Advice on Potty training

jellyhead

alwaysonthego wrote: »

Bottles are not good for the teeth and promote tooth decay. Why don't you give him his milk in a cup?

One bottle per day is drained in a minute - it won't harm his teeth much, and he brushes afterwards.

It's a bedtime comforter - I know lots of kids this age who have a dummy at bedtime, and I don't think a bottle is as bad as a dummy. We've tried a few times to bin the bottles (before he was 2, and before he was 3 and while he was 3) but he gets really upset. He finds enough things a struggle at the moment, being the youngest in his school year and behind on so many things. He gets really upset at the thought of growing up - he didn't want to be 4. His nursery teacher mentioned dyspraxia several times. He has enough to struggle with - learning how to dress himself, hold a pencil, open a lunchbox, peel a banana etc. while being the youngest in class but head and shoulders above the rest so people think he is older and won't need help.

Out of all the babyhood things he could cling onto for a bit of comfort I don't think a bottle is the worst - it's only once a day. I'm not going to force him to give them up, but I have told him that nobody else at school will have one and that he should have stopped by now. He is aware that bottles are for babies. I have spoken to parents at nursery and 2 of the others still have a bottle although we all talked about getting rid of it before school.

I'm pushing him forward with everything else, but the bottle is last of my priorities - it doesn't affect how he fits into school or how the other kids view him.

alwaysonthego_2

jellyhead wrote: »

One bottle per day is drained in a minute - it won't harm his teeth much, and he brushes afterwards.

It's a bedtime comforter - I know lots of kids this age who have a dummy at bedtime, and I don't think a bottle is as bad as a dummy. We've tried a few times to bin the bottles (before he was 2, and before he was 3 and while he was 3) but he gets really upset. He finds enough things a struggle at the moment, being the youngest in his school year and behind on so many things. He gets really upset at the thought of growing up - he didn't want to be 4. His nursery teacher mentioned dyspraxia several times. He has enough to struggle with - learning how to dress himself, hold a pencil, open a lunchbox, peel a banana etc. while being the youngest in class but head and shoulders above the rest so people think he is older and won't need help.

Out of all the babyhood things he could cling onto for a bit of comfort I don't think a bottle is the worst - it's only once a day. I'm not going to force him to give them up, but I have told him that nobody else at school will have one and that he should have stopped by now. He is aware that bottles are for babies. I have spoken to parents at nursery and 2 of the others still have a bottle although we all talked about getting rid of it before school.

I'm pushing him forward with everything else, but the bottle is last of my priorities - it doesn't affect how he fits into school or how the other kids view him.

I was not critising you, and it is good he is not left with it all night. There are some really good cups for children, my dd has a winnie the pooh one what has glitter floating at the bottom of the cup.

Have you researched in to Asperger's, I automatically think of it if a child is intelligent but is lapsing in other areas of their development such as fine motor development.

jellyhead

Hi, we have bought him special cups that he likes, and I really thought we'd cracked it last time but after a week of the cup he was just drinking less and less milk and said he'd just have water instead. He's lactose intolerant, and I want him to have his (lactose free) milk at bedtime for the calcium, and to keep his belly full lol!

I researched into aspergers for my eldest, but youngest is okay. I think his clumsiness might be because he's huge, and his fingers, hips, ankles etc. are much chunkier than other children, so it's harder for him to dress himself if that makes sense. My eldest saw the child development centre for 6 years but never got a diagnosis although the other people we saw (speech, occupational therapy, psychologists etc.) suspected aspergers and dyspraxia.

Youngest is developing normally except for the poor fine motor skills - he knows full well that he shouldn't have a bottle, he is just being stubborn. School may mention dyspraxia but they may just put it down to being young and having fat fingers lol!

alwaysonthego_2

jellyhead wrote: »

Hi, we have bought him special cups that he likes, and I really thought we'd cracked it last time but after a week of the cup he was just drinking less and less milk and said he'd just have water instead. He's lactose intolerant, and I want him to have his (lactose free) milk at bedtime for the calcium, and to keep his belly full lol!

I researched into aspergers for my eldest, but youngest is okay. I think his clumsiness might be because he's huge, and his fingers, hips, ankles etc. are much chunkier than other children, so it's harder for him to dress himself if that makes sense. My eldest saw the child development centre for 6 years but never got a diagnosis although the other people we saw (speech, occupational therapy, psychologists etc.) suspected aspergers and dyspraxia.

Youngest is developing normally except for the poor fine motor skills - he knows full well that he shouldn't have a bottle, he is just being stubborn. School may mention dyspraxia but they may just put it down to being young and having fat fingers lol!

All children develop differently and at their own rate and if he has chunky fingers then fastening buttons will be difficult. I think as a mother you have to try anything to ensure they have their nutrients and I am sure he will grow out of it.

Getting an diagnosis for Asperger's is difficult!

Good luck with your little lad x

pickle

alwaysonthego wrote: »

Bottles are not good for the teeth and promote tooth decay. Why don't you give him his milk in a cup?

I also find it odd that people bribe their children to use the potty with lollypops and sweets. I never had to resort to those tactics, instead I used old fashioned praise which worked.

It's not odd, it's just what works for my child. You're lucky that you didn't have to "resort" to that. I tried praise but it didn't work.

jellyhead

alwaysonthego wrote: »

Getting an diagnosis for Asperger's is difficult!

So it seems. Primary just treated my eldest son as if he was diagnosed - I had to remind the SENCO sometimes that he isn't autistic because she just assumed that he is, and most of his IEP pointed to it (he was statemented for nursery and primary because there wasn't a space in the special needs nursery at the time, so we tried mainstream with a statement).

He's not statemented now, but high school noticed that he needed extra support so they gave him an hour a week 'social skills' lesson with another boy, and he's not being referred to CAHMS for counselling and has a pupil support plan to try to avoid any further classroom problems (he reacted with anger when he was jumped on by a group of boys).

I still swear that my eldest is dyspraxic, and a lot of the autistic traits that the SENCO at primary noticed come under the dyspraxia symptoms anyhow. My youngest is just clumsy, and likes his bottle but it's not an obsessive thing, not like my eldest who wouldn't leave the house without an unblown-up balloon to fiddle with.

Phew, I'll shut up now :rotfl: If youngest does seem dyspraxic then I'll ask for assessment

Back to potty training - I noticed today that the boy across the street is out of nappies - he's finished reception year so will be going into year 1 without nappies. He got the hang of things with help from school, but he had a bad time in nursery because his mum says they pushed too hard for him to train - she ended up taking him out of nursery. Schools gentle approach seems to have worked for him.

alwaysonthego_2

pickle wrote: »

It's not odd, it's just what works for my child. You're lucky that you didn't have to "resort" to that. I tried praise but it didn't work.

It also took me lots of perserverance, with dd1 she was relatively easy but with dd2 it took me ages to get her sorted out with her pooing in the toilet and not in her pants and at times I could have cried. But you have to keep on with it, praising them and not making a fuss if they do have an accident. To give a child a tooth rotter on a stick(lolly) for using the potty is just so wrong on many levels. I can't tell you how many pairs of knickers I got through but it worked out in the end and I have a confident little girl who can go to the toilet herself and this was without the use of any bribery, but through encouragement, patience and praise.

alwaysonthego_2

jellyhead wrote: »

So it seems. Primary just treated my eldest son as if he was diagnosed - I had to remind the SENCO sometimes that he isn't autistic because she just assumed that he is, and most of his IEP pointed to it (he was statemented for nursery and primary because there wasn't a space in the special needs nursery at the time, so we tried mainstream with a statement).

He's not statemented now, but high school noticed that he needed extra support so they gave him an hour a week 'social skills' lesson with another boy, and he's not being referred to CAHMS for counselling and has a pupil support plan to try to avoid any further classroom problems (he reacted with anger when he was jumped on by a group of boys).

I still swear that my eldest is dyspraxic, and a lot of the autistic traits that the SENCO at primary noticed come under the dyspraxia symptoms anyhow. My youngest is just clumsy, and likes his bottle but it's not an obsessive thing, not like my eldest who wouldn't leave the house without an unblown-up balloon to fiddle with.

Phew, I'll shut up now :rotfl: If youngest does seem dyspraxic then I'll ask for assessment

.

I had to write a university 5000 word essay on autism! The school sounds very supportive which many children don't get. Have you tried the National Autistic society, I referred to them in my essay and they have lots of useful info regarding statementing. You sound like you are doing a great job!

Lynn11

alwaysonthego wrote: »

It also took me lots of perserverance, with dd1 she was relatively easy but with dd2 it took me ages to get her sorted out with her pooing in the toilet and not in her pants and at times I could have cried. But you have to keep on with it, praising them and not making a fuss if they do have an accident. To give a child a tooth rotter on a stick(lolly) for using the potty is just so wrong on many levels. I can't tell you how many pairs of knickers I got through but it worked out in the end and I have a confident little girl who can go to the toilet herself and this was without the use of any bribery, but through encouragement, patience and praise.

I recently toilet trained my daughter in June and we used a sticker chart for every time she used the potty or toilet. She was quick to pick this up and loved getting a sticker to put on her chart which was on the fridge with a magnet. We filled up 3 charts of stickers and she got a few wee treats when the chart was filled up cause she was a good girl at doing her toilet such as bubble bath, hairbrush, bracelet, t-shirt and finally a music CD. She is fine now and goes to the toilet without an aids of the sticker chart and the treats have stopped. I am sure that your child will get there in the end if you are able to do a good reward system whether stickers or something else.

andrealm

DD1 is 3 and 4 months and is starting preschool on Monday. The problem is she's still not reliably potty trained, despite our best efforts. The preschool say that all children should be fully toilet trained, although they say they've had a few start in pull ups. They say that if they were having too many accidents they would have to stop coming to preschool until they were more reliable, but they would keep their place until Xmas! I understand that they are no longer allowed to exclude children because of this so could anyone advise me of what to do if they try to stop her from attending.

Also if anyone has any tips on potty training I'd be grateful, in all honesty it's driving me to the brink of insanity. I thought she was getting the hang of it although we still couldn't get through a day without any accidents. She's not so bad in the house but if we go out she gets distracted and then wets herself. I remind her but she says she doesn't need to go and then 2 mins later there's a cry of "I'm leaking"

How often should I remind her? I think she knows full well she needs to go but just doesn't want to stop playing. This morning we had 2 accidents at toddler group and then she went on her potty when she got home but then had another accident while playing out in the garden.