Please Help! Im only 19!

deehill

I hope i dont sound too cocky :S

In the way that my problem has been solved so easily :S

I REALLY appreciate what has been said, i have learned, and will save save save every penny!

I will cut what i am spending

And not only that i will dedicate my time to helping others on here.

andromache_2

:hello: I'm 19 and in an LDR too (at uni) so thought I'd just pop in to offer support! My relationship is definitely my main expense. We see each other every weekend as well... I have to work hard to fit in my academic work around it but it's worth it. You've had a lot of good advice already... here's some thoughts on how we cope:
* msn!!!! Possibly to an excessive degree My birthday present from him was a set of webcams, as well, which is really nice and helps us feel much more 'together' as msn can get a little impersonal. When you just have to hear her voice you can use msn video calls and skype. We text each other a bit too; I pay £15 a month contract, he uses free text websites.
* Young Person's Railcard! It depends on where you are and how far apart you are, of course, but definitely check out how much the train fare would be with the 1/3 off reduction you get with the card. Failing that, National Express funfares are VERY reasonable (and you can get a Young Person's Coachcard for a tenner too!); for us the train is a little bit more expensive but we figure the time-saving is worth it to help us fit in our academic work - but the coach is definitely worth a look.
* Get lots of food in from the supermarket (Sainsbury's basics for me ) rather than eating out - it's crazy to spend so much on eating out every weekend! (I assume that's how you manage to spend so much?) We split the costs of the train and the food in half; I'm on a tightish budget yet still manage this so surely your gf could contribute something, e.g. buying the food?
* Focus on shared goals... as people have said, if you see this relationship lasting, you're only making things harder for yourselves for when you want to live together in the future. Our short-term goal is saving up for two months' travelling together in the summer :j and long-term for a house deposit when we graduate. (I know, I know, everyone's shaking their heads and saying there's no way we'll last that long since we're only 19! ) During the holidays we don't get much private time together due to being back at home and a few times this xmas were close to saying, 'screw it, we'll pay for a hostel just for tonight,' but then when we realise that we're just taking money away from our travel plans in the summer we deal with it... does that make sense?

Sorry I haven't been able to add much in the way of practical advice to the excellent replies you have already had, but just thought I'd share my experience and say that I feel for you and it looks like the steps you are taking already will go a long way towards making the costs of your relationship more reasonable. I hope your respective families come round soon - that would make your life much easier. And congrats on the windfall!!! Don't think my parents would forget about £2000 they had put away in a savings account, but you never know :rotfl:

deehill

andromache wrote: »

:hello: I'm 19 and in an LDR too (at uni) so thought I'd just pop in to offer support! My relationship is definitely my main expense. We see each other every weekend as well... I have to work hard to fit in my academic work around it but it's worth it. You've had a lot of good advice already... here's some thoughts on how we cope:
* msn!!!! Possibly to an excessive degree My birthday present from him was a set of webcams, as well, which is really nice and helps us feel much more 'together' as msn can get a little impersonal. When you just have to hear her voice you can use msn video calls and skype. We text each other a bit too; I pay £15 a month contract, he uses free text websites.
* Young Person's Railcard! It depends on where you are and how far apart you are, of course, but definitely check out how much the train fare would be with the 1/3 off reduction you get with the card. Failing that, National Express funfares are VERY reasonable (and you can get a Young Person's Coachcard for a tenner too!); for us the train is a little bit more expensive but we figure the time-saving is worth it to help us fit in our academic work - but the coach is definitely worth a look.
* Get lots of food in from the supermarket (Sainsbury's basics for me ) rather than eating out - it's crazy to spend so much on eating out every weekend! (I assume that's how you manage to spend so much?) We split the costs of the train and the food in half; I'm on a tightish budget yet still manage this so surely your gf could contribute something, e.g. buying the food?
* Focus on shared goals... as people have said, if you see this relationship lasting, you're only making things harder for yourselves for when you want to live together in the future. Our short-term goal is saving up for two months' travelling together in the summer :j and long-term for a house deposit when we graduate. (I know, I know, everyone's shaking their heads and saying there's no way we'll last that long since we're only 19! ) During the holidays we don't get much private time together due to being back at home and a few times this xmas were close to saying, 'screw it, we'll pay for a hostel just for tonight,' but then when we realise that we're just taking money away from our travel plans in the summer we deal with it... does that make sense?

Sorry I haven't been able to add much in the way of practical advice to the excellent replies you have already had, but just thought I'd share my experience and say that I feel for you and it looks like the steps you are taking already will go a long way towards making the costs of your relationship more reasonable. I hope your respective families come round soon - that would make your life much easier. And congrats on the windfall!!! Don't think my parents would forget about £2000 they had put away in a savings account, but you never know :rotfl:

Thanks for all this Im glad you guys are still together, and i dont care what some people say, young love can last!

My mum and dad met when they were 17 and are now 53 :P

marksandsparksgal

In additon to the other brill advice on this, I'd just like to say, long distance can and does work, I am a prime example. Before I moved here myself and the BF had been dating just over a year, and it'll be 2 years in June, and we're coping fine with the distance (me being in Germany him in Essex lol). As others have said, Skype is invaluable, hearing and seeing the other person really does make it easier!

thefuturesbright_2

In 7 hours you have probably just gone from feeling at a massive low to being on cloud 9.Congratulations.

My reccomendations:

Only see the missus once every 2 weeks or get her to come to you in the missing weeks if she doesn't like it.

Have you or your parents got any books/dvds/cds they don't want? if so put them on amazon,even if they only sell for a penny you will make something on the postage.

Have you tried matched betting or daily clicking? Both can up your income substantially espicially matched betting - there is a whole forum dedicated to it on here.

If you need help with any of the above please PM me(except the girlfriend bit!)

kpey

deehill - fastest turnaround EVER. Brilliant!

I LOVE this forum it makes such a difference to people! :T

(Land_of)_Maz

Wow! What a turnaround in fortunes!!

Were you talking to your dad about the debt when he remembered the savings account? That is certainly Serendipity of the highest order.

Please use this money sensibly as suggested above. Maybe put a teeny tiny bit aside to treat GF but tell her from here on in you two are tightening your belt for the benefit of your collective future.

DFW is not a flash in the pan, one day wonder... it's a way of life so don't lose focus!! I will be checking!


Ooooh and Citroen C4 coupe, nice!

HeadInSand_2

The girl's taking the pee out of you, at these young ages it's very possible she'll drop you like a hot potato within 12 months leaving you feeling very daft indeed.

neverdespairgirl

deehill wrote: »

I have a salary of £1100 a month.

That's a good income. But on your spending, what about rent to your parents, car tax, servicing, MOT, clothes, etc?

deehill wrote: »

I pay £50 in petrol for going down to see her

I pay £55 a night for a hotel, as her parents dont fully approve of us either (long story)

I'm not going to tell you not to go. But you are spending silly amounts of money each weekend, and you can cut that right down, and still see her every weekend!

I did a quick search on the national rail website, and this weekend you could go from Guildford to Bristol for £19.80 on a young person's railcard. Not only a massive saving on petrol, it's more relaxing, and saves costs of wear and tear on your car as well.

You can stay at the Bristol Backpackers Hostel for £14 a night, or the Youth Hostel for £20 a night. If you really must stay in a hotel, the Clifton Hotel is £38 a night this weekend, and the Oakfield Hotel is £35 a night.

You certainly don't need to be spending a fortune on eating out, and you can't afford it anyway. The important thing is to see your gf, not spend money, right? So give yourself a spending money budget of £20 for the weekend.

This way, you get to see her every weekend, for £80 or so a week, or £320 a month.

neverdespairgirl

andromache wrote: »

Our short-term goal is saving up for two months' travelling together in the summer :j and long-term for a house deposit when we graduate. (I know, I know, everyone's shaking their heads and saying there's no way we'll last that long since we're only 19! )

I can't say that - I moved in with my other half when he was 19, and I was 20, and I'm now 30 and we're still together, with a 2 year old son!