Advice on Potty training

nonowalker

I initially tried training my son just when he had turned 2 and it was a disaster! We got through no amount of clothing and he had no idea. I tried him again in July 3 months before he turns 3 and within 4 days he was fullly toilet trained. I felt l had to try him earlier as other parents with children the same age were but it just wasn't the right time for him. I waited until he could feel his nappy was wet and that he didn't like it and then did the potty training and had none of the stress or problems of the first time round. :rolleyes:

Mics_chick

I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion but I get really frustrated by those with a "holier than thou" attitude who are shocked by circumstances they themselves obviously have not experienced...:mad:
Ever heard the phrase walk a mile in a man's shoes before you judge him?

I've suffered with PMT for the 4.5 years since my ds was born.
I'm not lazy, dismissive or blase about my ds not being toilet-trained - it has been 1 of several sticks that I beaten myself with regularly...
I still have bad days where at my worst I'm barely able to function on a basic level - meaning that even looking after my kids is a struggle - so tackling something like potty-training is extremely daunting.

I did manage to potty-train my dd when she was aged 3.2 and my ds would've been 1.7 - I'm amazed that I was able to do it then when I think back now.

I've been on meds since my ds was 2 weeks old and am coming off them now coz I'm fed up with the side effects which I feel include mood swings???
(If you read the side effects of any anti-depressants they can cause symptoms that they're supposed to be treating???)

As I said before everyone's entitled to their opinion but the sheer fact that parents are struggling with this issue and asking for help and advice means that they're not the lazy so-and-sos others seem to think they are...
If you want to discuss the "shocking" fact that some 4yr old kids might start school in nappies why not start your own thread???

fuzzybear01

Mics_chick wrote: »

If you want to discuss the "shocking" fact that some 4yr old kids might start school in nappies why not start your own thread???

I was hoping that someone else might say this, It is supposed to be an advice thread but people appear to be posting with the sole intention of moaning about mother's these days etc etc

jellyhead

milliebear00001 wrote: »

Yes, I think it's different for nurseries. I was talking specifically about children not trained by the time they start school. Most nurseries will help with training, and especially private nurseries which deal with very young children and whose parents are often not able to train them themselves as they are at work. State nurseries, school nursery classes and many pre-schools/playgroups will expect children starting at three (first term after their third birthday) to be fully trained bar the odd accident.

Just a point re the not putting pants on a child; while I understand your reasons for doing this, and agree it might work at home, this makes for a nightmarish situation at nursery/school if the child does a poo. Straight out the trouser leg and it goes EVERYWHERE!

Yes, poo goes everywhere if they're not wearing pants, as I found to my cost while shopping in tesco :eek::rotfl: He wasn't ready for training, but everyone says once you start to do it quickly, just get rid of the daytime nappies. I thought he was ready but he wasn't.

The cleaning lady wasn't very nice about it actually, she told him off, said he should know better at his age. It was his first day out without pants and he was only 2 but the size of a 4 year old. I had cleaned everything up, all she had to do was use a sanitiser on the floor, it's not like I'd left a mess for her to deal with. Even if he had been 4 I don't think it was her place to tell him off :mad:

jellyhead

fuzzybear01 wrote: »

I was hoping that someone else might say this, It is supposed to be an advice thread but people appear to be posting with the sole intention of moaning about mother's these days etc etc

Not me - here's something shocking - my boy has turned 4 now but he still has milk in a bottle at bedtime.

Mics_chick

fuzzybear01 wrote: »

I was hoping that someone else might say this, It is supposed to be an advice thread but people appear to be posting with the sole intention of moaning about mother's these days etc etc

These people seemed to have disappeared into thin air anyway - thank goodness

My son is doing very well anyway - even though I've resorted to chocolate buttons but since I started giving them to him he's improved no end :T:T:T

pickle

Congratulations! Bribery works well doesn't it? As soon as I introduced lollipops as a reward my daughter was toilet trained in 2 days.

bestpud

Mics_chick wrote: »

I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion but I get really frustrated by those with a "holier than thou" attitude who are shocked by circumstances they themselves obviously have not experienced...:mad:
Ever heard the phrase walk a mile in a man's shoes before you judge him?

I've suffered with PMT for the 4.5 years since my ds was born.
I'm not lazy, dismissive or blase about my ds not being toilet-trained - it has been 1 of several sticks that I beaten myself with regularly...
I still have bad days where at my worst I'm barely able to function on a basic level - meaning that even looking after my kids is a struggle - so tackling something like potty-training is extremely daunting.

I did manage to potty-train my dd when she was aged 3.2 and my ds would've been 1.7 - I'm amazed that I was able to do it then when I think back now.

I've been on meds since my ds was 2 weeks old and am coming off them now coz I'm fed up with the side effects which I feel include mood swings???
(If you read the side effects of any anti-depressants they can cause symptoms that they're supposed to be treating???)

As I said before everyone's entitled to their opinion but the sheer fact that parents are struggling with this issue and asking for help and advice means that they're not the lazy so-and-sos others seem to think they are...
If you want to discuss the "shocking" fact that some 4yr old kids might start school in nappies why not start your own thread???

Ok, seeing as this has come to a 'I can't do it because I have problems thread', when my older two were young, I was in and out of hospital with mental health problems; I received DLA as I really struggled to survive daily and was on various medications. That lasted until they were well into school and I still struggle with mental illness today.

As I said, at that time, it was rare for a child to be in nappies at three and my dd was looking as though she wouldn't be able to start playgroup when she got to over two and was still in nappies.

You can get as uppity as you like, but I have as much right to be shocked by the general potty training age slipping to beyond 4/5 as you have to state your reasons why you've had problems and tell me to take my potty trainming questions onto a non-potty training thread.

We can all go on about how hard it was for us (I could write a book about my life but it wouldn't make nice reading) but my questions are valid.

People managed when it was not acceptable to send their child to school in nappies, except for those children with a disability or the like (there will always been a proportion of children in nappies at 5)!

This is primarily about it becoming acceptable to have teachers leave their class to change nappoies and that, imo, is not what they are paid for, and will do nothing to help our struggling education system.

It takes patience and persistance and some days it seems a never ending battle (I thought my dd1 would never be out of the darn things and shed many a tear over it), but it has to be done I'm afraid.

It really is about keeping calm and giving things a try - if they work, great, but if they don't then give it some more time and if it still fails, try something else.

alwaysonthego_2

jellyhead wrote: »

Not me - here's something shocking - my boy has turned 4 now but he still has milk in a bottle at bedtime.

Bottles are not good for the teeth and promote tooth decay. Why don't you give him his milk in a cup?

I also find it odd that people bribe their children to use the potty with lollypops and sweets. I never had to resort to those tactics, instead I used old fashioned praise which worked.

milliebear00001

Hello, have been away and only just returned to this thread. I don't know if Micschicks comments were aimed at me but my intention was not to judge. In fact I have posted on the TES thread I mentioned, trying to put the parental point of view across to some VERY judgemental teachers! What I wanted to do, was counter the view presented here that schools will all be supportive of non trained children's parents. Most will NOT be happy if your child enters their class in nappies. They will of course do what they can to help you get your child trained (this is in their interest too!) but they will definitely be resentful at having to use their time doing something that is a parent's responsibility, that leaves them vulnerable in terms of child protection issues, and that deprives all the other children in the classroom of their attention.

I think it's great that you are trying your best to get your child trained before school, but yours is not that unusual a case - untrained Reception children are a growing phenomenon - unheard of even ten years ago - the reasons for this trend really need investigating, and tackling.