Feeling guilty for wanting to be sahm,when children in school

pariskate

Interesting that you say you feel 'should go out to work'. 30 years ago everyone would have said that you should have stayed at home! If you can afford it and want to be a full time mum then do so an learn to ignore any prejudiced and/or ignorant and/or hurtful comments from others. I've been a SAHM for 12 years now and enjoyed it enormously. I also feel I contribute a lot to society through my volunteer work which I have time for now the Children are in school.

suzybaby2001

My Mum gave up work when I was born and never went back, I would love to do the same when the time comes but it just won't be possible.

cazziebo

And being a SAHM isn't work? it's the most important job there is... Mojisola says everything I would want to say

I was only a SAHM for a couple of years and had to work for economic reasons (not for luxuries, my ex left me with two kids under three and finding a job was the only option) I think children need you more when they are growing up and coping with school and hormones and the rest. I never needed time off work when my two were younger, but have had to take a bit off during the temperamental teenage years! (and maybe if I had been around more in the early years I wouldn't have had these problems)

Your kids will thank you for it - enjoy!

Alikay

My 3 children are teenagers, and guess what? I stay at home! I don't feel guilty either: DH works away a lot, and when he's home he doesn't want to be sharing the housework, admin or going to Asda...he wants to relax and spend quality time with family and friends. Me staying home enables that to happen. We don't claim any benefits and we don't have any debts -partly because DH is paid well, but also because I shop wisely, cook well and economically and have time to run the home finances carefully. Yes, sometimes it's not enough: boilers break, cars fail MOTs, kids need braces ...so then I temp for a few weeks.

Don't apologise, don't explain: it's your life - live it how you and your family want to!!

This site is such a brilliant tool for helping you to get the most from your money. I do paid surveys, daily clicks, switch our suppliers, use cashbacks......loads of stuff which gives us that important little extra which all adds up.

Oh, I do voluntary work too, which I really enjoy, so I don't get bored and isolated.

Psykicpup

since when was being a SAHM not working ! :rotfl:
its not like you cant afford it & would be claiming loads of benefits
I would still do it if I could & mine are grown & left home :rotfl:

seriously tho - leave work be a SAHM ,& if you really get everything done before 9 am ! then look for a diifferent part time job - just to speak to adults sometimes

grab this excuse with both hands:j

many people have died wishing they had spent more time with the family but no one has ever complained on thier death bed that they didnt spend enough time in the office :eek:

*Louise*

OP - Why in the name of the wee man are you even considering feeling guilty about remaining a sahm??

If your family can manage on one wage...then why not do it? If it is going to benefit your children, then it is the right thing to do.

You will have time to do things, plenty time to prepare meals, don't have to worry about taking time off work if they are ill, less stress etc etc....ignore what other people think and do what is best for you and your family.

Cruiksl

Don't feel bad. We beat ourselves up so much about things that we shouldn't. If it works for your family then that's the most important thing. I work for 10 hours a week but find myself saying "I only work 10 hours" as though I have to justify myself.

It's about respect - for your decision on deciding what is right for you and yours.

crockpot

Thanks for all that.

I will not be on the dole!! My hubbie works full time on an average wage and he is happy to support us all.

I take care of the money, he admits he is rubbish with money and we would be bankrupt if he held the purse strings!

Thanks for all your kind words.

i am not going to rush into finding another job, was looking at a bit of cleaning or school dinners, but going to have some time for me! and get all the stuff done that i don`t have time to do now.

If I get bored of find with all the price increase, money is tight, I will look for some thing.

whitewing

Check out tax credits too. Useful for a pension for you. Entitledto.com will let you know. Your husband works; you may well end up doing voluntary work in your community. There's nothing wrong with having what you're entitled to.

Gingham_Ribbon

I'm going to be in no hurry to 'get a job' when my children are at school. I love being a stay home mum.

So the cleaning and cooking will be largely done by the time the kids come home from school. The house will be warm and inviting, you won't have to be scrabbling about trying to get everything done when DH is home from work and the kids need to do their homework. Your family can eat home made, healthy food and have delicious home made treats too. If you're happy doing it and you can afford to do it I can't see how it wouldn't be best for the family.

So that said, the only other thing to consider is you. If you would be happy in that role while the children are at school, then great. It also gives you an opportunity to do other things that you're interested in. Do you want to get any more education? Do you want to join the PTA or become a school governor? Is there anything in the community you want to change or improve? Do you want to do any volunteer work? Or maybe you can just keep your eye out for another part time job that doesn't interfere with your other job of being there for the children after school?

Maybe in time you'll find a job that you'd be happy to use a childminder for a couple of hours a day or maybe in time you'll feel you need it to improve the family financies. But if they aren't issues now, then why push yourself to do something that you don't need to do and don't really want either?