Not sure what to think ? My Teen DD?!

robpw2

nice to see you trust your daughter enough to view her text messages . Sometimes people who sneak around looking at messages get a nasty shock.
would you be happy if she was to check your messages?

piratess

Id be more than happy for my Daughter to look thro my phone! and she does often for the music on it! .......

robpw2 ......... I checked her phone because she is my daughter! because she is only 14! and it was the aggreement we had when she had it for xmas that i could check it when i wanted to to which she AGREED! ...

try reading the whole thread before adding your twopenneth! .. as i have stated this in one of the earlier threads!

sticher

And i would not say that i was rebellious i just knew my own mind and had the confidence to make this clear to boys and friends that tried to encourage me to smoke, do drugs etc. And in the end they respected my opinion.

That is good - unfortunately, not everyone has this confidence and some people feel that because everyone else is doing something, so should they.



And for the record not every1 who has sex under the age of 16 is a "sl&g" or is stupid. Like i said before its all part of growing and will happen at some point in time.

I don't think anyone has said that someone having sex before the age of 16 is a 'sl&g' or stupid - just growing up too quickly (IMO). It is all very well saying it is part of growing up, but as has been said above, in many cases where pregnancies result, it is the grandparents who have to care for both the child and the mother - NOT so grown up then.

Edit to add: to those saying you shouldn't check your child's phone - why not? my son looks through my phone. I am not a controlling parent, but prefer to gently steer my children towards the right path. When it comes to something that could be life changing such as s3x which could result in a pregnancy, then sometimes you do have to take a firmer stance - I don't want my children (and that is what they are at 14) becoming parents before they have had a life of their own

Spendless

sticher wrote: »

I've done this answer a couple of times. I suppose it depends in what way you mean. Being very babyish for their years a few years back has meant that whilst the rest of persons peers were into boyfriends and girlfriends, the opposite sex wasn't interested- so in that way yes.

I have to say that I think this is good. I am all for preserving a child's innocence for as long as possible and if it does stop teenage pregnancies, then maybe this is the the way to go?

As long as you're preapred for any other consequences by keeping someone 'young' for their years. eg 2 years ago I was at college with someone who stood up and said her greatest acheivement in the last week was catching a bus alone. She was 23, with a partner and 2 kids.:eek:

sticher

someone who stood up and said her greatest acheivement in the last week was catching a bus alone. She was 23, with a partner and 2 kids.:eek:

I think that is a very extreme case though don't you?

I would say that my son is quite 'young' for his age re relationships BUT he has travelled happily alone on buses for years (to secondary school, etc) and is VERY grown up in other ways as are many of his friends.

There are other boys of his age who have been allowed as much freedom as they please to do what they like and are up to all sorts and to be honest I would not want to meet some of them on a dark night.

Spendless

sticher wrote: »

I would say that my son is quite 'young' for his age re relationships BUT he has travelled happily alone on buses for years (to secondary school, etc) and is VERY grown up in other ways as are many of his friends.

I think that's different. You are not talking about keeping them young in every aspect, whereas I am. Not being allowed to drink coffee is another example, though there was no objection to them sitting in a room full of people chain smoking.:rolleyes:

Jayne_Carrentals

Seems to me that some of you guys think its 1 extreme or the other. "Babying" or letting kids do wot they please.Surely there is an in between. Its true kids are growing up quicker but i'm sure this discussion was being had 50 years ago. Teen pregnancy and teen promiscuity has been drama-tised by the media, the vast majority of the teen population are sensible young adult who know what is right and what is wrong. Its actually a fact that teen pregnancy is declining (and by the way the the term "teen pregnancy" that is used by the media and the statistics that they quote are for pregnancies under the age of 20).
Its the nature of teen's to want to keep things from parents but i think having a open (well as open as possible) relationship with kids (like piratess obviously does) can only be agood thing, smothering children and calling it protecting them is not allowing them to develop theor own personality's as human being, their just becoming who you think they should be and not who they want to be. If u show them you have confidence in them to make the right decisions in life i'm sure u wont be disappointed (much lol).
Think i may have gone off on a tangent, sorry!

Spendless

No I don't think it's one way or another. I think when it is you get problems. The last few posts have gone off at a bit of a tangent as Stitcher asked me a question to something I had posted. I didn't really see the problem in posting this as piratess has seemed to resolve the issue with her daughter.

piratess

Spendless ..
I have indeed resolved the matter with my DD ... Im more than happy for the post to highlight other areas of teens growing up I think its good to gain from others experiances as teens are all different and develop veru differently to.

I know a few friend from growing up who have been brought up in various different households! ... some single parent families i was brought up in a strict house! My dad ruled and that was it you didnt argue! ... and my mum well i knew how to wrap her round my finger I think as humanbeings we all develop differently and mature at different levels!

there i go babbling again! anyhow! I just wnated to say im enjoying reading all the responses.

haylibo

Badgerlady here are some stats but the most useful site is down:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/343062.stm
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/12/30/nsexed130.xml

Just do a search.

sounds like it could give some accurate guidance on how to raise your children!

what?