Facing the future alone - care and managing money

kimwp

Worried_and_alone said:

Thank you everyone. You have all been so kind in your replies. I am feeling very sad again this evening, but comforted by the fact that strangers on the internet would take the time to reach out to me and be so thoughtful and helpful. Thank you. 

I had a big emotional bump earlier in the year thinking about the future and found that a list of fun challenges to do by my next birthday focussed my mind a bit nearer on the more controllable immediate future and also meant I was thinking about fun things. I highly recommend it.

Yorkie1

Please don't forget that if you just want to talk to someone, the Samaritans are there 24/7. You don't need to be in extreme circumstances before you pick up the phone. 
Call 116 123

Worried_and_alone

Thank you @Yorkie1 I think I do need to give them a call. I have spent the whole weekend in bed. I find being asleep to be the only time I get any relief from my worries, but even then they sometimes enter my dreams (or more accurately nightmares). 

LHW99

Could having a diary, and writing down first one good thing that happens each day (really enjoyed breakfast, tried a lovely new type of biscuit...) and then what is worrying you help at all?

Sometimes writing things down can help to put everything in a bit more perspective, particularly if you can look back and think, "yes, good things do happen too".

Worried_and_alone

LHW99 said:

Could having a diary, and writing down first one good thing that happens each day (really enjoyed breakfast, tried a lovely new type of biscuit...) and then what is worrying you help at all?

Sometimes writing things down can help to put everything in a bit more perspective, particularly if you can look back and think, "yes, good things do happen too".

Thank you @LHW99 That is a good idea. I have thought of doing something like a journal and maybe trying to separate in my mind my 'everyday life' and my 'future life' and trying to recognise that they are not the same thing. 

barnstar2077

Not quite the same, but I have found myself feeling like things are not going my way before and put too much emphasis on the negative.  So, instead of just praying about everything I wish I could change, I started to make an effort everyday to list in my head the things that I am grateful for "I am grateful for the roof over my head and the warm meal I can make whenever I want.  Loved seeing my friend today, and how lucky I was to see that beautiful sunrise this morning etc."  It really helps me to put things into perspective and balance the mental books!  :  )

When we are in the thick of it we often lose track of how much in our lives is actually pretty good, and how lucky we really are to be in the top ten percent of people by wealth globally, surrounded by nature, friends, and family.

Cus

Worried_and_alone said:

Thank you for the suggestion. I did try medication earlier in the year. I had no side effects. I don't think I took it for long enough though. I felt sad and worried that my life had come to the point where I felt it was my only option. I think maybe I should try it again though. My anxiety right now is hideous.

Taking medication for an illness, be it diabetes or an anxiety disorder, is logical, not a weakness. It would support you with other treatments, such as therapy.

Cobbler_tone

Cus said:

Worried_and_alone said:

Thank you for the suggestion. I did try medication earlier in the year. I had no side effects. I don't think I took it for long enough though. I felt sad and worried that my life had come to the point where I felt it was my only option. I think maybe I should try it again though. My anxiety right now is hideous.

Taking medication for an illness, be it diabetes or an anxiety disorder, is logical, not a weakness. It would support you with other treatments, such as therapy.

A step outside the 'pension chat'.

Quite often the first step to dealing any mental health illness is to not label it is a 'weakness'. The easy comparison is to that of a broken leg. Illness of the body verses one of the mind. However much stigma remains, it has undoubtedly improved significantly over the past generation.
In many circumstances (I'm sure not all, I'm not a medical professional) medication is needed to address the chemical imbalance and enable the person to tackle the illness. Taking medication is certainly NOT a weakness. The person may feel better by exercise, diet, making changes to address the route causes of the illness by removing stress or at least more rationale thinking, which may require counselling or just talking to those closest to you. I can guarantee that hiding under the duvet, not washing, not eating properly etc will never lead to feeling better, even if it is all you want to do. A bit different to 'having a bad day'.
It may mean 6-12 months of medication (none are magical cures), for others they may need them for longer, sometimes for life.
I've had my own battles for 25 years and can remember just how scary it was all those years ago when I first struggled, when there was very little understanding and appreciation, either personally or from others. I manage far better today than I ever have and the key for me maintaining context, not wasting energy on things you cannot change and stepping up to the things that you can. Firstly, you need to recognise that you need some help and in turn be well enough in yourself to make the positive changes required. E.g. if I am feeling down now, the first thing I do is head out for a walk.

Worried_and_alone

Thank you @Cobbler_tone You are quite right - using medication is not a sign of weakness. Life is tough for all sorts of reasons, and the one or two friends I have opened up to, I have been surprised to hear that they have also used medication at times. 

I wish you all the best too. 

Purplelady65

Worried_and_alone said:

Thank you @Yorkie1 I think I do need to give them a call. I have spent the whole weekend in bed. I find being asleep to be the only time I get any relief from my worries, but even then they sometimes enter my dreams (or more accurately nightmares). 

I’m really sorry to hear you’ve spent the whole weekend in bed in order to find some relief for your anxiety. I would urge you to make an appointment with your GP as soon as possible so you can start to access some support.