Money Moral Dilemma: How do I persuade my children to pay rent once they're home from university?

Jodo

DaveTheRave1000 said:

There is no wonder young people can't afford to buy their own homes with this sort of stuff going on. My parent has never and would never charge any of their kids rent, it's their home too. Whilst contributing to house hold bills seems more fair to me such as their own food, washing and so on but not rent. Just my opinion and each to their own! 

When people talk about ‘rent’ for adult children it usually means an amount of money to cover their share of the bills, food etc. I sat down with my daughter and we worked out what a fair amount would be (it is actually on the low side compared to the real costs of running a home) and she pays monthly. If parents don’t insist on some sort of contribution so that the children get used to paying out, how do you think those children will cope when they get a place of their own? Or will they be forever clinging on to their parents?

Jodo

Ed264 said:

You're getting different opinions with this one. All I would say here is that they're possibly up to their neck in debt with university fees.

They may well have debts from their university days but nobody has to pay anything off until they are earning over a certain threshold, unlikely if they have only just graduated.

moneysaverexplorer

@MSE_Sarah reading all the comments to your Money Moral Dilemma question is very eye opening.  Interesting to see the wide range of opinions and supporting reasons. Clearly so many dynamics feeding the views.  Do you know what would be a great response to this..... share this whole thread with your children who have graduated, who are refusing to pay, and ask them what they think.  What side of the fence are they on, and why?

Emmia

moneysaverexplorer said:

@MSE_Sarah reading all the comments to your Money Moral Dilemma question is very eye opening.  Interesting to see the wide range of opinions and supporting reasons. Clearly so many dynamics feeding the views.  Do you know what would be a great response to this..... share this whole thread with your children who have graduated, who are refusing to pay, and ask them what they think.  What side of the fence are they on, and why?

You know that MSE Sarah is a site employee, and not the person with this actual dilemma...

moneysaverexplorer

Oh @Emmia ..... I'm a newbie to Forum chats/posts - I didn't pick up on that?  So for clarity, is this not a real life scenario? I've been sharing my views and advice for what reason?  Am I the only one to discover this - mildly embarassing to say the least?

strawb_shortcake

I found out today that a distant cousin has had their 4 adult children, their spouses and collection of grandchildren all move back home! It is a pretty big house. They've built a couple of small dwellings that some of them live in. But my cousin cooks for 16 every night, I've no idea how they go about charging keep or not but all 10 adults work of some description.

Savvy_Sue

moneysaverexplorer said:

Oh @Emmia ..... I'm a newbie to Forum chats/posts - I didn't pick up on that?  So for clarity, is this not a real life scenario? I've been sharing my views and advice for what reason?  Am I the only one to discover this - mildly embarassing to say the least?

No need to be embarrassed, we all start somewhere.

As time goes by you'll realise that the significant difference between the Dilemmas and most other posts is that the OP NEVER comes back to give more details, explain why the suggestions won't work etc.

MSE has never said whether these are real dilemmas or fabrications / composite situations. The principles behind this particular Dilemma (adult children reluctant to pay rent / how much to charge them) have been hashed and re-hashed on this board, and the range of answers is about what I'd expect. 

archie1411

As others have said - take away the things they won't pay for, including food. Hunger is a great motivator 

Emmia

Savvy_Sue said:

moneysaverexplorer said:

Oh @Emmia ..... I'm a newbie to Forum chats/posts - I didn't pick up on that?  So for clarity, is this not a real life scenario? I've been sharing my views and advice for what reason?  Am I the only one to discover this - mildly embarassing to say the least?

No need to be embarrassed, we all start somewhere.

As time goes by you'll realise that the significant difference between the Dilemmas and most other posts is that the OP NEVER comes back to give more details, explain why the suggestions won't work etc.

MSE has never said whether these are real dilemmas or fabrications / composite situations. The principles behind this particular Dilemma (adult children reluctant to pay rent / how much to charge them) have been hashed and re-hashed on this board, and the range of answers is about what I'd expect. 

I suspect they're composites, there have been a few threads on non paying kids over the last few months.

Pollycat

moneysaverexplorer said:

Oh @Emmia ..... I'm a newbie to Forum chats/posts - I didn't pick up on that?  So for clarity, is this not a real life scenario? I've been sharing my views and advice for what reason?  Am I the only one to discover this - mildly embarassing to say the least?

MSE publish a Money Moral Dilemma every week in the newsletter.

They say:

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

MSE deliberately strip out information so the thread is 'a point of debate'.
There will never be any clarification or questions answered on these MMDs.