Big Badger House (aka Noisy Lodger) HE'S GONE!

Badger_Lady

I did get a fright just as I was leaving last night... BigBruv and Joanna had both gone to work so I relaxed and did some work. This work included a miaowing war with a vocal neighbourhood cat who came visiting.

Just as I was packing the car up, a face appeared inside my house :eek: It was only the bloody GF, there on her own.

If he ever had a fighting chance of staying, it's sooooo over.

Thank goodness, the next time I go there it'll be his leaving day.

spirit

Hmnn,

I think that part of the problem B_L is that you've not told him clearly what the problem is (unless I have missed something?)

Telling him that your lifestyles don't match does not tell him that he is doing anything wrong IMHO. You need to tell him that he is being evicted because he has broken fundamental house rules - i.e. smoking in the house, visitors, noise, cleanliness etc etc.

If you don't tell him straight then a) he'll not improve his behaviour and b) will do the same things at his next gaf, because he'll not know what has been unacceptable.

Hinting to men never works in my experience, you have to spell it out to them.

Badger_Lady

spirit wrote: »

I think that part of the problem B_L is that you've not told him clearly what the problem is (unless I have missed something?)

But I did send him a copy of the house rules to sign, a week before giving him notice. It specified no smoking and no unaccompanied guests and he replied "yeah no problem".

Surely he's not thick enough to fail to associate the two..?

poppysarah

Badger_Lady wrote: »

But I did send him a copy of the house rules to sign, a week before giving him notice. It specified no smoking and no unaccompanied guests and he replied "yeah no problem".

Surely he's not thick enough to fail to associate the two..?

He's been an Rse and you've done the very worst thing to him, so I imagine his braincell is thinking that 'i may as well carry on'

PasturesNew

Badger_Lady wrote: »

Thank goodness, the next time I go there it'll be his leaving day.

Ah yes, or Morning After the Leaving Party, as it's known...

spirit

Badger_Lady wrote: »

But I did send him a copy of the house rules to sign, a week before giving him notice. It specified no smoking and no unaccompanied guests and he replied "yeah no problem".

Surely he's not thick enough to fail to associate the two..?

of course he's thick enough. you do need to spell it out to him.

Wobblydeb

Badger_Lady wrote: »

Just as I was packing the car up, a face appeared inside my house :eek: It was only the bloody GF, there on her own.

So..... what did you say to her? If you said nothing, then I am not surprised your rules are not being followed.

If you're not going to have this kind of bother with tenants in the future, you need to be willing to face the confrontation early in the tenancy. People will try and bend rules, but if someone tries, then you've got to nip it in the bud early on .... and I'm not talking about sending notes or texts, or emailing a list of rules. I'm talking about storming into the lounge and removing the ashtray, or when you spot the GF say "What the h*ll are YOU doing here?! Get out of my house when your boyfriend isn't around and if you've got a key hand it over now!"

Otherwise you're complicit in the trouble....

Badger_Lady

Wobblydeb, while I see your point, what I really don't want is to be somebody's parent (particularly when that somebody is the same age as me!). And I don't want to live in a house with a hostile atmosphere or where people feel uncomfortable.

If I started storming around shouting at people, then they would act like children in need of discipline. And if that's in their nature, then they can just !!!!!! off 'cos it's not my job to raise them as respectful grown ups.

I would like to share my home with people like me, who treat the home like it's theirs (not their parents'), who look after it and take care to befriend those around them. It's happened plenty of times before, and once this manchild has vacated it'll happen again

BigAunty

Who thinks that Badger will come back to find the lodger hasn't vacated, compliance not being one of this strong points?

hellokitty08

Can i come and live with you Badger? I dont need a room in Wales, but it sounds just like the type of place I would love to live. I would be the best lodger ever. I would have to be able to bring Ninja the cat though.

I am 28 and I agree with your whole view point, however I do realise that finding mature people can be a struggle.

I do sometimes think everyones life calls for a bit of stomping and storming. My opinion is if you dont tell them, sometimes they really just dont know!