Needing a major vent!

jay11_2

I second pinkfizz, spot on.

I know you've probably heard it many times but you do NOT want your son growing up like this "that's how dad treats mum, ergo she/all women, deserve no better", or: "me and mum are worthless cos if we weren't dad would treats us better".

Remember, boys tend to adore and emulate their dads, so OH's treatment of you, and whether he's respectful, will have a huge impact as DS grows up, reinforced by you putting up with it.

((((((hugs)))))) and good luck, love Jay

Rachie_B

sammy_kaye18 wrote: »

pink fizz i love your avatar.



If i talk to him - his answer to everythgin if i ring him to ask him about somethign, or where he is cos hes late back or gone off to do somethign and not mentioned it his reply is - 'im 28 !!!!!!'. So that sounds like somethign i hear all too often and now i think thats about right - he is !!!!!!!g 28 - im 23 and yet im more responsible and grown up than he is.

My escape fund will take me time to get together though is the only downside - ill have £100 in it next month after hes paid me my money at the end of the month. I think it would be prehaps easier to ask him to leave - he keeps threatening that he has a mate who will let him stay with him for free so maybe he should just sod of there and he can be a lad then and then im free to do my own thing, save for a house nearer my family and then i can get on with it for mine and my sons sake.

Belfast girl 23 - i do love him btu there is only so much carp you can put up witha dn it grates on you after so long. His mum is a push over - as nice as she is and i love her to bits but she is a softie and gives in easier than i do - hes her blue eyed boy. She bails him out at every opportunity adn if im whinging about him being rubbish with money or that hes alwasy nagging me because the hosue isnt immaculate (hello 3 year old and a jack russell?) she will openly say 'thats my fault'. but she wont back me up in much she jsut gives in - he has her round his little finger

call his bluff then

he will soon see how good he has it with you !!

do you WANT him in your life ? or just your sons ?

Nessa56

I agree

Call his bluff

It would be interesting to see the reaction, even if he left, bet your bottom dollar he would soon be back and then you can set the terms and conditions if you want to take him back.
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Dick_here

pinkfizz77 wrote: »

I am a single mum with three kids and no support and I manage very well

Thanks to millions of taxpayers.

Nessa56

!!!!!!_here wrote: »

Thanks to millions of taxpayers.

a bit presumptious.

How do you know she is on benefits?

And if she is, you don't know the circumstances that led to that situation

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and before you say it I am the mother of 2 grown up children and have worked all of my life

jay11_2

!!!!!!_here wrote: »

Thanks to millions of taxpayers.

Bit judgemental isn't that--pinkfizz might work, or have paid oodles in taxes before having children, or plan to work soon, paying loads of taxes then. Who knows what's in someones past or future

Crossed posts

Rachie_B

!!!!!!_here wrote: »

Thanks to millions of taxpayers.

single mum (or dad )doesn't necessarily = on benefits

pinkfizz77

actually I am on benefits but why should that make my opinion any less valid or mean I am fair game for attack?
I have been claiming as a single parent since the death of my husband, I have been studying for a degree and am planning to go back to work (yes I have worked) once my kids start nursery
I know that I should not have to justify myself but being on benefits does not mean I am a lazy, workshy scum of the earth!!!!
and anyway, how does attacking me help the OP

jay11_2

You're also working bl...y hard to bring up 3 potential future taxpayers, on your own, as well as improving your situation.

I for one feel that parents/families, whether working, single, or whatever, are seriously undervalued in the UK.

Some people just have to gripe/criticise/moan at others, very sad

Sorry to hear about your husband

Nessa56

pinkfizz77 wrote: »

actually I am on benefits but why should that make my opinion any less valid or mean I am fair game for attack?
I have been claiming as a single parent since the death of my husband, I have been studying for a degree and am planning to go back to work (yes I have worked) once my kids start nursery
I know that I should not have to justify myself but being on benefits does not mean I am a lazy, workshy scum of the earth!!!!
and anyway, how does attacking me help the OP

Exactly, well said. :grouphug:

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