Watty's Awakening

Baldybear

Sorry to hear about the negative mood. Is your lorry on the road, thinking of can you box up cc and take to a big woods somewhere for a gallop the stress out? If bot that could be a lovely summer plan.

Just spending some time with the horses in the field just watching them munching used to help and calm me sometimes. No pressure today just take it as it is ☺️

greenbee

Can you have a gentle pottering day? Get a few small niggly jobs out of the way, enjoy some time grooming all your quadrupeds (Stinky and the cats are moulting like crazy) and chatting to them, maybe relax with a book for a bit. There are different ways of finding joy in the day, hour, or moment.

I’d planned a lie-in but am too restless, so have been pottering round the web, reading but getting distracted, and have had a shower. I think I may stick some laundry on (not having a backlog is always joyful!) and take Stinky out for a walk in the rain before looking at my vast long list of stuff that needs doing.

Watty1

I rummaged in yesterday's veg box and made some soup (pea courgette lettuce) which was a soup on the card in the box. Nice enough, we had it for lunch and enough to freezer for another lunch. I'm still using things up as eventually want to defrost the freezer on the yard. Removed some more fish for dinner. Planned a soup to make tomorrow and am not going to check the horsebox and see if it will start, if not will need to put that on the to do list.

Bargainhunter30

I read somewhere that when feeling like this, you should allow the feelings but set a time limit. So I will allow myself an hour to wallow in self pity and then move on. Should really follow that advice, as I wallowed for 3 days last week 🫣😂

Feel better soon Watty

MayDogsandCoffee

Not been on for a couple of days, ref the planning - the big firms often buy land as a venture and sell to building firms once planning has been obtained, a huge estate has been built where we are, they took the county council to court when pp was turned down and gov rules in their fav; individuals cannot afford that type of fight. Love the ticket purchase, your picnic will have exactly what you want in it, no waste and even if you add some premium snacks will still be cheaper than the bought for the occasion baskets. Millington in East Yorkshire has a lovely equestrian property on market (two bed modern bungalow) but with paddock and boxes, some great bridle paths and green lanes on the Wolds and you can box up and ride on the beach.

Watty1

I just popped Millington into rightmove and if I found the right property that is indeed gorgeous. Just small enough to be easily managed and heated, just under my minimum land requirement (5 acres) and nice bridle paths.

Lorry did start but VNM informs me the alternator needs replacing, we did take it out anyway and I had an hours wander with CC through a local forest. Our galloping days are over I fear and that was a little sad but we had a joyous wander and he was most insistent on the paths he wanted to take, so, giving in to his idea, we took a tiny path that horses are not allowed on and ended up in a magical clearing of bluebells. This forest only allows horses on the gravelled paths which is a bit sad but CC dos not read the rules so we ignored them. I'm glad I went, I paid for the permit six months ago but could not bring myself to leave the property in all that time. Anxiety sky high but CC did not notice.

VNM and I had a chat about the horsebox, he feels I should seriously consider replacing it due to its age and has offered to lend me money to do just that. I am thinking this over. A new lorry has been on my vision board for a while.

Baldybear

That sounds like a perfect ride, everyone needs a cc who doesnt obey the rules ☺️

Watty1

Yes @Baldybear CC is a joy.

The horsebox and tractor have the same battery so VNM suggests we charge the horsebox battery but keep it for an emergency we both hope will never happen until it can be fixed. (He can fix it but currently he has my car in bits after the MOT failure so that has to take priority).

In the meantime I have had a quick look on line at horseboxes for sale (gasp - how did they ever get to expensive!). As this will most likely be the last one I will ever buy I will put some time into the research - rather than the current one bought because PPH was being a !!!! and the sales man was so nice to me that I ended up in tears and he actually told PPH I just needed a bit of encouragement to use my left arm again (at that time I couldn't drive a manual after an accident that had damaged it badly)

I'm beginning to develop a list of what I would like re age, mileage, build style and so on and the research I am doing suggests my horsebox should indeed be sold before it starts to cost me a lot more in repairs.

Watty1

Feeling slightly irritated. The NHS outsourced counselling service sent me a copy of a letter to my GP saying I had declined their interventions. I copied GP in on my answering email, making it clear that they had referred me to an AI bot that irritated me daily by sending messages asking how I was and then telling me to go to A&E if I was struggling with mental health and that the counselling service gave me just two appointments, one to discuss presenting issue and the other to tell me everybody of my age has 'baggage'

I then, for clarity listed the 'baggage' (geesh it is a long list!) and added that I sincerely hoped everybody did not have "this baggage" and that a discussion with a group of female friends showed me that none had experienced even one off my list and the only group with similar trauma was the women I knew from a support group of coercive control survivors from a course I did some time ago designed to help us not fall into the trap again.

I finished by saying I was fortunate enough to be able to afford private counselling but urged the surgery to consider other options for those with mental health issues as their current provision is woefully inadequate.

Within 30 mins of sending email I had a phone call from someone wanting to discuss the issues, move me to the top of the waiting list, and when I remained unimpressed, said they could in fact make an appointment there and then and urged me to give the service another try.

Somewhat backed into a corner I agreed to give them a go whilst saying I held out no hope of a quality intervention.

Suffolk_lass

I would have quoted the coercive control support group experience and said I learned from that experience that repeating the same thing and expecting a different outcome is consistent with being controlled and you don't do that any more, so no thank you. I see no evidence of any change, except in their concern they might lose the contract. Just my view. You don't need that extra layer of excrement