+++ Whoops! Here comes the cheese! +++

redofromstart

Thanks

@Sun_Addict you are right, I like to be busy so it is helping me to cope

@greenbee yes you can see the impact now 

I may seem calm but I'm very annoyed with pension companies who can't read the policy and invent numbers, and more so with the one who said I hadn't sent the death cert in response to the email with the death cert clearly pasted at the bottom. Fools!

greenbee

Unfortunately there are a lot of idiots out there. And you're not allowed to tell them how stupid they are. 

Crapita owe my mum a month of my dad's pension, but none of us had the energy to fight for it at the time. They didn't pay his last month's pension (payable in arrears) and then took another 6 weeks to get round to paying her. Luckily I could afford to subsidise her until she had an income. But she should have had a month of his full pension paid. Which is why I now advise people not to rush into notify pension providers. 

redofromstart

I've been chipping away at the various jobs ahead of the funeral. I still haven't done the gov tell us thing, must try and fit that in today. Haven't told the various banks either. The paperwork is a full time job in itself.

What is really good is that the DWP bereavement thing has gone into the bank overnight so I can stop dipping into my ISA when I need to pay the bills.  

Yesterday was mostly spent outside as we have a run of reasonable weather. Weeding, and some tidying done and a bit of planting. Finally went to the local nursery and picked up more compost, a planter with violas and some cheap tulips to go in pots. I still need to clear the polytunnel and greenhouse and do some more weeding.

hair done yesterday afternoon so no longer a badger. My appointment was a few days after the awful event so I had cancelled it but was increasingly salt and pepper grey which was depressing me. Sorted now hurrah. Boys are booked in for Saturday. Even the dog is booked in for a wash and nail clip tomorrow as I'm not even going to try and do that on my own.

this mornings job is to drop off the clothes for mr redo. It's rather surreal choosing an outfit for him to wear in his coffin. I also need to think about what I am going to wear for a cold muddy field funeral in the rain with a dodgy ankle. 

And why am I awake and posting at this time in the morning? The stress is playing havoc with my fibro etc and I forgot to take my tablets last night so my stupid hips are throbbing. I have a dog taking up most of the bed, and the kitten on my feet so it isn't cold and lonely at least. 

Poor dog seems to be finally realising he isn't coming back. There was a motorbike noise yesterday and she ran for the gate. When she realised it wasn't him she went and sat and was shaking. I gave up and sat with her for a bit till she calmed down. When I go out she gets quite stressed now and clings when I come back. Poor girl.

greenbee

Hope you took some pills and went to sleep. I was awake early due to leg pain.. possibly due to treadmill use over the last couple of days. Cats have deserted me (they’re probably enjoying the residual warmth from the fire) so it’s not as warm as I’d like here. In fact, my feet are cold despite bed socks - but I’ve just heard the upstairs heating kick in on pre-heat, so hopefully that will improve.

I hope choosing clothes isn’t too upsetting (in both cases), and that the poor dog isn’t too distressed.

Sun_Addict

Oh redo ☹️ 

Your poor dog, bless her. Our dog pines for Mr SA when he’s not here. When he was in hospital earlier this year she sat on the sofa looking for him the whole time. She wouldn’t come out with me, I had to throw a ball for her in the garden. 

Not a nice job choosing Mr redo’s outfit. I remember having to choose my mum’s. 

I hope you got back to sleep eventually. 

Take care x

Cheery_Daff

Big hugs from me too ((((((()))))))) having to choose an outfit sounds like a really difficult task, and the poor dog 😕 I'm glad the bereavement grant has turned up quickly, that's at least one less thing to worry about i suppose. And it's good that you could get outside in the garden too xx

Greying_Pilgrim

redo - I am so glad that you feel able to keep posting.  Thank you.

And it's good that 'the system' has operated as intended, to at least ease the financial side of things a little.  

Hopefully your hip pain has eased - or at least you've taken your medication by now to calm any flare up.

The bit about the dog..........

Greying X

beanielou

When one of my friends DH died suddenly 10 years ago it took their dog about a month to stop seeking. It was horrible to see. 

Sorry you couldn’t sleep. 

debtfreewannabe321

I hope you got some sleep finally and your pain has subsided ❤️

Poor dog too 😢 

redofromstart

Thank you all.  I did indeed go back to sleep eventually, before being rudely awakened by cats as usual.  The insomnia has been fairly consistent to be honest, the inner dialogue just does not know when to shut up.  

This morning I dropped his clothes off.  More emotional about that than anything else so far.  I dropped off a pile of stuff we wont use at the food bank during a live collection session, I usually go to drop off points rather than the food bank itself and it was heart breaking.  It reminded me just how much the boys and I do have actually.  And also that toiletries are very much needed so I will direct my efforts that way next.  That made me cry too but for very different reasons.  Nobody should have to live like that.

I went to MrL on the way back and got an orange stickered corn fed FR chicken.  Its in the oven and will cover us for the next few days. roast, risotto, soup, and freeze anything that is left. 

Took poor doglet for her shampoo, set and nails.  She was slightly bemused as she had never been left with anyone before but apparently was very good.  She now smells like an old lady, and keeps trying to get away from her own smell.  She is two rooms away but I can still smell her.  Not looking forward to bedtime.  

And it never rains but it pours.  I was going to wash her bedding but the washing machine died a few minutes into the cycle. No spin at all, and the drum will not turn.  Mr Redo would have dismantled, diagnosed and we would either have ordered spares or a replacement.  I've got remove and replace with a new machine booked for Sunday because there are no alternatives round here and stuff needs freshening up for Tuesday for all three of us plus I have very wet dog bedding dripping on the patio.

Positives, Pension 1 have apologised and confirmed that the wrong policy was applied which makes me a little better off for income going forwards. Really upsets me that if I wasn't switched on then they would have got away with it.
Bank 1 have been informed, which also covers the business account. Still haven't done the gov thing.