+++ Whoops! Here comes the cheese! +++

KajiKita

redofromstart said:

Earlier today @Cheery_Daff mentioned the 'down to earth' blog on another diary in relation to slow living and mentioned that recent posts had been about coping with the loss of the authors husband, and I ventured off down a wormhole, but I found it really helpful reading. This post summed it up for me. 

The key bit goes:  'I gave up sitting and thinking about life with Hanno because that’s not how I want to live. I want to be self-reliant and productive. I work all through the day and while I work, I remember sometimes what Hanno and I did together. I realised I had to get on with my life, that Hanno would have expected that and I didn't want to give up. My purpose now is to create the life I want to live in the home I want to stay in. Having a purpose helps me get through many things and it also helps me to keep going. Being thoughtful in all areas of my life, not just housework, helps a lot too. It helps me understand what makes tasks easy or difficult, it helps me decide what I should do and what doesn't matter that much. All actions have consequences, and more importantly, inaction has consequences too. '

That absolutely sums up where I would like to get to.  It was written nearly a year on from the loss of her husband.  That is my gentle, kind to myself non smart target of where I would like to be this time next year.

This absolutely beautiful and I am crying … for you, with you, in honour of your heart-courage … whatever. Very, very proud of you x

KK

greenbee

That's a very positive goal to have.

Being kind to yourself is key, and having a focus that reminds you of what you want the future to look like and what you are working towards is important - even if you're not thinking about it every day (and it's fine for the vision of the future to change too, as you learn more about who you are in the new family dynamic). Short term projects can provide you with distraction by giving you something to immerse yourself in, which you'll need at times - but if they can help you progress to where you want to be, then that's even better.

Don't forget to let yourself have the sad days, the unproductive days, the bad days. We all have them, but sometimes it can be harder to let yourself give in to them when you actually have a real reason to. They're all part of the journey. 

Cheery_Daff

Aw Redo, I'm so glad you found something helpful there, I never even thought to suggest it in relation to your situation. That's a lovely goal to work towards xx

Sun_Addict

That is an awesome goal to work towards. You are an inspiration and if you’ve helped just one person reading your diary going through the same thing then that’s a job well done 👍 

None of us know what’s around the corner, life can turn on a sixpence, I’ve been very close to being in your situation as you know. 

WelshmansDaughter

That’s (mostly) where I am now I can recommend 

EssexHebridean

It’s a really sensible and achievable goal too - not “easy” - but part of it is of course learning the things that work for “you” as an entity now (which also probably incorporates family members) and what needs tweaking, adjusting and changing from what went before to be a better fit for the new shape of your life. It’s obviously not a change anyone would ask for, but learning how to emerge from it strong, capable and undefeated is a pretty smart objective, isn’t it. 

Seasidegal58

The extract made me well up too. I really can't think of anything to add to all the wonderful comments above apart from you're a diamond redo and you will continue to shine. 💎xxx

Cherryfudge

Those are wonderful lines and a wonderful target to keep in front of you.

redofromstart

Thank you everyone, and a Happy New Year to you all.  

Clearing:
I have started by signing back up for Flylady, and joining the decluttering thread.  Also the reverse meal planning, and a January challenge to use up food stuff (partly driven by the need to empty the garage freezer in the absence of functioning electrics). 

Looking after me:
I was inspecting my self in the mirror this morning (as you do) ahead of having my roots done on Friday and actually can see a clear improvement in my skin for using the LED mask.  Trying to keep myself on a routine of using that and the expensive potions and lotions. Need to remember to take my vitamin tablets too.  Back on plan for SW, and actually remembered to put my step tracker on today even if I haven't moved much since.

Planning:
Found my 25 paper diary, and retrieved the project book from upstairs so I know how much I owe the builders once they finish, but also so I can plan out what needs doing.   I will also use my paper diary as a spending record. 

Today:
DS built my new filing cabinet yesterday so I can have a tidy out of my study.  I need the sadmin to hand, but not all over the place depressing me. 

Tomorrow:
Book a skip - mostly for the builders, but also for stuff from the house and garden that cannot go in our household waste.
Make contact with some electricians about the outside power. 

Income:
£26.10 drawn down (cashback and surveys)

LadyWithAPlan

Great that a fellow mse has helped you 

yes to the self care and glad you seeing the led mask helping 

loving the idea of the skip too! What a great motivator to declutter 

hope 2025 is a peaceful healing year for you and your family