Mooloo's struggle with babies and bills

Js_Other_Half

Sorry to hear you feel so dreadful today, but I am really pleased that you are moving to somewhere better for you all.

<Hugs>

Dazi

Sorry to hear you are not feeling so good today. I think you should give the job up as you have so much else on your plate, but knowing you, you do not want to let them down!
Not posted for a while but have been reading, was really hoping that SS found an answer for you........but it seemed to be all visits and form filling at the end of the day

Have read your later posts about moving back and think you are really great in the way you have thought all this out. Will be nice for you to live near family. As others have said, may be opportunity for DS to start at college and re do, or go for any exams he wanted/needed.

Have been following you for a long time (eeeeek I sound like a stalker) and I really hope you can work things out for you and yours
Keep posting as we all wish you the best and want to know how you are all doings.

xxxx

Savvy_sewing

Hello, its Sunday evening/no night now already.
The doctors gave me a sick note for 2 weeks. I feel so guilty about not being able to do it all anymore. My Mum said that its about time I looked after my health and not others!.
BF and I had a big talk of Friday afternoon. He is not happy about my decision to move, and thinks that if I take on the twins/babies I may be worse then I am at work. He is also worried about my moving away as to the problems it could give within our own relationship. Its hard to explain to him how emotional I really do feel, and how I cannot really see any other option. I do understand his concerns, and I am scarred that I may not be doing the right thing. But at the moment I want to keep the family together and safe as I can. I have to try this idea to move.
As I said earlier, becuase of the bankrupcy I may not get any further then seeing the dream house go by, as the credit check will probably vito that move out completely. (And cost just short of £300 for the privalege!).
DS went to stay with his big sister for the weekend, as I was not really able to cope. I know he had been off College, but I was needing the respite care.
He is back to school tomorrow.
The twins have muddled through with the babies. Listening to what I have had to say and trying to act on it. The kitchen is tidier, becuase of me mostly. But the stress is less on that one room.
Tomorrow will be strange when I dont have to go into work. I am hoping to supervise the twins sorting out the garden and the computer stuff. And make a few phone calls into whether there is an opportunity for DS to get into the school in Towcester or not. My parents have said that DS could stop with them during the week, until we manage to move there, if he can get into the school.? But I am not sure how that will work.
I havent handed in my notice to the landlord incase the credit check ruins it all. (I have told them I am bankrupt and discharged?)
It will be pretty deflating if it is what stops us getting back home. I think the kids will be gutted.
I will have a harder job here sorting them out, in a house that is just not suitable, with only my BF around for support. (which is limited becuase of the relationship between him and my lot. Even though he is trying to help, they are in the your not my dad mode!).
I am tired out, I can hardly use my left arm as I drove both ways to get DS back. Then did the dinner. Struggled with the pans cant lift them when they are empty nevermind full. (Well I can if I want to be in a lot more pain!).
Think that its time to have an early night.
Tomorrow is going to have to be a productive day, at home none the less, as I cant live with the mess the girls have created, and the piles I have created not being here enough to sort it out.

Errata

I hope your credit check is ok for you, so fingers crossed.
As your mental and physical health are not good at the moment could you just sit on your bum for the next two weeks and give the twins orders on what housework/cooking/washing needs to be done next and just watch them do it ? It just seems that they leave a mess and do nothing about it because eventually you sort it all out, which kinda means they're not learning anything much about what absolutely needs doing and can't be left. HTH and good luck.

Savvy_sewing

I am hoping to tell them, and also work alongside them so that I get the house, (and possibly the packing) done, to the standards that I want them to keep things in.
I do not intend to stop work, and then just do all the stuff here. I will try to motivate them to help clear things and throw out the rubbish etc that is not needed. The persuasion of the possibility of moving to this big house, is going to have to be my carrot at the moment.
While I am not at work, I wish I could just sit on my bum, but I will also need to clear out a lot of old paperwork etc. Now that the bankruptcy is Discharged, it means I can destroy any old paperwork from that time. Which is a constant reminder of getting it wrong!!
Yesterday the family came with me to collect DS from Biggest of Mooloos, so I drove passed where the house is. The twins were in awe, and looking at the pictures on the Website of the house, and gardens I think now is the best time to motivate them!.
They also went out with the babies for a walk across the town to see one of thier old school friends. When I went to collect them on the way home with DS their friend said that she would love it if they came back and she would help with the babies. What with the housemate of Biggest of Mooloo's saying she is a Nursery Nurse, and would love to help too... I am looking foreward to the idea of moving even more. Only there will be two major downsides for me. The distance between my BF and the fact that money will be even tighter. But then once I have moved perhaps I can do a bit of MSE ideas in a more structured way that will make up for the difference. And the twins can follow thier want and go and get some part time work to put thier money in the pot.
I am going to take charge of their money some how. Then with an idea my BF came up with, get my Dad, money savvy, to help show them the way to budget.!!
I am feeling optomistic.
Only problem is today my arm is a bit sore, and I have got to drive back as DS came away with the key to Biggest of Mooloo's house! and she needs it. So I am going to run up stairs now, get dressed and drive DS to school and go on to Drop of the key. There is the morning gone, and this afternoon I have the dreaded work out in the Physiotherapy departments gym. Which I really dont feel up to today.!!
Take care all, catch up with it all later.

Errata

You've got an excellent opportunity if you move house to set groundrules for all the kids right from the start. If the twins are capable of earning a living with part time jobs then surely they're capable of pulling their weight around the house now?

Savvy_sewing

I am not really sure that they are capable of earning a lliving with part time jobs. Not managed really to keep one down yet, but they can try. They have to be told to keep trying if that is thier want, as long as the babies are cared for properly. I am not the one to tell them that they cannot do a job. I am trying to tell them that they have it within them to turn thier lives around, and that although I can support I cannot do it for them.
I have been back to Towcester today, got there just after 9am. Left the keys, Biggest of Moo's BF was still asleep so I didnt disturb him. After his operation last week he needs his sleep. What he gets is limited.
So I called around to my parents, picked up the forms and walked into the town, dropped off the papers at the estate agents and went on to the council offices and updated my application for housing. As the original application 2 years ago was just for me and DS. Oh how things change!!
Well its time for me to get the trainers out and go to the gym in physio department. Although today I doubt I will be fit enough to do any of the exercises except maybe the steps and the sit to stands. I dont think my neck or arm will tollerate anything else. What with the drive there and back again on top of yesterdays.
I know for one thing, Driving is not going to be an every day occurance!! No taxi mum for me!! The pain is just too high.
Only driving I will be planning is to visit my BF!! (Hopefully he will also come to visit me, once he calms down about the idea of course. ).
Well better go.

SuziQ

Mooloo you continue to amaze me with your dtermination to keep striving to make things better.
I am sure that you bf -if he really thinks about things from a parent perspective- will understand why you have to do what you feel is right for your children. I wish you could put yourself first but as a mum I fully understand why you are putting the needs of your family ahead of your needs.

I really do hope things start to work out for you.I don't think anyone could have tried harder to find solutions!

Savvy_sewing

Its nearly 8pm the babies are in bed. The family is all home. DS has been given some different tablets from the doctors, to try to stop his feeling of sickness. The twins are still sniping at each other, but I have managed to interviene.
Yesterday evening BF and I got together and continued to talk about the choice of moving. Its tough on us. We made some notes as to how we can help the girls progress, i.e. monthly progress ideas. Just a rough one. But it was a start.
When I got back the place was in a reasonable state, but dishes still had not been done. So it was organise that. DS had his doctors appointment today so we had to go to that this morning.
I went into work with him in tow, and we handed in my Sick note. I was expecting to get the address of the Area Manager and send it, but the Regional Support Manager was there so I gave it to her. We had a chat on the balcony, and I warned her tht I was pretty stressed out life at the moment. I also warned her that I might not be back. She said that I shouldnt make any decisions at the moment, as I was bl**dy good at my job, and that I may want to go back to it if I get the family stuff sorted out. I didnt mention that I was thinking of walking away for good, and moving too boot!!!
This afternoon I started to sort out some of the piles of washing in my room. Did some ironing while Alan Titmarsh and Touch of Frost was on, and then I was planning to go for a bath, but it was delayed becuase I started to sort out some of my old diaries. I have found diary no1 through to no 44, covering 1992 up to part of last year. But there is about 2 missing from about 2005 so I will have to find them, as well as the ones that I have done in the last two properties.!!
I also found the paper work for my pub licence. I want to keep it, as its vallied until 2015, however the plastic one with my picture etc, has been stolen, it was in that tin of all my bits and money etc when it was stolen in July. But perhaps if I need one ever again the paperone will at least help me. (Not that I plan to run another put in this day and age!!)
Twins have started to look at their mountain of DVDs and are packing them up. Looking for the empty cases, and its partners too..... They are terrible at not putting things back in the boxes. (I also noticed there are some still in the wrappers not even watched. ). Must persuade them that they dont need them and that we can Ebay them.
Twin 2 is trying to sort out her Ann Summers, stuff. They have been on the phone wanting the money for the first order. (Stuff she ordered to add to her kit, all against my advice.) Of course she doesnt have the money, and she is still £147 over drawn in the Halifax, and she hasnt had the bank charges added on to that yet. !! Her benefits are being paid into there, so it will be another 2 and a half weeks before she clears the bank.
Ann Summers want some £200 I think she said, or they will take her to court!! Brilliant. She is trying to pack up what she ordered to send back to them. But there is still going to be some stuff she cant send back as they have been used.!! Now I am in the predicament of do I help her, or do I let her suffer. She cant do the parties she has planned if she cant pay for the order she had first. I tried to tell her all that at the beginning, but she wouldnt listen to me. ?
Is it time for me to step in and contact Anne Summers about thier pushy rep who persuaded her to order the stuff to have a better kit, who took her away from her baby for a weekend to push the Anne Summers stuff!!!?
Well I am not going to do anything about it tonight. Tomorrow I will I hope manage to get on to some of the finances.
When I handed in my papers on Monday at the estate agents he said it would take 72 hours to find out. So thats what is praying on my mind at the moment.
Time to log off. Things to do.

Savvy_sewing

Oh God, twins have gone out to buy some more babywipes and to get some fresh air for the babies. They should have been back by now.
I just answered the phone to Yes Credit. wanting twin2. I told her that I hope she was not going ot offer my daughter a loan as she has learning difficulties and does not understand the money system. The woman said that she is 19 and is her own woman and cannot discuss it with me. So I said its time I went to the TV then. That companies like hers will take advantance of someone with learning difficulties and not listen to the family. This is one of the problems that I am having with Ann Summers. Yesterday evening they said that Twin2 had to pay up £200 odd for the stuff she had ordered to add to her kit. and if its not paid for before next week they wil take her to court. They didnt speak to me, they spoke to twin2 so I am not sure of the exact wordings.
I am sick of telling her that it was not a good idea, and that she cant add to her kit until she has made money. But she didnt understand the process and that representative tht came here was just interested in getting her signed up and on the team to sell the stuff. Time to chase Ann Summers too I think.!!
Still waiting to hear fromt he estate agents as to the results of our application. The stress of waiting is so difficult.