Advice on Potty training

JBD

I think nowadays parents are encouraged to toilet train their children later. Even twenty years ago it was considered normal to be out of nappies by around age two. If they weren't then this was a cause for concern. We also used to give babies solids at three months now parents are told to wait to six months.

boo80

I asked my health visitor for potty training advice when my daughter was 18 months, her advice was wait until she's 3! I tried a few times once my DD turned 2, but didn't really crack it until she was 2.5 (she's 3 tomorrow) and we still have poo issues now. I really think there is a lack of advice and as JBD said, parents are encouraged to wait.

pandora205

Interesting discussion - I think nappies are too absorbent these days and children don't mind wearing them. They don't get the uncomfortable feeling of being wet in the way they used to. In fact, they get to like the being enclosed feel of nappies and are resistant to taking them off.

Also many parents are very concerned about their carpets/furniture and the problems there are when out, so tend to only half train children, sometimes putting them in nappies and sometimes not. This is pretty confusing and takes much longer.

I usually suggest choosing the time to train very carefully, staying around the house if possible, summer is often best as clothing can be light or non-existent, keeping a bowl or carpet/floor cleaner at the ready and lots of dry clothes and to expect accidents. I used to say 'never mind, mummy's got a good washing machine' to mine, to show it wasn't a disaster if they didn't quite make it. The idea of getting 'grown up pants' with favourite characters on etc. is a good one, as is lots of toilet talk! Two weeks of intensive training is often enough for day time.

JBD

I agree about modern nappies being too comfortable. Also I never put my children back into nappies. Once they had done one wee in the potty or toilet they always wore knickers or underwear. Yes they will have the odd accident but this was the simplest way.

bestpud

I have never seen the point in pull ups if I am honest; I think they only benefit nappy manufacturers!

I've just had a gander round the internet and I can see nothing that encourages parents to wait until their children are 3 or 4 before toilet training them.

I should leave this thread alone as I really am flabbergasted!

I'd say a small percentage have some valid reason for being in nappies at that age and the rest have parents who simply have other priorities.

Very sad.

JBD

It is not just parents bestpud. My freind had aproblem with the nursery, they were putting her little boy into pullups when she was trying to toilet train him. It is just confusing for the child.

bestpud

JBD wrote: »

It is not just parents bestpud. My freind had aproblem with the nursery, they were putting her little boy into pullups when she was trying to toilet train him. It is just confusing for the child.

Yes, nurseries have been mentioned a few times, so perhaps that is some of the overall problem too.

DDs nursery were great and helped a lot with her toilet training but I guess they aren't all like that.

Personally, I'd take issue with a nursery that was stilting my child's development and I find it odd that parents just accept this.

angel_delight

I suppose I should be relieved my youngest dd's (just turned 4) nursery did accept her in nappies as she hasn't been the easiest to toilet train. I too tried everything from rewards, encouragement, bribes, big girl potty books for her, letting her choose pants, potty, padded toilet seat, star charts, Gina Ford books..you name it. Admittedly I only did half hearted attempts at toilet training until the age of three as I gave in too easily to her whinging/screams for her nappy back on. A huge part of me thought though that after having the eldest dd who was dry by day and night by age 2.6 that it'll be a breeze and it'll be done & dusted so to speak within a week so didn't feel too bad at putting it off (more often than I should of).

I couldn't see her taking as long as my son did either (3.8) as I knew this time round not to bother with the pull ups as he just treated them as nappies which only delayed things. Well I couldn't of been more wrong. It's true in that yes I do think boys on the whole from what i've heard generally take that bit longer but I was so wrong to presume it'll be a piece of cake just because she was another girl and that they all individually vary when they master it or even want to properly try.

It was only after a chance talk with her nursery teacher going back before last Christmas that I found out she was virtually the last one going there that still wore nappies- even younger ones wore pants. Did I feel embarrased or what! Just before that too I had recently found out that due to her being born in the summer she was actually due to start school in Jan 2010 at the age of 4.5. I'm greatful the local primary has two intakes as because of the length of time it's all taking it would of seriously been cutting it fine otherwise. Having had two autumn kids before I had no idea summer born ones can start up to a year earlier which is all wrong really. The developmental skills between a 4 (even 4.5) and 5 year old can be huge which seems so unfair- anyway that's another issue altogether that narks me. From that day on there was no going back (tough love approach)-she wore pants to nursery and spurred on I suppose by watching her friends and not having the nursery teachers give into her like her mum she soon got accustomed to using the toilets there.

Back at home though it has been taking a bit longer- she'd hold onto wee's for hours (still does with poo's until in pain/has nappy back on) and refuses to go on public toilets. Still yet i've got to get the night time sorted. Honestly it's enough to put you off having any more kids,lol. Fingers crossed were get there by the end of the year though. Good luck to all those struggling- your far from alone. I'm glad there's lots of support on here. So makes a refreshing change from the usual parenting forums bragging how their child managed it by such & such an early age or even worse listening to any older generations tutting away.

jellyhead

angel I envy you being able to wait until january for school - here the summer ones have to go in september with everyone else. My summer baby is toilet trained but is really struggling with dressing himself, he's also turned shy so I'm not sure if he will ask permission to go to the toilet. I wish he could have an extra term in nursery. It was the same with nursery - I wished he could have started in January.

A lot can change before Christmas - good luck, but the chances are she will have grasped it by then

I don't think night time nappies are a cause for concern though? I'm sure it's more common than people realise?

Floxxie

angel_delight wrote: »

I suppose I should be relieved my youngest dd's (just turned 4) nursery did accept her in nappies as she hasn't been the easiest to toilet train. I too tried everything from rewards, encouragement, bribes, big girl potty books for her, letting her choose pants, potty, padded toilet seat, star charts, Gina Ford books..you name it. Admittedly I only did half hearted attempts at toilet training until the age of three as I gave in too easily to her whinging/screams for her nappy back on. A huge part of me thought though that after having the eldest dd who was dry by day and night by age 2.6 that it'll be a breeze and it'll be done & dusted so to speak within a week so didn't feel too bad at putting it off (more often than I should of).

I couldn't see her taking as long as my son did either (3.8) as I knew this time round not to bother with the pull ups as he just treated them as nappies which only delayed things. Well I couldn't of been more wrong. It's true in that yes I do think boys on the whole from what i've heard generally take that bit longer but I was so wrong to presume it'll be a piece of cake just because she was another girl and that they all individually vary when they master it or even want to properly try.

It was only after a chance talk with her nursery teacher going back before last Christmas that I found out she was virtually the last one going there that still wore nappies- even younger ones wore pants. Did I feel embarrased or what?! Just before that too I had recently found out that due to her being born in the summer she was actually due to start school in Jan 2010 at the age of 4.5. I'm greatful the local primary has two intakes as because of the length of time it's all taking it would of seriously been cutting it fine otherwise. Having had two autumn kids before I had no idea summer born ones can start up to a year earlier which is all wrong really. The developmental skills between a 4 (even 4.5) and 5 year old can be huge which seems so unfair- anyway that's another issue altogether that narks me. From that day on there was no going back (tough love approach)-she wore pants to nursery and spurred on I suppose by watching her friends and not having the nursery teachers give into her like her mum she soon got accustomed to using the toilets there.

Back at home though it has taking a bit longer- she'd hold onto wee's for hours (still does with poo's until in pain/has nappy back on) and refuses to go on public toilets. Still yet i've got to get the night time sorted. Honestly it's enough to put you off having any more kids,lol. Fingers crossed were get there by the end of the year though. Good luck to all those struggling- your far from alone. I'm glad there's lots of support on here. So makes a refreshing change from the usual parenting forums bragging how their child managed it by such & such an early age or even worse listening to any older generations tutting away.

Thank you for your post. It made me feel I wasn't the only parent who is struggling.

I'm carrying out an 'experiment' with my youngest. Unlike the other two he has reusable nappies; I'm interested in seeing if they make a difference to the age he is toilet trained i.e. whether disposables really make a difference or if it is a inbuilt thing in a child as to when they can control their bladder/bowels and stay dry.