Ex removing his wages.

Cryingemoji

WillPS said:

Cryingemoji said:

Yes, so most of the direct debits are for household bills.

Then there are 'debts' of a credit card (of which I'm only a second card holder) and a loan repayment.  We looked at our credit reports and both of these are showing on his file but not mine..

So the credit card is his, and the loan is also his. Put them aside for the time being as they are his responsibility to then sort out; it sounds as though he is the only one with any ability to service them too.

What household bills are there to pay (type of service and approximate monthly cost please)? Who's name are these each in currently?

How much income to do you personally have? Would you be eligible for any benefits?

This is where it becomes complicated.  He's offered me a deal whereby he gives me £1000 per month towards his share of those debts and I continue to pay them from the joint account.

But I think this will mean I'm not eligible for universal credit.  A quick calculation on a benefits calculator showed this.

The household bills are currently in his name for everything like the utilities, mobiles phones, car insurance, sky etc.  I've worked out that these total approximately £1500 per month.

I have no income and no savings and will be relying on handouts from family.  I'm currently applying for jobs.

Can I say I appreciate so much you taking the time to listen to me, it's such a lot to cope with..

Cryingemoji

elsien said:

Are the two children who are adults working and able to pay their way directly to you? What about child maintenance for the child who is under 18, and what about child benefit?

I think if I were you, I’d be looking at opening up a separate bank account as soon as possible and any income you do get start to be paid into that because if your joint account goes into dispute it could get frozen. Maybe one of the online ones such as Chase or Starling could be easier as a starting point.

Also go onto the benefits board and ask about starting a universal credit claim if you think it’s going to take awhile to get a job, because that isn’t a quick process at the best of times. 

Only one of the two adult children lives at home and they currently do not contribute.  They spend more time at their boyfriends house and will likely move in with them than pay anything at home.

Yes I currently get child benefit of around £96 a month.  He's offered child maintenance of £500 per month.

MattMattMattUK

Cryingemoji said:

elsien said:

Are the two children who are adults working and able to pay their way directly to you? What about child maintenance for the child who is under 18, and what about child benefit?

I think if I were you, I’d be looking at opening up a separate bank account as soon as possible and any income you do get start to be paid into that because if your joint account goes into dispute it could get frozen. Maybe one of the online ones such as Chase or Starling could be easier as a starting point.

Also go onto the benefits board and ask about starting a universal credit claim if you think it’s going to take awhile to get a job, because that isn’t a quick process at the best of times. 

Only one of the two adult children lives at home and they currently do not contribute.  They spend more time at their boyfriends house and will likely move in with them than pay anything at home.

Yes I currently get child benefit of around £96 a month.  He's offered child maintenance of £500 per month.

Have you calculated what the CMS amount would be?

Cryingemoji

Thanks for replying Matt.

He's proposing that he gives me £1000 per month to cover his share of the debts and I keep the joint account but it does feel like he's trying to distance himself from the joint account / responsibilities.

Cryingemoji

Yes, so child maintenance would officially be £300+ but he's offered £500.

theoretica

Having him give you money and then you pay the debts in his name seems a very bad idea - for both of you.  Does he realise he would be leaving his credit record at the mercy of your finances?  Much cleaner to close the joint account and separate everything off one way or the other.

MattMattMattUK

Cryingemoji said:

Thanks for replying Matt.

He's proposing that he gives me £1000 per month to cover his share of the debts and I keep the joint account but it does feel like he's trying to distance himself from the joint account / responsibilities.

How much are the debt repayments? Have you asked him why he will not split off the debts as what he is proposing makes no sense? The bills should be being transfered to te relevant partner and the joint account should be closed. 

You have mentioned money will be tight, so potentially time to cancel things that are not needed such as Sky, getting cheaper broadband and phone packages as they renew, cancelling subscription services if you have multiples etc. to give you as much headroom as possible.

eskbanker

Cryingemoji said:
The household bills are currently in his name for everything like the utilities, mobiles phones, car insurance, sky etc.  I've worked out that these total approximately £1500 per month.

That sounds excessive but difficult to comment meaningfully without more detail - how many of those are costs which you'd continue to incur post-split, e.g. can you realistically afford to run a car, etc?

Cryingemoji

theoretica said:

Having him give you money and then you pay the debts in his name seems a very bad idea - for both of you.  Does he realise he would be leaving his credit record at the mercy of your finances?  Much cleaner to close the joint account and separate everything off one way or the other.

Yes, it doesn't quite sit right with me either. 

From £1000, £540 of it would go towards the minimum payment on these debts leaving me a little left over to pay other bills but I'm not sure it's worth it to keep the joint account going

I'm so confused...

elsien

Cryingemoji said:

Thanks for replying Matt.

He's proposing that he gives me £1000 per month to cover his share of the debts and I keep the joint account but it does feel like he's trying to distance himself from the joint account / responsibilities.

Don’t agree to that. As you say, it will prevent you from claiming any means tested benefits, and if it’s purely to pay the debts, then he can pay the debts directly himself. And if all the direct debits for sky and everything else are in his name, Think about what you need to keep such as utilities, but he needs to look at cancelling the rest of them or transferring them over to where he is moving to. 
For example, is he taking the car with him because if so he’s responsible for the insurance,  not you.

Then start thinking about a proper financial settlement, because if you’ve been married for a long time, the starting point is a 50-50 split, and that will include savings and pensions. So, depending on the debts, what they have been run up for et cetera, there may be negotiations to be had around that trade-off as well.