby pointed out to her he loved looking after the children if the opportunity arose- soon shut her up. don't let her get you down. good luck with your course and good luck sorting everything out.