Please Help! Im only 19!

Kevicho

deehill wrote: »

Hi Guys,


First off, please dont judge me. I have made some mistakes and i am fully aware of what i have done. This is why i have come on here to get some help



Basicly...

I have a salary of £1100 a month.

I have a credit card with £5100 on it, and i havnt made a payment on it for 2 months due to leaving my old job.

I now have a job and this is where i need help.

I have a problem, My parents dont fully approve of me having a girlfriend at the moment, so they dont know. But she lives in bristol. I live in surrey. I have a serious problem, i miss her so much, that i just have to see her every week. Now take this into account.

I pay her mobile, because she is in education at the moment and cant pay for one herself.

I pay £100 a month for that, main reason being it worked out cheaper to get the full package.

I pay £50 in petrol for going down to see her

I pay £55 a night for a hotel, as her parents dont fully approve of us either (long story)

So each weekend just to see my g/f i spend £160 ish on food and hotels and petrol.

I am now getting calls from debt collectors at my house! My mum and dad know about the credit card, but i also have 3 online payments that are way over due, one for ebay one for paypal and one for my barcleys (other) bacnk account. all amounts to £170

I get on average 3 calls a day at home, and while they dont fully reveal what they are calling about, i think when they say (we have an urgent business call for XXXX can he call us back urgently on XXXXXXX ) then i think they might find out.

I have asked them to call my mobile number instead, bu they guy said it was down to the operator who calls which number he rings.

So can i get them to stop calling me? and send a letter.


Going back to what i was saying as well.

I earn £1100 a month

My spendings are (rufly)

£160/w on seeing my girlfriend (this cannot improve at the moment so this has to stay)

£100 on mobile phone bill (again cant find a better deal, and i am tied in for another 6 months on this contract)

Car parking at work (£120/m)

food (£5/d)

total - £1015

That leaves me with about £85 a month...

I am strugling to pay off mydebts , and my credit card is still over its £4900 limit, in curring more charges every month.

Please help!

I know it might not all be understood but the most important thing it to get them to stop calling my house!

I need help please guys, Im a young fool, who needs some wisdom and advice urgently!

Ok just a few things and have not read the entire thread so

1st thing is to tell these dcas that you want everything in writing in future, that way the calls stop, and you will be able to deal with them in a calm manner.
The 2nd thing to do if you feel you need help is to call the CCCs or payplan, they will deal with these creditors for you, living in a shared house, this will probably mean more privacy, im sure for the meeting you could arrange to meet at a pub or something so the parents are not involved.

The 3rd thing i would say is the mobile bill, im sure you are probably in a contract now, but are you both on the same network, 02 do a £15 per month contract with unlimited calls to other 02 mobiles, this could save you a lot of money, im sure you could downgrade current package to something cheaper and just keep the phone hidden away until the contract expires then cancel it.

As some others have said if the train is cheaper for visits, then you should use that.

Also are you making use of the internet, if you cut down seeing her, get you both a webcam, that way you can "see her" more often, not quite the same, but im sure her smiling face will probably disagree.

Also with this contract is she using it to phone other people, keeping in contact with you is fair enough, but you shouldnt really be funding her social life in fairness, try and get all other numbers blocked, that way she can only call you (i think thats fair).

Also, start taking sandwiches or a precooked sandwich box (ie rice/pasta etc) to work, cutting this expense alone would save you around a 100 pounds a month.

Also car parking, why not use the bus, as i pay 80 a month, saving on petrol and parking, if you use the train as well you may not need the car and can sell it to get that credit card back into its limit.

I dont say this to sound mean, but in my experience some relationships dont work out, and some of my past debt, as been because of me overspending on girls lol

I look back and think what a waste of money lol.

debrag

the best thingto do is read the thread, he has now found an old account which will pay off his cc

BeeUK

Wow!
This sounds exactly like something I SHOULD have written a few years ago...might have saved me a bit of trouble...:rolleyes:

When I was 19, I was madly in love with a girl at university in London, whilst I was working and living up north...I never worked out what each of those weekend trips cost me, but I'd say that £160 was a conservative estimate, besides, these were the years when getting another 0% CC (sorry DC) was easy...(even for a 19 yr old)

I used to pay for her phone as well...but also I'd have her shopping delivered from Tesco, pay for train/plane tickets for us to meet up, eat at the best restaurants in London, fancy hotels, etc....

5 credit cards, 3 store cards and 3 personal loans later...(btw...it didn't last for those interested)

:mad::mad:


You've done the right thing to start looking for help and you'll get some great advice and help here, but...

SORT IT OUT...TODAY!

Or you can pretty much kiss goodbye any sort of normal life for the next decade...I know which option I should have picked...

MYLITTLESISTERLOLA

Tough love

Ok you need a car but how much is it worth & do you need THAT car p.s. is it a diesel or could you swap to one for economy on milage
Can you contact by e-mail from library or perhaps home
Parking place is the nearest but not the cheapest look for other options, how many miles do you commute
I buy enough for a weeks lunch on a Monday, costs about £5 I leave them in work so I don't have soggy sandwiches can make what I want when I feel like it saves a fortune
This is your opportunity to join the real world I understand how difficult it is not seeing G/f but every two weeks & regular e-mails is fair considering your current situation
As for companies calling you at home, if you continue to ignore them they will use any means necessary to contact you
If you want to build a proper future for yourself & your g/f build good credit with a view to a nest of your own, look at it that this is your goal - it'll be worth it in the end
p.s. can g/f get a part-time job like most students to help with expenses

m00head

deehill wrote: »

I pay her mobile, because she is in education at the moment and cant pay for one herself.

I pay £100 a month for that, main reason being it worked out cheaper to get the full package.

Change to Vodafone PAYG and get Vodafone family for £5/month where you can phone each other for up to 60 mins at a time for free - a saving of £95/month. Can also add 2 other mutual friends for no extra cost, or 4 more for £2/month more (£7 altogether).
Over the year that would be a huge saving of £1140 (down from £1200 to £60), although you will both have to pay extra for texts and calls to other people at normal rates - but not that much, surely!

deehill wrote: »

I pay £50 in petrol for going down to see her

Diesel vs Petrol
If you use Shell, then join their Drivers Club loyalty scheme to get money off vouchers, or Airmiles etc.
If you use Tesco petrol stations, get a Clubcard and use the vouchers on 'Clubcard Deals' to get 4 times their face value on things such as RAC breakdown cover.
If you use BP, use a Nectar card although in my experience BP is one of the more expensive petrol stations in the UK, and Nectar points are not worth as much as other loyalty schemes either.

deehill wrote: »

I pay £55 a night for a hotel, as her parents dont fully approve of us either (long story)

Check Travelodge for Last Minute Deals or use their Saver Search
£9 Travelodge summer rooms. Book before 31 Jan!

deehill wrote: »

So each weekend just to see my g/f i spend £160 ish on food and hotels and petrol.

I am now getting calls from debt collectors at my house! My mum and dad know about the credit card, but i also have 3 online payments that are way over due, one for ebay one for paypal and one for my barcleys (other) bacnk account. all amounts to £170

Debt Problems: Where to start, what to do, where to get help
Budget Planner

Reya

Several people have mentioned MSN as a way of keeping in touch (there's also Yahoo!, AIM, Jabber, ICQ, IRC and any other number of IM clients, as I'm sure you're aware) and I'll second/third/fourth/whatever that. I know it's nice to hear each other's voices, and I know that if you don't both have regular access to computers then IM will be more problematic, but it's a free solution, which is what you need right now. Believe me, I've spent hours on AIM with friends, and had some of the best fun I've ever had via that medium (and if you both have a webcam, some of the clients will allow video chat, but be careful of parents hearing you and walking in!)

One word of warning, though: I don't know how computer savvy your parents are, but if you do resort to using an IM client, make sure it's not logging your conversations. Many of them do, by default, and if you're at the stage where you don't want/can't risk your parents finding out about your relationship, then you need to make sure they won't accidentally stumble upon IM chat logs between you and your gf. You can easily Google to find out how to disable chat logging (just as easily as your parents could find out where to find the logs on your PC, if they suspect anything...)

doodlehumlucysmum

i havent read all the posts but sorry if this has been posted allready.

i live in surrey too and my partner used to live in wales( im sure someone else wrote that!) what i used to do was travel by mega bus!

It cost me about 3-4 to get to victoria then £1.50 yes £1.50 to get to wales then i'd get picked up from cardiff. Considering it costs about £4 or £5 to get over the bridge it hinks its quite cheap!

I know that there are other routes available and the even do mega train now.

If they dont go to Bristol then you could always go to cardiff and get a train back out (shorter distance cmaller price) or... you could just get a hotel in cardiff and make it a mini holiday. After all if your paying travel and hotel charges it virtually is a holiday!