Mooloo's struggle with babies and bills

jm2926

Hi Mooloo,

I also read your thread regularly, but haven't posted before because I had no practical advice to offer, but felt I had to say you've done your best. I can't believe how much you've put into this. Most people wouldn't have wanted to - or had the strength to even if they wanted.

Hopefully now social services will have to assist the girls and babies.

Wishing you the strength to get through the next few months and into the cottage with your son.

Hardup_Hester

Hi Mooloo
I have only admiration for you that you have carried on as long as you have. You have not let your daughters down, you have been let down, badly. Good luck.
Hester

lavidaloca

Hi another longtime lurker here and another who hasn't posted before because I didn't have any practical advice. You shouldn't feel guilty as you have done the very best you could for the girls given the circumstances and lack of help from the authorities. Good luck in your new home.

Errata

Good luck from me to you all. I hope things work out and house moves and new places for the twins and babies are all co-ordinated.

oystercatcher

Another one who has been lurking and reading avidly, wishing I could come and help...

Good luck Mooloo I too think you are making the best decision for all concerned. You're not totally abandoning the twins and grandchildren, it's just a new chapter in all of your lives. You'll still be able to see them and support them but they will also have outside help and you will have a quiet retreat to return to.

You've been amazingly strong over the last year or so and I'm sure you will continue to be so but in a different way and from a little further back!

Hope everything goes well over the next couple of months.

Keep us posted

Oystercatcher

Savvy_Sue

Have to say I agree with everyone else, I've been worried about your DS for a while and the effect all this must have been having on him, hopefully this will give him a chance to be himself, rather than part of a huge heap of problems. I know you've done your very best for everyone, and you've been let down. I really hope this all works out. Keep posting!

lisa*_5

Hi, just wanted to let you know that you could possibly qualify for 2 homes payment of Local Housing Allowance. This means that you may be able to get rent paid for both houses at the same time. This is because you have an unavoidable overlap. Due to your change in circumstances you have been forced to find a more suitable (affordable) property and to secure your new property you have to move in straight away, therefore you cannot give your old landlord the notice that he requires. Benefit may be paid for up to 4 week on your old home. Please note that for this to be considered you have to have moved into your new home.

Also you could apply for Discretionary Housing Payment for the shortfall between the Local Housing Allowance that you are entitled to and the cost of the rent when the girls leave and you loose their contribution. You certainly have the right type of circumstance to fulfill the requirements for Discretionary Housing Payment IMO.

Also just want to echo many of the other posters and say how much I admire you.

SuziQ

Mooloo I have just caught up on your posts and was another one on tears because I know why you feel guilty-but also know that you have no reason. You have persevered so much lomger than most would have-even people without their own health issues! I feel you are correct that this cottage is a huge step forward for you-and particularly for DS. I do so hope the poster above me is correct and you can get the ovelapping rent paid for you.

God bless you for trying so hard Mooloo!

Savvy_sewing

Gosh, I couldnt sleep very well, have been awake now for over an hour. (two now).
Decided to see if MSE was back up and running. Wasnt sure how long it was going to be off.
THANKYOU EVERYONE for your input. It is a great relief to me that all the posts have been positive.
On Saturday afternoon my BF came over to see me. We went for a walk (to my detriment now! Oh my joints!!!), and I told him about the cottage, (I had mentioned that I was going to move etc, but only via text messages on Friday afternoon really). He was not interested.
As I had not discussed it with him, then he didnt want to know about it. I was gutted, but decided not to push, as when I came to Towcester he and I nearly split up. I dont want that.
He was supportive in otherways, sort of. He was glad that it was my decision and nobodyelses, and says that the twins would have had to fly the nest eventually. He also agreed that it was best for me to make a move, before I was left with this big house.
If I had waited for Social Services to move the twins, then looked for somewhere else, giving 2 months notice would have been too much for me to pay, and I would not have then had the deposit for a place of my own then!.

The twins have not said very much. Both have now got "boyfriends" and they are talking about helping them look for somewhere to live etc, (even though I have told them that Social Services were on the case.).
I am trying to be positive with them, and encouraging them into the mode that this is an adventure and that they can do this.
As mentioned, I am not going to be abandoning them, I just want to be a normal granny and be able to visit, be visited, but hand them back at the end of the visit. I could never abandon my family completely. I am trying to do what will be the best for us all. If I am unwell I will be no good to anyone.
DS deserves to be able to have a normal teenagers lie in, and not be woken at 6.ish in the morning with screaming babies. (and so do I?). I still have a six seater car, so I can still take them out and about on occasions. When I am feeling well enough.

The strangest thing is that last night, when i was writing my diary, I started to feel excited about moving to the cottage. I can actually visualise bits and pieces of our furniture in the cottage. The only thing is, dispite all my moving, I am a great horder! So there is so much for me to downsize again!, even more then before. It is amazing how much I have amassed over the last 3 years since I lost the pub!. I only came out of there with a few basic bits of furniture, that went into BF's house, and a couple of car loads of personal stuff!!. Mind you, I will have to go through the personal stuff and down size. Some of it is still in boxes to this day. So I dont need them. There is not going to be much space in the cottage after having lived in these big houses for such a long time.
I will look into the housing benefit side of things. Thank you for that.
My plan was to just pay for the cottage for the month of May, to stay here with the family, and move the bits and pieces DS and I want by car, and then work my way around this place dividing up what the girls may need etc. This would give the Social enough time to actually put the moves for the girls into place. (I hope!). I am going to put the information I gave the social on the phone, into writing and get it posted off to them, so that they know for definite and not thinking that I was just having a rant on Friday.
I hope that I have made the right decision, I am feeling much more positive about my decision at the moment, and on reflection over the weekend, I feel that it is. There has been no major drama here thank goodness. The girls have been their usual selves. We will see what happens as the weeks unfold, and I get myself organised to move. If they help then I know I will manage. If they dont help, then we will know that they are not happy!.
Now I need to run down the freezers etc and do a bit of a store cupboard challenge.
I will need to cancel sky, as its the twins that watch that mostly. Think DS and I will manage with the free view.
I will have to contact the energy providers and ask if they will accept me paying off the bill over time. If not I will need to see if I can get help from the Social Fund.? Never been in a position to have done that, and dont want to be in debt. That is my main problem. The final bills. But I will remain positive, and I will get my deposit back from this house, (I hope). So I know that my Dad will not mind if he doesnt get that back.
My parents were very positive about this for me.
I will take consolation in that. As was Biggest of Mooloo, who by the way, is definitely back with her BF and gloriously happy again.
Now its hours since I have been awake, time to go and make a cup of tea, and see if my joints will take me up and down the stairs today.
Once again, thankyou one and all for the positive vibes, it has certainly helped me with my decision.
Mooloo

Seaxwyn

Hi Mooloo, I haven't read your thread for a while but just caught up with the latest developments and I've glad you've come to a decision. You have struggled heroically to keep looking after everyone, despite your pain and disabilities, so you don't have to feel any kind of failure. I hope things work out well for everyone.