Hubbie cheating

shellsuit

Poppykins wrote: »

Thanks Shellsuit. I did write the number down - not sure I would have the courage to call it tho. I guess I know the deeper I go the more might come out. I feel so upset now that I sort of want to protect myself from getting more hurt - does that make sense?

It does make sense

You can either brush it under the carpet and not say anything, or you can ask him and swallow whatever he tells you.

Personally I'd want to know everything, because I can't deal with things unless I know what I'm up against. I'd rather feel hurt and upset and know the truth, rather than not know and worry and wonder all the time.

Do you feel upto asking him tonight? x

Mips

I would definitely text her and glean as much info as you can.

If nothing else is achieved, the anger you will feel from doing it may be just what you need to confront the cheating rat.

I am so sorry you are in this situation, I would be devastated myself. Stay strong

Poppykins

Thanks Shellaspey. I have only read afew of the texts (only checked his phone 4 times - but texts there each time).

Not sure when they would have time to meet up?? He always seems to have plausible excuses for going out. He has his own art business (that is struggling financially) and much of his daytime is spent doing work on that. Evenings are spent doing art classes.

Alikay

Poppykins wrote: »

Shellsuit - the suspicions I had were mainly about him suddenly being so nice at home and him saying he wanted to give me one evening a week when I could go out and do my own thing.

Aaahhhh...so you'll think "how thoughtful" and reciprocate by giving him a night off too! So he can have a night alone texting/phoning her in peace and another night for seeing her. He may be being so nice because he feels guilty.

Poppykins

Thanks for all the lovely responses - you are making me feel stronger already. I may confront him tonight but he wont be back until later (at an art class again tonight), but I might think over it over the next 24 hours.

regarding texting her - not sure about this. If she is also cheating on her partner she maybe unwilling to give me any info.

Alikay

Maybe call pretending to be the phone network offering an upgrade? I get these all the time - She may just spill the beans over her name?

shellyaspey

yep dippy i agree text her or follow him i would definatley it sounds like he is trying to get you out the house one night a week i would plot some elaborate plan tell him your going out for the night come home early but then again i am a deviouse cow i would follow him

annie_d

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I have a similar thing going on here but much denial on his side. However, i KNOW i am right.
On the plus side I can't eat because I feel so sick so the weight is droppping off!
"Not sure when he would have time to meet up" made me smile. That's what my husband is saying. Time can be found.

I wonder how all this will pan out for us.

Good luck for your future x

pandora205

Hi Poppykins
This is awful for you and there is no easy way out. You are obviously thinking through all the options... You must feel very confused and anxious and probably angry too (you seem to be doing everything as well as putting up with all this!) It would be difficult to put this behind you without dealing with it in some form.

If you need someone to talk to Relate are very helpful and would support you in deciding what to do. If it got to the stage when you both needed someone neutral to help decide what to do they will offer support to you together too.

shellyaspey

oh alikay good idea lol ! poppy do you know for deffinate he is at this art class ? could you not go and stake it out ? just some hard evidence would be good