Big Badger House (aka Noisy Lodger) HE'S GONE!

Wobblydeb

Badger_Lady wrote: »

Wobblydeb, while I see your point, what I really don't want is to be somebody's parent (particularly when that somebody is the same age as me!). And I don't want to live in a house with a hostile atmosphere or where people feel uncomfortable.

If I started storming around shouting at people, then they would act like children in need of discipline. And if that's in their nature, then they can just !!!!!! off 'cos it's not my job to raise them as respectful grown ups.

I would like to share my home with people like me, who treat the home like it's theirs (not their parents'), who look after it and take care to befriend those around them. It's happened plenty of times before, and once this manchild has vacated it'll happen again

But people do feel uncomfortable. You, JoannaLodger and Tufter don't want to go into the lounge when he's there. If I was JoannaLodger I would have left already. Your neighbours are uncomfortable and not enjoying peace and quiet in their homes.

All I am suggesting is that setting boundaries early will actually encourage the more immature tenants to behave because they get a swift lesson early on that selfish behaviour won't be tolerated. They'll either shape up, or move out. You've tried the gently gently approach, and got months of annoying behaviour as a result. I genuinely believe you'd have had a more pleasant 6 months if you'd been firmer earlier.

I understand that you don't want to become someone's mum, and that not every tenant will be so inconsidrate (thankfully!). But what are you going to do if you get another character like this?

Personally I'd prefer to try a bit more weeding out by explaining to new tenants the house rules, and what won't be tolerated. I know you'll think it feels unfriendly, but how else do you explain that you don't want to live with someone who parties midweek, and likes inviting half the pub back once the landlord shuts the door? If you are clear upfront, then the people who WANT a house like that can politely say it is not for them and go find the party house.

spirit

Wobblydeb wrote: »

But people do feel uncomfortable. You, JoannaLodger and Tufter don't want to go into the lounge when he's there. If I was JoannaLodger I would have left already. Your neighbours are uncomfortable and not enjoying peace and quiet in their homes.

All I am suggesting is that setting boundaries early will actually encourage the more immature tenants to behave because they get a swift lesson early on that selfish behaviour won't be tolerated. They'll either shape up, or move out. You've tried the gently gently approach, and got months of annoying behaviour as a result. I genuinely believe you'd have had a more pleasant 6 months if you'd been firmer earlier.

I understand that you don't want to become someone's mum, and that not every tenant will be so inconsidrate (thankfully!). But what are you going to do if you get another character like this?

Personally I'd prefer to try a bit more weeding out by explaining to new tenants the house rules, and what won't be tolerated. I know you'll think it feels unfriendly, but how else do you explain that you don't want to live with someone who parties midweek, and likes inviting half the pub back once the landlord shuts the door? If you are clear upfront, then the people who WANT a house like that can politely say it is not for them and go find the party house.

^^

what she said :T

Mallotum_X

Personally I wouldnt have given him so much time from notice to him leaving, hes taken the p155 so he would have been out.

But agree you shoul dhave made it clear what the problems were, although sometimes its easier to just get rid without an argument.

Goodluck with the next lodger!

Sensible_Jess

Whilst I can agree with some of the points made by the above posters, it's not so easy when you're the one having to put it into action!

Quite frankly, B-L, you've had a lot on your plate this year, what with redundancy, living away from home in the week, a new job and all the travelling you do. (and that's not to mention the crash....). I'm not surprised that you don't feel like 'laying down the law' to lodgers who are supposed to behave like responsible adults when they're living with you.

If BigBruvLodger had acted like this when he first moved in, I'm sure it would have been a different story from B_L, but it's been over a period of time that it's deteriorated to this level.

I wish you the best if ending this sorry saga and I hope that he leaves quietly!
S_J

Yorkie1

Is there a reason why you haven't kicked the GF out and asked for her keys back?

Badger_Lady

Yorkie1 wrote: »

Is there a reason why you haven't kicked the GF out and asked for her keys back?

I'm pretty sure now that she doesn't have her own keys... she's been left alone in the house and she's borrowed BigGuns' keys (both naughty!) but I've seen no evidence of her having her own set.

I feel kinda sorry for her - she doesn't have to answer to me, her BF does. Yes she's a stranger in my house but she's an invited stranger and I have no direct beef with her.

And it's not long to go!

Ellie2758

Has he gone yet?

Badger_Lady

Ellie2758 wrote: »

Has he gone yet?

Temporarily!

GF's father turned up earlier to collect them both and drive them to her 'home' for the weekend.

Poor JoannaLodger opened the door and got very confused (English not being her first language, and GF's first name sounding very similar to mine!).

Loanranger

Wondering if GF's family home allows smoking?
If you were really mean, and I know you're not dear B_L, you would get the locks changed this weekend...

Badger_Lady

Unfortunately I'm not there to do it! I'm in San Francisco.