Money Moral Dilemma: Should we leave our house solely to our youngest daughter?

PedanticButPractical

Firstly, you need proper financial and legal advice.

But here is a layman's view...

The first thing to do is to ensure whichever of you survives the other is secure.

If the survivor subsequently needs care then the house being in their sole name would probably be counted as an asset to be sold to pay for that care.

So, consider the first to die leaving their half of the house to a trust which states the survivor has the right to stay in it for their life (I think called a Life Rent, or similar), with the children as the trustees (3 or 4? It is not clear whether the one who stays with you has capacity)

That trust - which would then own the first to die's half of the house - could probably also be set up to make the same LifeRent stipulation regarding the youngest child.

The survivor could make a similar stipulation for their half of the house.That should mean that even if the 2nd parent died, the house couldn't be sold from under the remaining child, or if the surviving spouse needed care the house also couldn't be sold. I suppose technically, it could be sold - but there will not be a big market for people looking to buy half a house with a complicated ownership structure!

That way both are protected, and on disposal (death or care for both) the remaining children could inherit and presumably sell and divide the assets.

If course none of that gives anyone any funds in the short term, but something along these lines might be worth exploring.

Nessyjr

If your daughter with additional needs is in receipt of benefits, you need to be careful when it comes to wills. Any money/assets left solely for their benefit can jeopardise their state benefits (depending on which benefits they may be in receipt of). Putting the property into a trust which benefits all of your children should avoid this problem, but it may then raise issues around inheritance tax. Before doing anything, get specialist legal advice, and then sit all of your children down together to discuss what will be the best outcome for everyone

dirtmother

Specialist advice is essential on this or you could put all your children in a very difficult position. (Bear in mind how much time and expense one or more of your other children might incur in providing the support you provide now - even if it is oversight of state or charity provision) 
A crystal ball helps too but they seem hard to get hold of.
But the short answer to your question is no, don't just leave the house to your daughter.

Missy15

PedanticButPractical said:

Firstly, you need proper financial and legal advice.

But here is a layman's view...

The first thing to do is to ensure whichever of you survives the other is secure.

If the survivor subsequently needs care then the house being in their sole name would probably be counted as an asset to be sold to pay for that care.

So, consider the first to die leaving their half of the house to a trust which states the survivor has the right to stay in it for their life (I think called a Life Rent, or similar), with the children as the trustees (3 or 4? It is not clear whether the one who stays with you has capacity)

That trust - which would then own the first to die's half of the house - could probably also be set up to make the same LifeRent stipulation regarding the youngest child.

The survivor could make a similar stipulation for their half of the house.That should mean that even if the 2nd parent died, the house couldn't be sold from under the remaining child, or if the surviving spouse needed care the house also couldn't be sold. I suppose technically, it could be sold - but there will not be a big market for people looking to buy half a house with a complicated ownership structure!

That way both are protected, and on disposal (death or care for both) the remaining children could inherit and presumably sell and divide the assets.

If course none of that gives anyone any funds in the short term, but something along these lines might be worth exploring.

This is very sound advice, who knows what the future will bring for you and your husband,( or you family !) definitely get legal advice, you need to protect your property, from future possible care home needs, you must also protect your individual and joint finances from the same, as if you leave  money to each other, and the other enters a care home it will be go towards your funding.
A solicitor is not cheap, but you need solid advice for your situation, but by doing the above you may be able to leave a financial legacy behind which will help your children.
You also need to bear in mind the 7 year rule can still apply to trusts, so the sooner you sort it out the better.
My parents made over their house to me and my sister, 24 years ago before they went into a care home 2 years ago, we sold the house, but the money had to go back into the trust where it still sits until both have passed away. 

Rd1994

I think you should leave it to all children with a clause that she can live there for as long as she needs 

gothvixen

Leaving it entirely to the youngest is a way of creating a huge fracture in your family. My brother's very wealthy and I'm unable to work due to disability, but there was no question that he wouldn't receive half of our mother's estate when she died last year. Your will should detail the provision for your daughter's care, but your assets should be split equally amongst the 4. I'm a little angry on behalf of the other 3 children that you would even consider showing such unfair bias. They shouldn't have to do without because their sister has additional needs; be the children 6 or 60, parents should never show such complaceny or favouritism. See it as they would - they don't receive a share in your house because you've given it all to the youngest. Can you imagine how they would feel, knowing that you donated their share of your estate to their sister? Leaving a legacy of resentment and bitterness is just wrong.

IvonH

Leave it to all 4 children; putting the quarter for your daughter with special needs in a trust.  As other people have already said, nothing is certain and one of your other children could get sick, lose their job / partner / mental health...  Your daughter is already benefiting from living with you, so she is already gaining more than her siblings.  I wish you well; it can't be easy having an adult child with special needs living with you - I do hope you manage to go on holiday every so often and recharge the batteries.

Silvertabby

Rd1994 said:

I think you should leave it to all children with a clause that she can live there for as long as she needs 

But what if the special needs daughter can't afford the upkeep of the property, or even pay the utility bills etc?  Would the other children be expected to pay?  And for how long?

My situation was a little different.  Just the two of us, and while my sister didn't have special needs, she wasn't in the best of health.

She pursuaded dad to make a death bed Will, leaving the house to her alone because it was her home, and I was married with my own home (albeit with a mortgage at the time).  Dad thought he was doing the right thing - sister would have a roof over her head for the rest of her life, and I would inherit on her death.

I'm still convinced I dodged a bullet.  Had the house been left to the two of us, with my sister having the right to live there for the rest of her life, she would have been constantly demanding money.  Not just for bills, but also for repairs - my dad, bless him, didn't believe in paying someone to do a job that he could bodge himself, so the house was in a very poor state.  She would have demanded £Ks for everything from a complete new damp course, new doors and windows, new bathroom and kitchen and complete redecoration throughout.  On the grounds that it was dad's dying wish that she continued to live there, and the state of the house was making her illness worse.

In the event, she went bankrupt less than 2 years later and lost the lot. 

ripongrammargirl

You don’t say why your youngest child needs extra support, which makes it a bit tricky for appropriate answers. I would agree, and can testify to the fact, that bad things can happen at any time. I certainly didn’t expect what happened to me when I went to work one Tuesday afternoon as a playgroup supervisor- I was fit and healthy until I fell over a football that afternoon, aged 21, and have been disabled ever since (30 years now) and now with loads of other medical problems and disabilities on top. Due to this I have had to have several considerations over the years about what I can/can’t do and how to afford things, especially now I can no longer work. From my point of view I would suggest sitting down with your children- even include the youngest because they can still hear things and it’s good to be included in discussions like this even if they have no ability to input (?)
Ask your children how they feel about it all. Maybe the renters could move into the house and care for their sibling (again unsure what their needs are- are they unable to do anything/ wheelchair bound etc or can they do everyday things and just require supervision?) 
Is the house suitable for long term living or is your daughter going to need extra care and adaptations in the property as she gets older? Might it be better to sell up and split the proceeds equally whilst looking at care facilities for long term accommodation? 

Be careful with benefits as this country has now made it even harder to claim disability- prepare for a situation when disability benefits are abolished.
Also be mindful of being forced to sell up to receive care, inheritance tax and any other ways the government and taxman will take advantage. 

So many questions and so many choices to make but I would definitely start with a proper family discussion about all of this and the long term care of your daughter as their siblings may be unwilling or unable to care for her, especially as they age too and they have their own lives.  When you have had this discussion, ensure it’s all written down with a solicitor sign off and ensure your wills are up to date with Power of Attorneys in place for any future needs. 

Good luck. 

Pennypitstop123

I would most certainly divide it equally between all your children, your child with special needs is never going to be left deserted, in this country we look after disabled and she would never be homeless or living in squalor, she will always have support. Your other three children could encounter difficulties and even if they didn't they are still deserving of their inheritance.