Feeling guilty for wanting to be sahm,when children in school

mrs_pepperpot_3

i think people who hate sahm's are just jellous. after all the holidays are i think 12 weeks a year, and organising childcare through those can be awful, you end up being a 50% mum half one place half another, then their is when they are ill.... what fun!

Gingham_Ribbon

mrs_pepperpot wrote: »

i think people who hate sahm's are just jellous. after all the holidays are i think 12 weeks a year, and organising childcare through those can be awful, you end up being a 50% mum half one place half another, then their is when they are ill.... what fun!

I know what you're saying and certainly it's a further reason for me wanting to continue being a housewife for the forseable future. But a mum who works is a full time mum whether or not she also has another job. We don't call dads part time dads when they go out to work full time.

celyn90

For me you've answered the question in your own post - that you want to and your husband is happy for you to. Provided you are both happy and he is not going to be resentful that he has to work and be the only soure of finacial support then that is fine. You have to do what you feel is right for your family.

Rachie_B

Go for it,dont care what others think

personally, i couldnt wait to get back to work ( part time) when my youngest started school !

I have the best of both worlds I think

I was a SAHM until he went to school, and now ( he is 6) I am a nanny ( i work 3 days a week usually) and am able to drop my son to school and pick him up ( some days he goes to after school club til 5.30pm but he loves it )

In the school holidays i can take him to work with me,or he goes to my sisters house ( and i repay the favour!)

I couldnt be a SAHM with no children at home,i would be bored !

I love having some days off,to catch up on household thing,meet with friends etc, but dont think i could do a 5 day wk at home

plus i like having "my" own money that i have earned

I don't need to work,hubby has a very well paid job,but i like working

DigitalJedi

If you can afford to be a SAHM without resorting to claiming benefits and your husband is also happy with that then go for it! It really is nobody elses business how you run your life.

I wish you good luck.

x_raphael_xx

I say you should go for it. You have the support from your OH, and you will manage financially so there is nothing stopping you.
Most people would love the opportunity to give up work. Go for it and good luck to you.

galvanizersbaby

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

I know what you're saying and certainly it's a further reason for me wanting to continue being a housewife for the forseable future. But a mum who works is a full time mum whether or not she also has another job. We don't call dads part time dads when they go out to work full time.

I think what Gingham Ribbon was trying to illustrate is the juggle working parents (be it mum or dad) have in the holidays, sickness etc... don't think she was suggesting that a mum that works is only half a mum (maybe wrong though!?)

I think it would be silly to feel guilty about being a sahm when you can afford not to work and that is what you would like to do.
People are so judgemental and though I've nothing against sahm's personally I do find at my son's school I tend to be made to feel bad for not being there for him after school (I work full time because I have to) and I get a lot of comments about how it must 'effect him'
I've no choice but to work to support us financially (without claiming benefits) but given the choice I would rather work term time so I could be there for my son.

You must do what works for you and not feel guilty about it! enjoy! x

pepsicola_2

Dippychick wrote: »

Usually only the ones on the dole

as a matter of interest when your children are in school are you going to call yourself a sahm or on the dole

and yes i'm a working mum but i can also put home made food on the table, its not just sahm that can do that

Alikay

pepsicola wrote: »

and yes i'm a working mum but i can also put home made food on the table, its not just sahm that can do that

Likewise, it's not only mums with jobs that make a contribution to society.

I'd never dare refer to myself to working mums at school as a SAHM -they'd think I was being judgemental about their choices. I also can't say "I don't work" as they'd wrongly think I was claiming some form of benefit! Luckily when the kids were at primary school I tended to be defined by my voluntary job (cub leader) and now they're older I don't have any of that school gate malarkey.

Why on earth can't we women just live and let live rather than try and assuage our own guilt by knocking those who make different choices! I'm sure most men don't beat themselves up about the choices they make!

emma12345

I agree, if you can afford to be a SAHM and it's right for you and your family then go for it, enjoy it.

Before my daughter started school she had a time when she was too clingy to go to a nursery or childminder (long story). Even though I was looking after the little one 24/7 my OH would tell everyone that I was unemployed!

I feel that there's nothing wrong with putting your family first, they'll be plenty of time for working outside the time later.