Am I being 'Out of order'?

mspig

bandraoi wrote: »

If it's Scenario A, she'll be happy and after a bit you'll be happier
If it's Scenario B it'll drive her absolutely batshit not to have gotten one up on you
and you'll have the moral high ground in all future arguments.

£3,000 is alot of money just to have the moral high ground though. This money could be spent on a decent family holiday somewhere the family want to go and with spending money to go with it.

I personally wouldn't go but thats my own opinion and about if it were my inlaws but ever one is different. I would just say "sorry we would love to be there but we can't afford all that money how about we get together either before the wedding or we will throw a party when you get back" That way you are not having to go to the wedding but showing that your not being malice about it and would love to be part of it by offering them a party on their return. Best of both worlds.

MrsE_2

mspig wrote: »

£3,000 is alot of money just to have the moral high ground though. This money could be spent on a decent family holiday somewhere the family want to go and with spending money to go with it.

I personally wouldn't go but thats my own opinion and about if it were my inlaws but ever one is different. I would just say "sorry we would love to be there but we can't afford all that money how about we get together either before the wedding or we will throw a party when you get back" That way you are not having to go to the wedding but showing that your not being malice about it and would love to be part of it by offering them a party on their return. Best of both worlds.

Might be a bit tricky with the inlaws if they say they can't afford it. Do they then forgo a family holiday that year.

Would cause a lot of bad feeling if the said for instance, "No we can't afford to go to your wedding in Cyprus" & then jetted off to Crete for their family hol. (places are a guess as OP has been asked where it is many times & has yet to say - pretty sure people only asked to offer help with prices in the area).

I wouldn't want to do without my annual hol to make a point.

CB1979_2

well go for a few days then.

trying to justify it "well they haven't spoken in 5 years" and all the other BS is just you trying to cover up you hate her (and that's fine).

seems the only person who you're trying to convince is you.

why over-complicate things, either make an excuse and don't go or just go!

it's surely as simple as that.

damn

TITEASCRAMP

CB1979 wrote: »

well go for a few days then.

trying to justify it "well they haven't spoken in 5 years" and all the other BS is just you trying to cover up you hate her (and that's fine).

seems the only person who you're trying to convince is you.

why over-complicate things, either make an excuse and don't go or just go!

it's surely as simple as that.

damn

Thanks. Dont hold back. Just give it me straight next time.:rotfl::rotfl:

CB1979_2

well it just seems we're going round and round in circles.

it seems you're dead set against it (rightly or wrongly is neither here nor there).

so just tell your hubby that.

then just make up a suitable excuse to not make it look like you don't want to go but you CAN'T go.

mrcow

TITEASCRAMP wrote: »

Thanks. Dont hold back. Just give it me straight next time.:rotfl::rotfl:

lol But you're trying to drag your family into an argument that only you want to have!

Your husband wants to go
Your daughter wants to go
Everyone else wants you guys to go

You don't want to go

That's the bottom line.

bandraoi

If it's anywhere in Europe there is no way it needs to cost £3K for the three of you to get there. 3*flights (even at peak times) will be available for £200 pp = £600, 1 Family Room (or holiday let flat) 7 nights @100 per night = £700, Car Hire 1 week £200. That's £1,500, that's a maximum figure, not allowing for the time you have to do significant bargain hunting, or that you don't need to go for 7 nights.

Food you'd have to buy at home, so while you spend more it won't be a huge amount. If your daughter is flower girl her outfit should be provided, so it's just yourself and the husband. You'd be expected to buy a present anyway.

Assuming it's in Europe, the absolute max you have to spend is £2000, and I reckon you could half that by shopping around and booking early. Even outside Europe I don't see why it would be much more.

MrsE_2

bandraoi wrote: »

If it's anywhere in Europe there is no way it needs to cost £3K for the three of you to get there.
.

Is the "island" the Isle of Wight?

Go on, you can go, its not that far:D

judy2357

Cant believe Ive slept all night, been working for 7 hours and this discussion is still going and no one has found out the destination yet. Is it a secret?

TITEASCRAMP

Costa Smeralda. Not a secret, just has no relivance to the question I asked. Which has been answered now several times. Thanks to everyone who offered advice.