Mooloo's struggle with babies and bills

MiniLaura

Yeah that makes sense, hope things go a bit better this morning

Savvy_sewing

had my shower, eaten some muesli and dressed. playing sing song with BBJ while twin 2 is putting up the travel cot in the spare room. twin 1 still not home neither is DS home.

Savvy_sewing

Right time to assess the damage around the house, and see what I can do within my things, that will make me feel better. I am refusing to do the rest of the housework that they should have done.
I can move my drying upstairs, and I can sort out some paperwork. So thats where I am at the moment.

Js_Other_Half

<hugs>

Please don't be hard on yourself- you've done more than could be expected of you.

Savvy_sewing

I feel as if I have cried a river this morning. I have just spent an hour and a quarter talking to the Social worker that came. She has made copious notes about how i feel, and I gave her a slide show of the mess.!! She has asked me to email two of the pictures to her so that she can show it to her boss. We are going to have a lady come tomorrow for 2 hours and one of Friday for 2 hours. To work along side of the girls to assist them around the home. Then once the bank holiday is over etc the lady should be coming on a regular basis.
She asked if I want them moved, and I have said I dont really know. All I know is that I cannot cope anymore. I have ended up giving her a life history since I had the first breakdown in the early 90's as to where I have been and what I have done etc.
She also said I should go and see a different doctor, and that I should be taking something if I am not on the amytriptiline or what ever it was called.
Do you know, I am exhausted.!! So much for attacking the mess in my sittingroom, etc. I need lunch first, and then I will just have to see. At the moment all I want to do is sleep!!
I feel empty at the moment. I hope to god I have done the right thing. Its so hard to know what to do.

Keeping_Motivated

I don't think it was a case of doing the right or wrong thing I think it was a case of you had NO CHOICE. At this stage there may still be a chance of them helping the girls to keep their babies somehow whereas if you had left it going the way its going and you finally 'cracked' I think they would have had to take emergency measures and goodness knows what they would have been.
And then what would have happened to your DS too, he needs you too and if you crack by hiding the real truth from the social then he would have been failed?

Is the other twin home now? Are they cleaning up the mess yes? Do they even register that you are crumbling and crying all the time?

KM x

Seaxwyn

I am glad the social worker spent that time with you and listened to your side of things. I really hope this results in you getting more support - and some ideas about options for the twins in the longer term.

Savvy_sewing

Twin 1 got home just before 11. I called her and her sister together and showed her a slide show of the pictures I took last night. I told them that I had contacted the social, and that things had to change. They did tidy up the kitchen/sittingroom, and then one lady came from Social at 12. She was supposed to be taking twin2 out to a family centre, but she spent an hour and a quarter in my room with me. I showed her the pictures and she asked me to email a couple of them to her office so that she could explain more easily to the higher archy. She then spoke to both the girls and she reitierated that things had to change. As twin1 is not on her referal list, I have to ring Social Services myself and tell them I am worried about my granddaughter, as they cant do anything without that referral.
DS came back in just after 11. I also showed him the mess, and his part of it. He tidied up his room, and the garden, and is going to do the recycling as soon as the rain stops. At the moment babies are being settled for a nap etc. Then I will ask them to do thier rooms.
The original social worker that I ranted at this morning has just telephoned me to see if I am ok. They want me to go and see any doctor, but I have said I will manage. That if I feel this low tomorrow I will see a different doctor, but if I feel stronger I will wait to see my own doctor.
I have MSN's my Mum and let them know what I am doing. (They go away tomorrow for a week).
Tonight I am going to see my BF and get away from this mess./stress and try and relax and recharge my batteries to come home in the morning and to start a fresh day.
I admit that today is probably a write off. I am exhausted and so emotional today. My shoulders are tight and the arm is quite painful. I need to do my exercises and get the flow back into the arm.

Keeping_Motivated

Today isn't a write off coz today MAY be the day that you have finally got through to Social Services and if it is then it will have been the MOST productive day you have had in a long time.

As for the Docs I agree you should go and see the emergency doctor, maybe by doing that they will prioritise you higher for the counselling. I am not saying Counselling is easy to come by but it has progressed alot since 1990 when you last tried to get some. You need someone to offload to and get some things in order in your mind please try and see the doc before next week.

What area do you live in? Have they no voluntary services in your area for counselling?

What was the twins reaction to the slide show? Where they void of emotion as you usually describe them?

KM x

Savvy_sewing

Right time to grit my teeth and make that phone call and get Twin1 referred. I better make sure that I have the tissues at hand. !:o