Please god help, 60k in debt and feeling suicidal

elsien

I can’t answer your questions I’m afraid,  I just wanted to say I’m really sorry it’s come to this and the man is an idiot.


Yes it’s a shock to him, yes he needs time to process (although calling it betrayal was a bit strong and I hope you haven’t taken that to heart).
But you don’t just walk out on a life and a young family without giving it time to try to sort things out. 

So as with everything, just take this one step at a time and only deal with what you need to when you need to. 

HampshireH

So sorry to hear your husband has made this decision. It's a coward who walks away from their family over something fixable. Especially when it is something they themselves have contributed to.

booneruk

I echo everyone above. The husband sounds like an idiot with a broken moral compass. You're supposed to break your back for your young family, not extricate yourself at the first sign of trouble, especially for something as petty as a potentially damaged credit file.

However, eleanorl89, you will survive and thrive. You're getting great support from everyone here.

EssexHebridean

Don’t be in any rush to agree to selling the house either - that’s best sorted out in the settlement agreement, particularly allowing you have children. You need to make sure that whatever agreement is reached treats you and the kids fairly - and frankly, allowing for what you have said about your husband so far, that’s best done between professionals as quite honestly I don’t think you can trust him to be in the slightest fair about it. 

Something you probably want to think about doing when you feel ready is go back over bank statements etc to start to make a timeline about the household and family  expenses your inheritance money went to pay, and also the same thing with the debts - those debts need to be taken into account on settlement, again. Having that info ready when you start talking to a solicitor would be useful for you, but at the least, ensure that you are very clear about what was going on with the finances at that stage as bluntly, it’s downright unreasonable. The court will take that into account. 

I am honestly so sorry that you are having to go through this - and you sound incredibly strong in the way you’re coping. Nobody deserves to be quite so poorly treated as you are currently. Please don’t be in any doubt about that whatsoever, will you. 

aviv

You are doing really well in a very difficult situation.Regarding your rent question.

It is important to understand your lenders only have access to the accounts you have with them. They cannot know any financial information (eg money getting into your account from whatever source) nor can they access your money. This is why you were advised to open a new basic, independent bank account.

MFWannabe

I’m so sorry to read this, the man is a complete idiot, especially not taking any responsibility for his share of how the debts occurred and built up 
Anyway you’re right to look at all this later 
Continue to sort out finances and debts following the great advice on here and put your self and your children first x 

EssexHebridean

How’s things going @eleanorl89 ?

kimwp

Hope you are ok Eleanor xx

kimwp

I just saw a video by the legalqueen that children are entitled to housing until 18, so he can't force a sale of the house until then.

Emmia

kimwp said:

I just saw a video by the legalqueen that children are entitled to housing until 18, so he can't force a sale of the house until then.

But "housing" does not necessarily equal the house they're currently living in, they can be housed in a different (smaller?) property. So I wouldn't say this would guarantee the house cannot be sold.