dads g/f wont give us his stuff

PasturesNew

With a lack of formal detail, it is most likely that when they bought the house together I'll repeat that BOUGHT THE HOUSE TOGETHER ... that their solicitor would have advised them about what to do if one should die. And it would appear that they bought the house TOGETHER in such a way (as is normal) that if one of them dies, the other one gets the whole house.

Now, your dad didn't expect to die. None of us do. But that's just the way it goes. At the time they bought the house TOGETHER they both signed the agreement. If she had died your dad would have got it all.

So, it's HER house and she's not to pack her crap up and get out at all.

In fact, you are harrassing and bullying a widow. Which isn't nice.

Now, your dad had things in the house that belonged to him. And you'd like some of that. plzthx.

Yes PLZTHX is what you should be doing.

I figure from the tone of your posting that you probably went in there all guns blazing and were an utter horror to her.

So. Sit down, take a deep breath and now find a way to be all nice and apologetic and say that you really would like your dad's things as reminders of him.

But bear in mind, she was living with him for 10 years. And these things will have even more special meaning to her. His tatty jumper to you is your dad's tatty jumper; to her it's the jumper he bought when they went out one day and it rained and they rushed into a bar and sat laughing about things all afternoon and he pulled out the newly bought jumper and started making origami out of it ... and touching it will bring those memories back.

So back off and treat other people as you would wish to be treated.

You're acting like some chav scum. Stop it.

LadyMorticia

cause we didnt have any money. mum said its right we go behind herse she wasnt his wife so why should she go in the line before us. everyones up her bum cause she wrote this speach at his funeral and everyone was laughing and saying how good it were. it was a load of crap about stuff he used to say an that she thinks she knows him better than anyone.

I think I smell a bit of resentment....

Peakma

Surely this has got to be a wind up.
If not op,learn to speak in English,then learn to write in English,try to gain some morals and respect for other human beings,and I'm sorry but I think you are a money grabbing moron,and your Father had a lucky escape in not seeing you for the final 2 years of his life.
Grr this is why I don't usually respond to such posts,because they wind me up, which is why I believe it is a wind up.And I feel compelled to say my piece,then I end up sounding really mean....,and feeling all wound up!!!
I just cant believe anyone in there right mind would think that it is alright to conduct themselves in this manner.

PasturesNew

I think I wandered into the Jeremy Kyle Show Online and live...

Steve-o

ForDad wrote: »

cause we didnt have any money.

Just because you did not have any money, it doesn't mean that anyone else has to pay out for you.

Gillianh2

I think the OP just wanted his £1000. he doesnt want photos or mementoes just money:rolleyes:

BTW OP I think it is appalling and in the worst possible taste for your Brother to take a video of your dead father. I also question why on earth your Mother would want to see such a thing.:mad:

To be honest I think this whole thread is a either a wind up or a troll but wanted to voice my disgust.:mad:

margaretclare

ForDad wrote: »

ok I try and do this right. she says the will left us thousand pounds each and there is no money in the account so we not getting it. can we make her pay it. can we go in and take the stuff we want.

How can your late father's partner pay what is said to be your legacy in the will, if there is no money in his account? Where is she supposed to get money from if it doesn't exist?

When people write a will, they may leave a legacy to others, but if there is nothing in the estate i.e. what's left after funeral etc has been paid for, then the legacy can't be paid, can it?

Further, about the house which they bought together in expectation of their coming marriage. A house with joint tenancy belongs to both. If one dies then the other owns 100% of the house. It is your father's partner's house, end of story.

I am a bit mystified by mention of your mum - I assume they were divorced, because he was planning to remarry? A divorce ends a marriage, so your mum is wrong to say she takes precedence over the woman he was planning to marry. And no, there is no reason on this earth why she should have paid for a car and flowers for you. In fact, it's quite common nowadays for people to use their own cars and not to have flowers at a funeral. At my late husband's funeral we had no funeral cars at all, I drove my car behind the hearse, and money was given to charity instead of being wasted on flowers.

I have never in my life heard of a video being taken of a dead person, I think that's absolutely repulsive and revolting.

I take it you did not get on with your late father's partner, but she's bereaved and deserves some sympathy rather than being called a 'witch'. She may be wondering just how she is going to manage for money now she's alone. No, you certainly cannot just go in and take 'stuff' that you want!

I agree with the others. The purpose of writing is to be understood, and that means writing in normal English that most of us can comprehend.

margaretclare

ForDad wrote: »

cause we didnt have any money. mum said its right we go behind herse she wasnt his wife so why should she go in the line before us. everyones up her bum cause she wrote this speach at his funeral and everyone was laughing and saying how good it were. it was a load of crap about stuff he used to say an that she thinks she knows him better than anyone.

It's quite possible that she did. From my own experience....sometimes it happens that you meet someone and, from day one, you are on the same wavelength with them.

My second husband and I have been together for 10 1/2 years, married for just over 6 years, and although we both have grown-up families from our earlier marriages, we know each other far better than anyone else.

Your mother obviously feels resentful because she's not his wife any longer, she's the divorced ex-wife, who actually takes precedence behind his fiancee, the woman in his life at present, whereas your mother is the past.

You really do express yourself elegantly: 'everyone's up her bum'. Charming.

andyrules

Not once have you mentioned how much you are grieving for your Dad.

Paparika

when my ex hubbies dies........

I won't expect anything, we had a son together, maybe he will get something....
Importantly the ex moved on and is now in a relationship with someone else, she might get it all, the point is ..... he moved on, not connected to me at all, we have a child, thats it.

I wouldn't expect anything, i certainly wouldn't expect his girlfriend to pay for all of the funeral and flowers for me.

I think you just want justification for your rude behaviour, its all about me me me with you, show some compassion,


This woman has just lost her man, his children from a previous marriage are being vultures and wants everything they can get their hands on, think about what it would be like if you were in her shoes.


Maybe you dad did have debts, maybe his girlfriend did pay for the funeral, now wasn't that nice of her, if left to you i suspect you would of gone to the benefit agency to see if they would pay for it.... am i right?