dads g/f wont give us his stuff

margaretclare

Thanks, Paparika. My thoughts exactly.

My present husband has 2 ex-wives, has 2 children from the first of those ex-marriages. If he dies before me obviously I shall involve his children and grandchildren - we get on well with them - but I can't imagine having an ex-wife at his funeral. Perish the thought!! He would turn in his grave, as they say - he'd come back to haunt me, if that happened.

When his second divorce was going through he had an acute infection following a knee replacement and was transferred from the orthopaedic specialist hospital to a general hospital for emergency treatment. Someone suggested I should inform his soon-to-be-ex because 'after all, you're not his wife'. She would have been the very last person he wanted to see turning up at his bedside, and a similar situation to the one being discussed might have arisen had he died, except that his children would have been on my side.

If there are debts there can be NO legacy. Most wills say 'after my just debts and testamentary expenses' - that means debts and expenses connected with administering the will, his executors. The remainder of his estate could have been shared out according to the will, but that's the remainder - if there are debts then there IS no remainder!

I am a bit puzzled when you say 'we didn't get on', and then you say 'so what, he is our dad'. Well, pity you hadn't remembered that while he was alive.

elona

hev

I think I am a similar age to you - getting worried because I did understand the OP!!!!:eek:

Everyone has jumped on the OP for her post and I agree that it sounds awful but maybe money or a "bequest" to them means that they were not forgotten and is a symbol of a relationship that they wish that they had had!

Chollita

ForDad wrote: »

not that bothered about pics as wasnt close to him we dont believe she should have that house.

I was going to post 'sorry for your loss' until I read this.

Seems like your only loss is financial and that your dad's partner is mourning him while you are only mourning what you were hoping to inherit.

I hope this is a wind-up.

PS Basic adult literacy classes are, I believe, free - they would be very useful to you in many aspects of life.

melancholly

elona wrote: »

hev

I think I am a similar age to you - getting worried because I did understand the OP!!!!:eek:

Everyone has jumped on the OP for her post and I agree that it sounds awful but maybe money or a "bequest" to them means that they were not forgotten and is a symbol of a relationship that they wish that they had had!

bless you for seeing the best in the situation - all i read was 'i don't like my dad's new partner and i want some money'.

it also sounds like it really isn't about the OPs dad dying as such, it's about lots of long running family arguements about a relationship breakdown and the death is being used as a situation to manipulate people and try to 'win', with inheritance being the prize. trying to get at a recently widowed woman really is low - however bad the situation has been in the past, now isn't the time for that kind of behaviour!

having such a strong sense of entitlement from someone who has been ignored for multiple years just seems bizaree to me!

Diamond78

When my dad died, it was a shock to me.Although I had no contact with him from the age of 8 till my late teens,he was still my father. I knew my dad had my photos from when i was a child and that is the only thing I wanted so I could show and give to my son. When I went to my dads house, she told me she had thrown the photo album away.That was that. I never asked any questions about the will. No amount of money can heal a broken heart. From what I know, the wife and my dads son have moved to another country now.
All i wanted was my pictures, something to show my son.

oldMcDonald

ForDad wrote: »

the ring is his old wedding ring.she says dad threw it in the bin and she said it wasnt right to do that and kept it in her jewellery box. i need that money now. she wont talk to us cause my brother took a video of dad dead in hospital to show mum and dad hated mum. not that bothered about pics as wasnt close to him we dont believe she should have that house.

I hope that this has been put badly, otherwise this is possibly the worst post I have ever read on these boards.

If you have consulted a solicitor and they have confirmed all that your fathers girlfriend has told you then you should really stop this now. She has been his partner for 10 years and is grieving for him - please show her some compassion, you have already stated that you were not that close to him so don't want anything sentimental, just financial - obviously the money is not there.

Read some of the above posts again, definitely the one by Pastures New (#42), and then move on with your life.

geekgirl

ForDad wrote: »

no wind up. im sorry not very good at writing. my brother said to use spellchecker in word first so i try to do this right.

I think that is a good idea. If you are not used to writing much at all it is sometimes difficult to get over what you are trying to say.

People here will try and help if you can get your message across. Its just some are not used to the way you are writing.

I think you should take hev's advice, go and find out about the deeds, you should be able to work forward from there. But you may find out that it is true that his gf will end up with the lot. If that's the case try not to be bitter but save your energy for the good memories of your dad. Good luck.

LadyMorticia

Diamond78 wrote: »

When my dad died, it was a shock to me.Although I had no contact with him from the age of 8 till my late teens,he was still my father. I knew my dad had my photos from when i was a child and that is the only thing I wanted so I could show and give to my son. When I went to my dads house, she told me she had thrown the photo album away.That was that. I never asked any questions about the will. No amount of money can heal a broken heart. From what I know, the wife and my dads son have moved to another country now.
All i wanted was my pictures, something to show my son.

That's so sad.

Diamond78

LadyMorticia wrote: »

That's so sad.

Hi Anni, I know hun. When my mum and dad split up, my mum left everything behind and we moved away. I saw the photo album when I found my dad in 1996 so I knew he had the album of me when I was a child.Pictures of me and my brother who has a different dad to mine. Photos are so precious. It made me mad that she done that but I could not do anything about it. I have no pictures what so ever from when I was a child, so I make sure that I take lots of pictures of my son and I will treasure them foreever.x

alwaysonthego_2

Good golly! I think that you should leave this poor woman to grieve. She was with your father for ten years and made him happy, please have more repect for your father's memory. Your mother should be in the background, not in the limelight!