My hubby just walked out on me.

lindsaygalaxy

Hi ya

I just wanted to send you hug. who knows what he is doing, maybe it is one of those the grass is greener things, or maybe he is depressed and doesnt know what to do. What you have to decide is what you want. You will be able to get help while studying, such as not having to pay council tax, childcare costs (85% not the 70% from Tax credits as you cant get both), and depending on income HB etc.

You may worry about it being harder if he doesn come back, but when things have not been going well, you may find it easier! I did, no stress from arguements or worrying what they are doing or texting, doing things your own way...

If he comes back to talk, do whatver you feel is right. I hope it works out for you either way.

Shineyhappy

Hi Poppy,

I really hope he sees sense but it sounds like his mum encourages his self obsessed behaviour and would rather blame you than accept her son needs to grow up.

You mention depression, have you suggested he sees his doctor?

Have you discussed going to Relate with him? Maybe he needs someome to help him see things from your point of view and not like a child?

CB1979_2

come on, we all know what he's upto.

facebook/myspace at it again!

he's contacted an old "friend" been flirting on line (if he hasn't already met up with her), been analysing his relationship with you and seems to think he'll be better off with this other woman.

seems very strange behaviour to act all dodgy on facebook, but then openly asks you to go to a concert and stay over (!!!!!! is that all about!).

being self employed he would've been able to come up with a million and one different reasons to go (urgent job, etc etc) so why come out and tell you? strange.

first off ignore the witch of MIL
second off does he actually mean this or is it the old "we were on a break" thing so it justifies it in his head to still go upto scotland this weekend.

strange indeed, good luck though

chattycathyuk

Hi Popppy,

I can understand everything you say. First of all how dare he ask you if he can met is old school friend, sleep at her house and take her to a concert! the cheeky sod! does he think he can just walk all over you?? i would of kicked him right up the backside.


His mum has no right to talk to you like that! you are a human too and desever a life, a loving family and a career of your own. She should be sticking on yourside, not pulling you down!

you husband need to grow up and stop running away from his problems! (Quote) " ill tell you whats wrong with me tommrow" whats that all about, hes playing mind games. does he want you to sit up all night worring whats going to happen the next day? Your his wife and if hes got a problem he should talk about it with you, take you out to a concert not a old school chum. If you feel this is just a rough path and you both want to sort it out, you both need to sit down away fron the children ( go to the Park ect) and see if its worth fighting for? you both have to want it to make it work! you could try http://www.relate.org.uk/

But if he does want out, ill let him go. dont let him go away for a few weeks of freedom and then take him back. tell him if he going thats it! tell him your going bulid your life around yourself and you kids and he cant just walk back in a mess with your heads, this isnt fair on you or you little ones . I understand how scared and frighting this will be for you, but you really cant be with someone if he doesnt repect who you are and what you do.

As for university dont give up on your dreams, there yours and they belong to you! if you feel you cant cope, go part time. you deserve a career and your children deserve a happy mum!!

Whatever you do be happy and look after your beautiful children

jasonjuicer

how sad!

Oldernotwiser

For goodness sake don't give up university now, it's even more important than before that you develop your career to support yourself and your children if you're on your own. You WILL get through this!

moneysaver12

Wanted to send you hugs and to say that iam thinking of you. Don't give up uni. He does sound like a kid and sounds like you are better off without him. I would ignore his mil she wasn't the one in your relationship

emsywoo123

Nothing constructive to add, there will lots of helpful advice on here, just wanted to send hugs xx

laughingnome

He has a child who was 2 at the start of your relationship, has been unfathful at least once (that you know of) in the time you've been together--in 'reaction to you being seriously depressed following the birth of his child (and that following a stillbirth), and now has itchy feet again!!!!!

He is totally selfish, spoiled (his mummys response gives clues here), and lazy. He will cause you years of stress and heartache unless he's seriously willing to sort himself out (if you do take him back give him serious ground rules and ONE chance only).

My opinion is that you should ditch him, as long as you're with him you're closing the door on all the nice, hardworking guys out there that you and your DS's deserve to have in your lives

snoopy_and_woodstock

Hi Poppy,

Just wanted to send hugs. It's horrible being in this situation my EX-OH did the exact same thing to me we had our 2yr DD at the time and he decided he didn't love me, couldn't cope with having a child or the responsibility of a mortgage.

So just upped and walked out. I was gobsmacked i didn't even see it coming, getting married was his idea then he pushed me to get pregnant then he wanted a house!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After the shock i got myself a job got my DD into a nursery and got on with my life it was the best thing he ever did. He didn't help financially but i got as much advice and help as i could from the council and my mum helped me contact WTC about benefits it was a tight few months but i did it and i managed to keep the mortgage going and paid the bills.

I met my now OH and i realized how unhappy i was at the time and was just drifting.

Don't give up on Uni you sound strong enough to cope and see it through, get as much help and support from your family as you can and make sure your claiming everything you can. It sounds as if he hasn't grown up properly yet and its his loss at the end of the day.

Just remember no matter how much your children miss there dad they really need you now and they will remember that your were there for them when he wasn't when they are older.

Snoops x