Needing a major vent!

irishwench69

Riq wrote: »

Well why do I never meet anyone like you two!
They always hate the games consoles.

How can anyone hate Mario?!

I don't! I've had every Nintendo console since I was a kid - right from the NES through to the SNES, N64 and now the Wii....also have a gameboy.....

Yes, I'm sad Having older brothers was also a big influence though!

sammy_kaye18, thanks for all the updates. I really hope this conversation between the two of you is a long-term thing, and he's not just saying those things. That text was a disgrace, and is NO way to speak to anyone, let alone someone he supposedly loves - the mother of his kid :mad:

IW x

Riq

irishwench69 wrote: »

I don't! I've had every Nintendo console since I was a kid - right from the NES through to the SNES, N64 and now the Wii....also have a gameboy.....

Yes, I'm sad Having older brothers was also a big influence though!

Unfortunately you are neither single or live near me!

Good to hear things are on the up Sammy, lets hope he keeps it up.

pinkpig08

Glad to hear you've managed to clear the air a bit. It takes effort from both sides to make it work, he needs to realise that.

Rachie_B

how are things sammy ?
xx

chardonnay_2

another 2 of your previous threads

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=574539

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=573651&page=2

please read your other threads and ask yourself if he has stuck by any of the previous promises he made.

that text he sent should have been the motivation to get rid of him.

did he go on his night out?

make him pay half of the bills and start saving as much as you can for a secret exit fund, as per your other threads he seems to start treating you like dirt every few months. make sure if there is a next time you can't use the excuse of not having the money to move or pay for a deposit.

misty

I haven't posted on your previous threads and if you really happy I'm glad for you but do you, in your heart of hearts truly believe that things will change this time? or do you think that things will settle down for a few weeks until the next incident and you are back in the same position?

I realise when you post on here you are at a low point and so we may not get a true reflection of the situation on a day to day basis but what is it that makes you stay with him?

He doesn't contribute financially, he doesn't help with the parenting of his children, he wastes money, he is thoughtless and inconsiderate (these are the things you have described) and he said things that are despicable.
Relationships aren't always easy and I think you do have to work at them but it shouldn't all be work - the partner you have should make your life better, easier and more pleasurable - ok not all the time but the most of the time. I wouldn't expect people who don't like me to talk to me the way he spoke (texted) to you.

What are the things he does to make you happy? What is it that makes you love him? How good are they fpr you to keep forgiving him?

I also think to some extent ( and I don't mean full on domestic violence etc) that people are treated how they allow themselves to be treated. He knows that basically he can do what he wants - you will whinge, he will argue, you'll threaten to leave him or kick hi out - he'll apologise - blame it on depression, money, life, the boogie and you'll forgive him and cycle begins all over again.

You can clearly organise your finances, the household and parenting your child very well - why do you think it is acceptable that you are treated like this? You might say it is not acceptable but by letting it continue over and over this is the signal you are giving.

Also think about the message you are giving your child - I know it is preferable for a child to be raised by two parents who are together but by two happy parents. Do you want your child to grow seeing you struggle to make ends meet, being upset whilst their father suits himself and puts you both down the list of his priorities. Sooner or later they will see this situation for themsleves.

You are 23 where do you see yourself in 10 years time? Do you think he will have changed in the long term? You will be 33 then - do you want to have spent half your life with this man?

I'm not having a go at you - I've been there myself and I knew deep down that things wouldn't change or at least only temporarily and each time I thought this is his last chance. I had enough when I had my son - I did not want him growing up in a household where his mother was treated that way - I did not want him to see that behaviour or see the effect it has.

Financially it is tough as a single parent - but no tougher than having someone who you can't trust financially as a partner - who spends money you can't afford.

I hope things work out for you whatever way you want.