Facing the future alone - care and managing money

Worried_and_alone

Good afternoon,

I am hoping to seek advice please with a future predicament I will find myself in. I am an only child in my late 30s. I have a partner, but no children of my own or other relatives.

I am worrying so much about how I will cope in old age. I have nobody to help me, to take power of attorney or any of the other things a family would do.

I have identified a retirement village I could move to (assuming it still exists at that time). You can start with independent living and then move through the care levels as required. It is expensive, but assuming I don’t live to a ridiculous age (as in well over 100) I shouldn’t run out of money. In today’s figures, I am likely to have around 1.5 million to my name.

But who will be able to manage that money for me? I assume I will be able to find a solicitor. I have no idea of the costs involved or what would happen if the solicitor died before me.

I need to start putting together a plan as I am worrying about this 24/7. It has taken over my life and taken away any happiness in the present moment. I am worried about being old, alone and vulnerable and people taking advantage of me.

Thank you in advance for any advice.  

molerat

I think you are worrying too much.

First priority is to ensure you have enough money for your retirement, pensions & savings etc.

If in later life you are unable to manage your finances and there is no one else to do it the local authority will take over, no need to pay anyone now.

You could spend money getting things in order now then tomorrow walk in front of a bus.

Get on with enjoying your life, plan for if the worst doesn't happen.

LHW99

Just some thoughts, no knowledge:

Firstly, putting things into a bit of perspective (from outside, as no-one can really get inside to help you not to worry) at late 30's, you should, barring accidents have at least 40-50 years to sort this.

Secondly, what does your partner think? Do you trust them enough to discuss it, and maybe make plans together - they may have similar worries, but not to the same extent.

Thirdly, you could (I presume) choose a solicitor firm to help, I don't think you would specifically have a solicitor as a permanent appointment, although one would be named initially.

I presume you could make PoA's, and (by agreement) name the solicitor firm as an attorney (you would need to do it via that firm), and you could then make your wishes known on the forms as to how you would want things to be handled.

Slinky

I can understand the OPs worries. My OH and I have no relatives we could rely on for health or finance LPA should we be unable to cope in old age.

Cobbler_tone

Stress, anxiety and worry are all real, so would never patronise anyone no matter what age they are today. More so considering you say that it is "worrying you 24/7", not a nice place to be.
It sounds as though you have a good projected plan in place to look after yourself to a ripe old age.
You have a partner (hopefully a life partner!) or will have future connections as you navigate life.

The best advice is to make sure whoever you engage with is carefully checked and regulated. Keep your current/future funds in safe hands. If the time is right then formulate a plan with your partner. 
The most important thing is that you can independently look after yourself, or self fund that care. In terms of any worst case scenario, the local authorities would step in to assist you.

I am sure that things won't pan out like that though and do whatever you can to live for today, whilst planning for a comfortable retirement. Try to park those thoughts of retirement villages for now, as your life may look very different in 5, 10, 20, 30 years time and in terms of your finances I am sure you'll find a good independent financial advisor should you need one. 

p00hsticks

Slinky said:

I can understand the OPs worries. My OH and I have no relatives we could rely on for health or finance LPA should we be unable to cope in old age.

My OH and I are the same so I can also sympathise to a certain extent.

However the OP is only in their late 30's, has a partner and is apparently worrying about it '24/7', which in my view is excessive - there are only so many things in life you can plan for and worry about at any one time.

kempiejon

Worrying 24/7? About being predeceased by your solicitor. People are very different aren't we.
When I was in my late 30s I was enjoying myself before thinking about I settling down. Knowing I had a mill coming my way would have upgraded that idea. If you need to have someone look after you putting it out there that a millionaire is looking for someone to love and leave their estate to will garner some interest I'm sure. I see you said you have a partner, could you consider upgrading to a younger one as time marches on?

I do not like this suggestion that people need kids for their old age but could you not think about adding a dependant to your unit? There are lots of versions of family these days and even at 40 there are decades of living left to do..

Cobbler_tone

kempiejon said:

Worrying 24/7? About being predeceased by your solicitor. People are very different aren't we.

They certainly are. My friend worries about going into town shopping. She worries about whether she can park, does she have the right change, has she got enough bags, will it be too busy, what if they don't have the items she wants, what if the car breaks down etc. This is life some people lead constantly and it is exhausting.

Those that have little worries are very lucky, so if someone feels alone and exposed it is understandable but agree that they have a long time to address their concerns.

poseidon1

Worried_and_alone said:

Good afternoon,

I am hoping to seek advice please with a future predicament I will find myself in. I am an only child in my late 30s. I have a partner, but no children of my own or other relatives.

I am worrying so much about how I will cope in old age. I have nobody to help me, to take power of attorney or any of the other things a family would do.

I have identified a retirement village I could move to (assuming it still exists at that time). You can start with independent living and then move through the care levels as required. It is expensive, but assuming I don’t live to a ridiculous age (as in well over 100) I shouldn’t run out of money. In today’s figures, I am likely to have around 1.5 million to my name.

But who will be able to manage that money for me? I assume I will be able to find a solicitor. I have no idea of the costs involved or what would happen if the solicitor died before me.

I need to start putting together a plan as I am worrying about this 24/7. It has taken over my life and taken away any happiness in the present moment. I am worried about being old, alone and vulnerable and people taking advantage of me.

Thank you in advance for any advice.  

I find it significant that although you say you have a partner you seem to perceive yourself as potentially moving into a retirement village alone in future.

Also significant that you are reaching out to anonymous strangers for insights rather than a heart to heart with your present partner.

This suggests despite being in a relationship you don't have confidence that it will last ? If so I can appreciate your concerns for your situation in later life  although a little unusual for someone relatively young.

With no immediate family to provide you a safety net of support and a question mark over your perception of the durability of your current relationship, my sense is some form of one to one counselling to get to roots of your present  insecurity maybe more appropriate right now rather than discussions with a legal professional to try and set up structures , that may never be call upon in the decades to come. Just a thought, which I hope you will not take offence.

Bostonerimus1

I'm in a similar situation to you. I would definitely be careful of retirement villages as they can be very expensive and lock you into expenses you don't foresee. Make a will and educate yourself about finances so you can do as much as possible yourself. As you get older you can take a lot of risk out of your income stream by using annuities, interest and dividends. 

Nebulous2

My life has been spent working in care. At one point I spent time reviewing care arrangements to ensure people were being well looked after. I know one retirement village and it works very well, but it has a minimum age of 50. 

Many people remain able to manage their own affairs throughout their lives, and never need power of attorney. Less than a third of people need a care home. 

Where people do need care there is a comprehensive legal structure in place with checks and balances to ensure people are being well cared for. Solicitors, social workers and nurses all play a part and have a professional responsibility. 

Of course things go wrong, sometimes care isn't as good as it could be, sometimes staff are rushed, and people can slip through the net.

However my overwhelming view is that there is a lot of good care out there, and a lot of compassionate carers working in care roles. I remain optimistic about care services and think they serve most people who need them well.