Mooloo's struggle with babies and bills

minimoneysaver

Lisa* That was a really helpful post. I love it when people offer advise as well as support. It takes lots of time to create a post and shows that people really do care about others. I have been on some threads where I have seen awful bullying happening. How nice that this thread is the polar opposite to that.

Savvy_sewing

OH, on the downside, BBJ has some bruises on his arm. I asked how it was done and have been told by several people (that were staying over the weekend), they say the baby's father picking him up by the arm and also smacking him. I am horrified. I only went out for a walk with my BF and there was DS, his mate, and both the girls boyfriends here. I didnt think that the father would do anything on his contact. He is definately too rough with the baby, and I have just spoken to our Social worker, to report it, myself before someone else does, and I have with her, decided that we must stop the baby from going to his father, or having contact unless it is supervised. This is going to cause a massive problem with his family, just as I was getting a reasonable report and routine going. However I cannot have him pick the baby up by his arm, or smack him if he is doing something wrong. The baby was only playing in the dirt in the garden. Dont all babies do that?
What next I ask myself.
On the good side of the conversation is that the Social Worker was positive and agreed that I cannot do it all myself anymore, and was positive that she will get a place for Twin2 in New Horizons, and possibly twin1 will be following. But they wanted to know what happens if one flat comes up before the others. It has been obvious from the start that twin2 is in more need then twin1. (Just).
Time for me to re try the Welfare Rights and see if they are open this time. If not I will need to get somebodyelse to help me fill in my DLA form as I didnt get it on my last claim.

Errata

But they wanted to know what happens if one flat comes up before the others.

I think the only sensible response to that question is that you have given them your moving date, your new accommodation is only big enough for your and your son, so social services have to figure out what's going to happen - not you.

The baby's injuries must be very distressing and may well give the health visitors evidence that their instruction that you should not leave the twins and the babies on their own was the correct one and they may be involved in any investigation. It won't be easy for you.

lisa*_5

Mooloo I wish I was down your way so I could help you with your form as it sounds really infuriating that Welfare Rights always appear to be closed. Is it the local council Welfare Rights Team that you are trying to contact or Citizens Advice?

Savvy_sewing

Errata wrote: »

I think the only sensible response to that question is that you have given them your moving date, your new accommodation is only big enough for your and your son, so social services have to figure out what's going to happen - not you.

The baby's injuries must be very distressing and may well give the health visitors evidence that their instruction that you should not leave the twins and the babies on their own was the correct one and they may be involved in any investigation. It won't be easy for you.

It is not the girls that are the problem there, it is the heavy handed way that the father is. Even though he has been told that he is not to smack the child, he did. But the marks are definately finger marks from him lifting him by the arm, and not appropriately as he should do. Yes its going to get even tougher. But we know that it was the father, and we have several witnesses that were in the garden at the time. We have already reported bruises on the baby before, that were consistant with finger marks.! No I am not happy about things.
I am just going to see my parents. However I will have to drive, I cant walk today. Its just too far.

Jo4

Oh Mooloo, I do hope the move to the cottage is the answer to your & your familys problems. I do wish you the best, it is the least you deserve after all you have been through. :A

Keeping_Motivated

Mooloo I would take pictures of the bruising so you can prove it to his family if need be.

Does your daughter defend her son when the father mistreats him like this or is she afraid of him? Does she have enough emotion to realise that if it gets to the stage of bruising the little boy must be in pain when his father handles him in this was, not just physically but psychologically? Obviously you and I are aware that this is wrong I just wondered what your daughters take on it is?

Good luck with welfare rights.

Savvy_sewing

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Mooloo I would take pictures of the bruising so you can prove it to his family if need be.

Does your daughter defend her son when the father mistreats him like this or is she afraid of him? Does she have enough emotion to realise that if it gets to the stage of bruising the little boy must be in pain when his father handles him in this was, not just physically but psychologically? Obviously you and I are aware that this is wrong I just wondered what your daughters take on it is?

Good luck with welfare rights.

Yes my daughter does try to tell him, but yes, she is not forceful enough with him as she is afraid of him. Others around at the time also said "we dont smack in this house" his reply was "I do". Hence why I am not going to let him go to the other family on Friday, and it is going to cause an uproar. !Looks like my easter is going to be a difficult one. I was hoping to spend some time with BF, but if the Dad is angry, he will come here I have absolutely no doubt!. I am going to ask the Social worker to tell them its a no go. Even I am chicken when it comes to his temper!.
Welfare rights, were engaged for the whole of the morning. (Feel I have now wasted a morning, trying to get through. Next session is now tomorrow PM> ).
Some one has kindly sent me a link to DIAL and I am going to see if I can get help through them tomorrow when they open. As per usual when I am able to contact they are shut!!!

I am about to go and take the twins into town, with the babies, so twin2 can get her glasses and I can visit the bank. I doubt I will be fit for anything else today after that as it will take all my effort to walk from the carpark to the bank. Luckily there is a bench outside I can stop for a rest before I walk back to the car!.

Savvy_sewing

Well I am back from the drive into town. Exhausted as I knew I would be. Twin 2 has got her glasses and can see better again. I banked my housing benefit cheques, but twin1 forgot to bring hers!! Grrrr.
We got milk and break in Morrisons (as we used thier carpark). Twin 1 paid for it, although I did plan too. She also bought me some carnations. Which twin2 tried to give me while I was driving the car back? Ah well I think they are trying to appologise to me. It was a nice thought. But twin2 was given her money and went off and bought a DVD when I wasnt looking!. It seems that money will just slip through her hands no matter what!.

My mum has given me some Discs about Crafts. She thinks that when I am in the cottage it will be good for me to use my talents again.! I must admit I will enjoy making my own curtains, and cushions etc. As the carpet in the cottage is cream/beige and the walls the proverbial magnolia, and my sofa is cream, I will be able to add colour with the curtains, cushions, and window seat cushions that I will make. Granted they will take me quite a while to do, as I cannot sew for long. But at least I can leave a machine up as there wont be little fingers to dabble in the pin box when I am not looking.!
Twin 1 asked me what things she would need when she moves, and I said we would have to see, but not to worry that I will make sure they have what they need, as long as they dont waste thier money between now and then!.
Thank goodness we have £1 shops and 99p ones!. Although I would prefer to use what we have got, and what I can get second hand first!.

shaz_mum_of__2

Oh mooloo

Well done on putting yourself (and ds)first it sounds like you feel a bit more positive about the move and relinquishing care of the babies

I hope that everything works out as you want


Shaz