Please Help! Im only 19!

Burlesque_Babe

The power of young love!! I've certainly been there (in the dim and distant past!!!)..........sigh.........wonderful on one hand and sooooooo painful on the other (remembering back to being apart from the ex in the holidays for a few weeks at a time - counting the days - dear me.........!!)

Seriously though, I think, for now, it is necessary to cut the visiting to fortnightly - at the most and it should maybe be monthly ideally. Look at booking ahead for a cheap Travelodge for the summer so you have something to look forward to. There are some £9 rooms going at the moment for the summer months if you can find one near by. Food out when together doesn't have to be that expensive - nothing more romantic than a bag of chips in the car with the radio as background music!

Is your GF a Uni student? Could she not make any kind of contribution from her grant? If she is 18, is there any chance she could do some part time work to help towards the costs?

Although living together might seem a solution, I really don't think it would be - long term. The costs of living together - rent, electric, water, gas, food, Tv license as well as all the 'stuff' that goes on top - car, travel, petrol, MOT etc etc etc could lead to another unhappy situation.

You need to put the brakes on unfortunately and really look at your situation.

You can't afford to pay her phone bill - just because you want to - can't she use a phone box - or get a PAYG - play.com have a Motorola for £8 at the moment and I've just bought one from Tesco for the car with a Value sim in it which meant that the phone was free AND it has £20 credit!!

You mention about depression when you are apart - I would advise making an appointment with your GP or if you need someone to talk to, the Samaritans are there 24 hours a day for you.

And so are we - we can help you get out of this situation at any time without it spiralling downwards - you've realised you're in a hole and we can help you climb out of it.

deehill

im at work now so i had better get off but if you guys can keep responding i will get back on tonight at home!

It all helps!

debrag

is your girlfriend getting the max she can from student loand & grants?

deehill

and i really do appreciate all of this, i am amazed at the support and i only joined today!

elop_htuos

How about your gf coming to see you even if its just one week a month? Im sure she would be willing to do that? Or even if you scale it down like seeing her every once two weeks. It sound like your living beyond your means here and yes, i do sound like such an old person saying that lol. Are there no cheaper hotels in the area?
If you just think about scaling the visits down and get bk on track with your finances then im sure the quality of time that you have with her will be much better. If she's worth it then im sure she will understand your situation.
It may be worth you signing upto the telephone preference service this will eventually stop the calls. Type TPS into google and should come up its free and will stop your name being passed on to other companies.

Good Luck..

elop_htuos

And another thing, instead of using phone so much texting, try msn? If you have access to net? Easier to have convo. then texting and much more immediate response so the same conv. doesnt take like an hr lol

PasturesNew

As I see it, your GF is costing you a fortune.

If she has a PC get her to download Skype free and you do the same - you can sit and chat online for free all night every night for free.

I'd look at only seeing her once a month - but making it for a proper 4-day break. That way you get to spend quality time with her but much cheaper.

Also - investigate cheaper hotels (deals). Get a travel lodge type of room and take your own mini oven, doing a supermarket shopping trip on the way to get a couple of pizzas and some drinks/snacks so you aren't eating out all the time. A travel lodge room with the "do not disturb" sign on the doorknob would be like your own little flat for 4 days.

For car parking - £120 sounds a lot but it's £6 per day. Which in many areas is the only choice. However, there are other options:

1] have a look into the websites where you pay to park in people's driveways. http://www.letmepark.com/ is one (I just looked up one where I live and a bloke wants £10/week). Check out a number of areas and see what connecting public transport there is to get to/from those spaces. Also http://www.youcanpark.com/

2] see if there are any park & ride systems. Even if you have to drive another 5 miles out of your way it might work.

What job do you do that you need your car for work? Why are your employers not paying for this parking then?

(Land_of)_Maz

Or you could let your GF read this thread and maybe she will see where we are all coming from......

poppett

deehill wrote: »

So each weekend just to see my g/f i spend £160 ish on food and hotels and petrol.


£160/w on seeing my girlfriend (this cannot improve at the moment so this has to stay)

Not meaning to sound harsh at all but how about cutting down your visits to once a fortnight or once a month? My DH was in the forces and before we got our married quarters and I moved to be with him, he was miles away from me. Once a month I would travel to see him and it made things all the more special for us. We stayed in a cheap but homely B&B for the weekend and still managed to go out for a few drinks/meal. The anticipation of seeing him again after our time apart was lovely. I think she can live 14 days without you and another thing...if she is in education as you say, I'm sure she could be doing her assignments/study on the weekends you don't see her.

Do you two not have MSN to keep in touch with and then cut down on your monthly phone bills?

I hope you manage to sort this out without getting further into the red. Good luck.

wannabespendthrift

Just read quickly your thread - the phones - what about two Orange PAYG sims for your phones. You need to spend £10 on each sim per month (so £20 overall) and then Orange let you have free mobile to mobile calls every night for the following month after 7.00 p.m.? So long as you make sure you put £10 on every month this will always keep you in free evening mobile calls - a LOT better than £100 per month? Theres always SKYPE and I wonder if any of the providers do web texts where they allow you x amount of free texts per month if you send them over the web although MSN is probably more straightforward in that sense.

Travelling down every weekend is KILLING you financially. Have you thought about asking your GF if any of her uni friends will let you stay over in their hall flats/private shared houses for a night or two? They may well be prepared to do this if you bung them £20 and arrive with milk and bread? - worth an ask maybe.