Money Moral Dilemma: Should we leave our house solely to our youngest daughter?

Sea_Shell

Pollycat said:

The originator of this MMD needs proper legal advice, rather than the opinions of random strangers on t'interweb.
It's not just a 'should my Mum contribute to our childcare costs when she's on holiday' type of MMD.
It has very important consequences.
As MSE Rules say:

Don't rely – verify!

Our Forum offers a wealth of MoneySaving wisdom, tips, hints and information both new and historical. However, some of the information changes quickly, is opinion or may be incorrect. We don't verify or take responsibility for what is posted by the community. No two people have the same circumstances or experience and it is up to you to investigate, check and check again before you make any decisions or take any action based on information you glean from our community. Remember, don't rely on what you are reading. Verify it and protect yourself. You are responsible for any action you consequently make.

Well, the team picked it to be commented on, so.....

madbadrob

Silvertabby said:

madbadrob said:

My own ten penneth is the same as most of the rest. Lesaave to all 4 with a lifetime trust of the youngest to live there.  The Trustees could be the children.  Just remember under the inheritance laws if those children in rented accomodation could contest the will on the grounds that they have not been adequately provided for.  So to put in a lifetime trust would probably satisfy this issue

Rob

Under this scenario, who would pay all the youngest daughters bills, on the assumption that she isn't able to earn her own living?

And what's to stop one (or both) of the elder children currently in rented accommodation being evicted?  Would they be able to move into the family home?

My own feeling is that living alone in a (large?) family home wouldn't be the best solution for the younger daughter.  But without full details of her condition, it's impossible to say if she would be better suited to a smaller, assisted living facility, or similar.

We were not asked to look at the scenarios over and above the OP's questions.  We dont know anything about her needs etc so its impossible to give any further suggestions than the ones we have

Rob

madbadrob

Pollycat said:

The originator of this MMD needs proper legal advice, rather than the opinions of random strangers on t'interweb.
It's not just a 'should my Mum contribute to our childcare costs when she's on holiday' type of MMD.
It has very important consequences.
As MSE Rules say:

Don't rely – verify!

Our Forum offers a wealth of MoneySaving wisdom, tips, hints and information both new and historical. However, some of the information changes quickly, is opinion or may be incorrect. We don't verify or take responsibility for what is posted by the community. No two people have the same circumstances or experience and it is up to you to investigate, check and check again before you make any decisions or take any action based on information you glean from our community. Remember, don't rely on what you are reading. Verify it and protect yourself. You are responsible for any action you consequently make.

Very sound advice as well but you fail to consider that some of the people posting on this board may actually work in the fields they are responding on etc.  Anyone asking on these boards I am sure are bright enough to not take everything as red and to check what they have been told.  

Obeeone

Four-way split as nobody knows what the future holds.

CapeTown

My feeling is that you should look for somewhere for your daughter to live now whilst you are both compos mentis.  The shock and pain of losing parents may have a very detrimental effect on her. If you sort her out now, she has a chance to be settled. As is often discussed on this forum, it is better to treat all your children equally.  I know they shouldn't expect an inheritance but neither did they expect a sister with additional needs.

DeathandTaxes4Sure

I have been in a similar situation 3 siblings and step siblings. Our parents left the house, which was by far the biggest asset, to the youngest for the same reasons as stated above.  It caused some friction and mild resentment which could have been avoided had the house been left in trust. That resentment lingers even after 16 years.  Our youngest sibling is now taking early retirement to sell the house, move into cheap accommodation and plans to use the money to have holidays and extensive travel.  She's not able to "read the room" and is oblivious to the feeling of her siblings who have had to work hard for what we have and not had it gifted to us. Although it seems like I'm bitter, I do not have a problem with the situation.

disability_thoughts

A trust is a possible option.  Depends on the extent of the additional needs, if receiving state benefits anything left to her outside o9f a discretionary trust would be means tested!
In fairness to all children, if left out of a will they could challenge the fact all left to one person.  
My disabled sister was left money in Discretionary Trust.  I had to engage a solicitor who had the knowledge and expertise to advise.  Superb lady Lynn Bradey, Wrigley’s solicitor recommended by Mencap.  Well worth the cost.

catprofit

I would leave it to all the children with the provision that the youngest can stay as long as they are able to. Then it will be split equally amongst the four. Just because you make the decision now circumstances can change and you can always change your will to meet the circumstances 

Greengirl24

Another thing to consider is that your daughter, if given sole ownership of your house, may be vulnerable to unscrupulous people who would like to get their hands on such a valuable asset. Is she able to protect herself against them ? 

octopuswobbles

I find myself in this position - not as the parent, but as a child who won’t be a beneficiary. My sibling doesn’t have complex needs, but has never worked or completed education. The other siblings have partners. From my point of view, it’s very hurtful and it is affecting my relationship with my parents. It’s changed the way I view them and the way I think they feel about me. 

It’s not about money - it’s about equity. If my parents chose to leave their entire estate to the dog’s trust or spend it on a round the world cruise, good for them, that is their prerogative. But I don’t believe it’s fair to treat children differently. I can’t comprehend that. The situation of the siblings could change overnight, as many people have said. God forbid death, or illness, or divorce, or job loss. In today’s climate, anyone could find themselves in a very difficult position very quickly. Meanwhile, the other sibling has no worries.