2 boys and want a girl

springchicken

Hi all
This thread reminded me of an article in a paper yesterday.
The family had 9 boys between the ages of 2 and 19 :eek:
What saddens me was their very first baby was a stillborn girl ,which makes me think has mum never gave up trying to regain her daughter.
I was fortunate to have had a boy then girl ,so stopped at two.
However if my first two would of been the same sex I think I would of went for a third but would of stopped at that regardless of the sex.

Stargirl12

i am the youngest of four girls (and an accident!) and my mum had two mc, both boys, one of which was twins.

She never hid the fact that she had wanted a boy, nor the fact that i was an accident, but in more of a 'i always wanted a boy' rather than 'i wished you were a boy' so it didn't change the way i was loved and i never felt like a dissapointment. I think my dad might have felt a little left out as he had also grown up with 3 sisters!

my sisters have all gone on to have lots of kids with 8 girls and two boys in the family, whilst my OH is from a family of all boys (youngest of 3 and all boy cousins) so it's going to be very interesting to see what sex our kids are!

OP - i don't think your wrong to privately hope for a girl

Karensteps

I took DD to the park with OH last week, and we got talking to an old man from Ireland, and he was telling us that his brother and wife always wanted a girl and kept on trying until they got one. End result - 9 boys and a girl:eek:

sharronloves2spend

Just a quick reply and i havn't read through the thread completely, so apologies if repeated. We had three adorable boys and had decided to have a fourth baby, after thinking i would like a girl i bought a book called 'choose the sex of your baby, the natural way' by hazel chesterman-philips. I read the book completly then got to work ahm, nine months later our beautiful baby girl was born. She is five now and i can honestly say that she has brought a different dimension to the family. Obviously had she been a boy he would have been loved just as much.
Love sharron

arthur_dent_2

My friend finally got the little girl she was after on her sixth attempt:)

mhe

sharon - i think you may have to give us a few tips!!!!

I think one of the things that upset me the most when i lost my 2 babies was the dismissive way lots of people reacted to it. "You obviously cant carry girls" was 1 comment. Until youve been forced into giving birth to a dead baby you really have no idea how heart wrenching an act it is and then to find out it was the daughter you longed for - i still cry at the thought of it now and its 3 years ago - i dont think the feelings will ever leave me. None of my 3 sons are unwanted, unloved or resented for being a boy. However i feel bereaved by the loss of my girl - but everyone expects you to get over a MC (however late) as you "never knew the baby" (to quote more kind comments i recieved) I would try for a forth time and if it were a boy i would still love him but would continue to privately mourn the longing for a daughter. LIke the OP these feelings are not shared with many people - hubby and 1 close friend only - my DSs dont even know about their sister as yet - may tell them when they get older but they were only little at the time.

*Louise*

mhe wrote: »

Until youve been forced into giving birth to a dead baby you really have no idea how heart wrenching an act it is and then to find out it was the daughter you longed for - i still cry at the thought of it now and its 3 years ago.

I know what you mean :sad:


It never gets easier....you just learn to cope.


(((HUGS))) :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

sharronloves2spend

mhe-I'll do my best to try and explain!!! The theory is that male sperm (xy) swims faster than the female sperm(xx) althought the xy sperm swims slower therfore has more longevity. it's all about timing of your cycle, For a girl you have to have sex everyday up untill about day nine of your cycle,if you have sex after this you must use contraception(this assumes you ovulate on day 14 and have a 28 day cycle). The xy sperm would have raced to fertilised the egg but as you have not ovulated they perish leaving the xx sperm slowly swimming away and reaching the egg just as it is ovulated. For a boy you must have infrequent sex untill day 13 and 14 when you ovulate. There was loads of statistics in the book, and scientific stuff to back it all up. the author advises to study your cycle so you know when you ovulate. I have a regualar 28 day cycle so it was easy for me to know all of this. Phew!!! hope that makes sense! if you want to pm me feel free!! Love Sharron

**curlywurly**

Poppy, I have read most of your thread and feel compelled to add my opinion for what it's worth. Good luck in getting your girl, and don't take ANY notice of anyone who is being judgmental about it. You are entitled to your feelings. I was desperate for a girl, and was lucky. If I had had a boy, I would have loved him the same, but I would have tried once more for a girl. It's not shameful in any way. The whole "you should just be grateful if they are healthy, have ten toes, ten fingers" etc goes without saying and doesn't need repeating to you as a reason for criticising your feelings. You feel how you feel. You are brave enough to say so. Those who truly think it doesn't matter are very lucky since (subject to what the poster says above!) it is unfortunately not something within your hands. But many of those who say that are, methinks, protesting too much, and actually if they were honest, would prefer to have a baby of one sex or the other if given the choice. I was sick of feeling guilty for vocalising that I hoped I was having a girl. People say "what are you hoping to have". When you say "I really want a girl" that is not seen as politically correct !

As I have my girl, I am not having any more (accidents aside!) but now everyone has an opinion on how rotten I am for not having another. Not a week goes by without someone telling me that I should have number 2. Is that more acceptable than saying that you would prefer to have a girl? I think not.

I hope you get your girl, but if you don't you are of course already very lucky indeed with what you have got.

Very best of luck!
Curly x

poppyscorner

mhe wrote: »

sharon - i think you may have to give us a few tips!!!!

I think one of the things that upset me the most when i lost my 2 babies was the dismissive way lots of people reacted to it. "You obviously cant carry girls" was 1 comment. Until youve been forced into giving birth to a dead baby you really have no idea how heart wrenching an act it is and then to find out it was the daughter you longed for - i still cry at the thought of it now and its 3 years ago - i dont think the feelings will ever leave me. None of my 3 sons are unwanted, unloved or resented for being a boy. However i feel bereaved by the loss of my girl - but everyone expects you to get over a MC (however late) as you "never knew the baby" (to quote more kind comments i recieved) I would try for a forth time and if it were a boy i would still love him but would continue to privately mourn the longing for a daughter. LIke the OP these feelings are not shared with many people - hubby and 1 close friend only - my DSs dont even know about their sister as yet - may tell them when they get older but they were only little at the time.

I just wanted to say I can relate to everything you say and I lost my daughter 6yrs ago (28 02 2002).
and the comments yes they all ring true 'gone to a better place' 'the time wasn't right' 'you were never meant to have her it was gods mistake to give her too you thats why he took her back' and some still say the silly things the loss of your child is devastating and takes you to a whole new world choosing coffins funeral music readings etc etc when you should be celebrating and I would have been equally devastated had I have lost a son.
I did initially share the fact that I would've liked a daughter and was accused of trying to replace the one I lost so I keep quiet and its a thought I occasionally share with hubby. xx