Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my ex-fiancée if I can have the engagement ring I gave her back?

Heinous

woolie58 said:

An engagement ring is given in contemplation of a marriage taking place, and is not , as such, a gift. If the marriage is not going to take place then she should return the ring as legally it is yours.

Except that legally it isn't. Legally, it's a gift.

sentient_stardust

What does your financial irresponsibility have to do with your ex? 

Mamaluna

Dear MoneySaver your beautiful children is the most important thing here.  The best for them is a life of peace, happiness, joy, harmony, unity and of course love and protection.  If it is likely that asking for that ring back will create conflict that will affect the little ones well-being, then the ring is not important.  I agree with the comments that say the mother should have returned the ring without you asking, but that is not your issue, it's hers.  I hope this helps you and wish you and your family well 

LightFlare

sentient_stardust said:

What does your financial irresponsibility have to do with your ex? 

well -- some of the debt could have been to purchase the ring with that she's been very pushy about with "oh if you loved me, you'd buy this great big rock for me"

as with all these "Dilemmas" -- theres a lot of detail and background missing that the OP cannot directly answer.

I actually wish MSE would stop them altogether - they never end well and just cause people to be divided and argue

[Deleted User]

No, legally the ring belongs to her.   You gave it to her, you didn't loan it. 

angusc

[Deleted User] said:

No, legally the ring belongs to her.   You gave it to her, you didn't loan it. 

Absolutely right,  you gave her the ring and it now belongs to her.  I'm surprised that Martins Money refused to answer this one, as its nothing to do with a morale dilemma  it's a legal fact.  Just Google it and you will find lots of legal advise about the engagement ring. 

jamesanning

I did a lot of research on this last year. I found that an engagement ring is a contract of impending marriage. ie I give you this ring as a sign of our intention to marry. There for if the marriage is cancelled then the contract has been broken so the ring belongs to you.

from memory of my law gcse ( long time ago ) law of contract you give something then you receive something in exchange. Here you gave the ring as a token to show the intention of marriage, she revoked on her part to marry you in exchange.

if you wanted to buy a loaf of bread and held out £2 to the cashier then you have entering a contract at the point of sale they must provide the bread to complete the contract. If they didn’t hand the bread over you wouldn’t give them the money.

exactly the same 

phillw

Ask for it back, if she refuses then you dodged a bullet and you need to rethink a lot of how you treat her moving forward

phillw

[Deleted User] said:

No, legally the ring belongs to her.   You gave it to her, you didn't loan it. 

Sure, she can also gift it back.

phillw

Mamaluna said:

If it is likely that asking for that ring back will create conflict that will affect the little ones well-being, then the ring is not important. 

So you're saying that the mother will harm the children if he asks for the ring back?