Advice on Potty training

lisamummytoarchieplusbump

i have only just got archie this past month clean day and night and to poo on the toilet he was 3 in may

at first he would only wee on the potty and screamed blue murder if i even mentioned the toilet, and for poos he would only do in a nappy and if i refused him the nappy and told it was potty or nothing he would just poo on the floor:eek:

after trying bribes and rewards he still refused so then i just stopped pushing the subject about going on the toilet,

then one day we was upstairs and hes potty was downstairs and he said he needs to go wee, i told him he would have to go on the toilet as the potty was missing and he just said ok and went on the toilet:j

but still the poo had to be in a nappy.

after a while as he was comfortable going on the toilet, when he wanted to go a poo i told him the nappys was all gone so he had to go on the toilet and he loves it now, always has to tell me whever its a big poo or just a small one:rotfl:

when i had my home visit for the nusery they asked is he toilet trained i said yes but we are trying to tackle the wiping bum bit now, she said well keep trying as we have X amount of kids and cant spend the whole time wiping bums

it is quite amusing at the mo as he wants to do it all by himself but doesnt clean it properly so a little bit later hes telling me he needs a wet wipe and lays on the floor legs in the air wiping hes bum(can just imaging the teachers faces if it happends in school lol)

with archie i just cut down the juice intake and kept reminding him but not get stressed and pressure him.

all of a sudden it just clicks and they get the hang of it

JimmyTheWig

I like the idea (from onlyroz) of a reward for going to sit on the toilet, even if they don't do anything (and hope you don't get into arguments about it being a "proper" try, etc!).

I've never been totally convinced by a "reward chart". What worked better for us was a "stary night sky". Get a sheet of black paper and some silver star stickers. Good behaviour (in our house at the time the criteria was "being nice to each other" but yours could be sitting on the toilet) results in being allowed to put a star on the paper. Over time the black paper beings a pretty starry sky. The act of putting the sticker on is the reward.

andrealm

Thanks for all your advice.
kjrv, Yes they are attached to a school, so that's a good idea.

Only roz, at the start we gave her a reward just for sitting to get her used to sitting on the potty but then we stopped and only gave it if she did something.

Jimmy, I like your idea of the starry sky, I think we might try that, it sounds like something that would appeal to her.

LondonDiva

It's not illegal for schools to ask for a child to be potty trained if there is not a disability which makes the expectation of potty training impossible to meet.

If your DS/DD is in fine fettle physically and mentally then there's no claim under the DDA.

You may be better off going in gently and askign about the school's policy about supporting toilet training / wiping bums etc.

beccam

I've heard so much conflicting advice regarding whether it is legal/right etc for a school to insist on being 'toilet trained' (hate that phrase) and it does seem to come down to the individual nursery/school as to what happens.
I know DD's nursery refused a place to a child who was not out of nappies yet, stating that they did not have staff or facilities to change a nappy.

As far as potty training....I read the dreaded Gina Ford book then used certain parts of it and forgot the rest!
-once you go into pants then don't go back unless there is seriously NO progress after a week to 10days
-talk about it before you start doing it and plan ahead with clothes/pants ready, let your DD choose some new pants and make up your sticker chart together.
-reward EVERYTHING!!! May it be sitting on the potty, doing a pee, poo, wiping, pulling clothes up or down. Reward with praise, clapping, stickers and incentives.
-I bought loads of Peppa Pig stuff (that was DD's fav thing at the time) from ebay...a massive box of stickers, some fridge magnets, a few little figures and other bits and pieces plus some sweets too! (only cost a few pounds total)

Sitting on potty got a smiley face drawn on the chart.
Pee got a small sticker
Poo got a big sticker and a happy face
Accidents got a sad face (this only started after we'd been doing it for a few days and I knew she could stay dry but was being lazy about it)

When daddy came home they counted the stickers and happy faces and if she had reached our set goal she got a fridge magnet. First day was say 3 stickers, next day 4, then 5, then changed to no sad faces etc etc.
There was only one day she didn't get the magnet and that was the day we decided to start introducing the sad faces!!

Once she got all the magnets then she got a slightly bigger reward (colouring book and crayons) and by that stage she was pretty much dry.

Pull ups were only used for sleep and after a few weeks she could have a daytime nap without pull ups then a few months later she decided to not wear them at night and in over a year we've only had 2 accidents at night.

The other thing was I did start getting a bit cruel about it.....if she had an accident then she was to (as much as possible) take off her wet things, clean herself and redress then put wet things in the washing machine, first couple of times she thought that was fun but it soon lost the novelty value! Like I say the sad faces came in and if she refused to sit on the potty she 'lost' a sticker by getting a sad face drawn over it, I also tended to send her to the potty or toilet even if she denied needing it, this seemed to happen more when she was tired and didn't want to sit still but was more prone to wet herself and of course when tired she was grumpy which was why the 'punishment' side came in as it saved any arguing....'you don't sit on it, you lose a sticker'.

Wishing you luck, I know by the end of that first week I was ready to tear my hair out as DD had been doing well for the first 4 or 5 days then seemed to just regress at the weekend but we stuck with it and she came round again with a bit more encouragement and incentive.

Marcheline

Hi my DD took to potty training quite easily, but she has done the odd poo in her knickers if we're out and about and she's excited/distracted! She's 2 and a half and I started when she was 2.

I went straight from nappies to knickers and did not put her back in nappies/pull ups during the day, no matter how many accidents she had. Just told her she was a big girl now and gave her little stars to put in a tupperware box when she made an effort on the potty. Then we'd count her stars throughout the day and she would proudly show them off to anyone who'd look at them! After about 2 weeks, we went from the potty to sitting on a child seat over the toilet, as she asked to go on the big toilet then, cos that's where she saw the grown ups going.

I would be reminding your DD ALL THE TIME about the toilet - every ten mins or so - and if she said she didn't need to go, maybe every hour I'd take her and pop her on the loo and say you've not been for a while now, so it's wee wee time now. If it is just that she doesn't want to stop playing, then she'll soon get sick of you asking her and she might start instigating going on the toilet to stop you from asking her all the time.

I know they say you shouldn't really force them to go, but early on if I thought my DD should be weeing as she hadn't done one in a while, I'd sit her on the toilet and tell her she couldn't get off til she went. This may not be the best idea with your DD though as she's slightly older and it may make her feel that her efforts are not good enough, but at 2 when I started toilet training my LO, it worked.

I was also talking to a mum at playgroup who said her DD took to it like a duck to water cos if she had an accident, she wouldn't clean her straight away, but she would finish what she was doing herself and then go and clean her. She said that as it was uncomfortable for the DD to have wet trousers for a few mins, she got the hang of it quickly. I know that this last one won't be everyone's cup of tea, but the lady said it worked and i've no reason to disbelieve her!

jack*tigger

You can't just ask her if she needs the loo and expect an accurate answer.

"No" often means "Yes but I'm in the middle of this game and I'd rather play thanks"

My DD had reward charts and stuff. But I also used to take her to the toilet whenever I went, before each meal, before we left the house, any time she looked a bit fidgity.
Little rewards for trying, bigger rewards for doing, huge reward for being dry all day.

Whatever you do she'll get it at her own pace. The playgroup should be a little more understanding. Accidents are always going to happen.

andrealm

Marcheline, I have been reminding her a lot but she always says she doesn't need it and then a few mins later has an accident. I've tried taking her but then she sits for ages and doesn't do anything, she can't seem to perform on cue. I've also been trying to get her to go before we leave the house but without much success. She's very stubborn and likes to do things on her own terms. She's been taking herself to the potty at home and is now starting to use the toilet more and she will tell me that she needs to go, and that she wants to use the big toilet. But when we're out she's very unreliable. A few times she has come and told me she needs to go but more often she doesn't bother as she doesn't want to stop playing. I have to admit I've started getting cross with her but she doesn't seem to care. I have even tried leaving her wet for a few mins but she doesn't seem at all bothered by it and I wouldn't want to leave her like that for too long.

London Diva and Beccam, I understand that although it comes under the DDA, it specifically mentions that all children are covered. It's part of the govt's Every Child Matters policy. I have also been encouraging her to undress and redress her self when she does have an accident.

1HANNAH

My ds1 should have started preschool at 3yr 1month but we hadn't got him potty trained as I was really sick through my pg with ds2 and ds1 wasn't showing any interest. So on his 3rd birthday when the letter came saying he could start the preschool (attached to a school) the following month we tried to get him potty trained but in the end he went for the first day had an accident so I was called in to pick him up and he was really upset to be leaving before all the other children so I decided to defer his place til he was ready. Spoke to the school (this was Nov last yr) and they said to give them a call as soon as he was ready and they would keep place open for him. After Xmas they rang to see how he was doing and up til xmas he hadn't been doing too bad but was still having odd accidents but over xmas he was really poorly and that set him back so we agreed with the school to defer again until after Easter. He wanted to go to school so we were able to use that as a reward for getting clean. reward charts he wasn't bothered about. So he was 3 in Oct and started school in April (he hasn't looked back since!)

PrincessPlaty

Touch wood im not speaking too soon!!

Yesterday morning DD decided to stack her potties on top of each other (she had one upstairs and one downstairs) they got stuck together and no matter what i tried i couldnt get them apart so thinking well she isnt really using them anyway :rolleyes: i put them in the bin she watched me do it and cried her eyes out :eek:

Next thing i knew DD1 was telling her how she was a big girl and didnt need her potty anyway as she could use the toilet like she did! DD2 wasnt too convinced but she got up this morning took her nappy off herself (i have been in bed dying of swine flu so wasnt too aware she had done it) i heard what i thought was DD1 going for a wee and i called her to ask if she was ok and didnt get any reply thought it was a bit odd and called her again still no reply next thing i knew DD2 was stood in my bedroom proudly announcing that she had been for a wee on the toilet like a big girl :j:j:j:j

She has only had one accident so far today and that was when she banged her head she got upset and did a wee whilst she was crying reassured her that it didnt matter and she was ok after that :j:j:j

Have just put her back into a nappy for bed and she said mummy im going to use the toilet tomorrow like a big girl :T

So hopefully fingers crossed this has worked!!