Watty's Awakening

Humdinger1

You are handling it brilliantly @Watty1! I love thanking the room for everything.   MK said (before she converted to !!!!!!) that you should do that with every item in your handbag every night before putting it in its designated place to breathe, resting secure in the knowledge that it had done a good job.  That description sounds sarcastic but I don't mean it to; it's part of accepting what we've done in a day I think.   Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

LadyWithAPlan

The opera night sounds fun and at least the singing was great - dubious costumes can be more ignored 

I think a new bathroom will be great 

Watty1

Spent yesterday in the office catching up on work.  I realised early morning that work was really getting me down so took all of Sunday to clear a backlog and was in bed asleep by 8.30 pm

This morning I have said I will go with the friend who was being bullied at her yard to look at a new one for her horses.  I really don't have the time but I do feel I "owe her" as she was a big part of me realising I wanted to "run away" and just give up on the house and the land and the overwhelming to do list.    Hearing her story made me realise that I was just running away and/or giving up and that the universe has another plan for me.     So I will go and be supportive and feel gratitude for my life overwhelming though it can be at times.

As for the mould, I didn't get it cleared but my lovely cleaner is coming in today so I am going to ask her if she would mind doing the room instead of her usual pattern.   If she says no then that is ok by me but it is a solution to getting the room cleared of the stuff.

savingholmes

Good luck with removing the mould. 

Hope trip out with friend goes well.

badmemory

I really hate mould.  Are you sure your bathroom does not have a tiny & perpetual leak.  The mould in mine went a whole lot worse some years ago when I had a new bathroom.  Turns out that from day one the toilet had a small leak, thankfully fresh water, although non-fresh water would have given a clue because of the smell.

Watty1

@badmemory the shower had a leak when used, the window as difficult to use and extractor fan broke. The toilet also had a little leak once upon a time so I stuck a note on it saying out of order but that didn't stop the ex using it when he wanted too.

I hate mould and I think it just took a hold. My cleaner has made a sterling start on it.    I will have to have another go at it but she has made a great start by cleaning off some and hoovering the cracked tile dust out.

Watty1

The livery yard we visited was nice but I am so glad I have my horses at home.  I could not fault it but I just could not imagine my horses there at all - not that I am moving - but friend is.  She felt it was too quiet for her. I got that. i have my horses at home so it is just me and WattyDog but it is home, there is somewhere to sit with a cup of tea, and just a nice feeling.

The yard and the owner were lovely but for me home it is.  I'm so glad I got over that blip a couple of weeks ago!

KajiKita

Watty1 said:

The livery yard we visited was nice but I am so glad I have my horses at home.  I could not fault it but I just could not imagine my horses there at all - not that I am moving - but friend is.  She felt it was too quiet for her. I got that. i have my horses at home so it is just me and WattyDog but it is home, there is somewhere to sit with a cup of tea, and just a nice feeling.

The yard and the owner were lovely but for me home it is.  I'm so glad I got over that blip a couple of weeks ago!

I am so happy for you to read this 😊❤️
I know it might sound like a strange thing to say but I think it was important for you to go through that blip - that way, the way you are living and where, is now a conscious choice and decision and WHAT YOU WANT not just ‘where you ended up’, iyswim 😊

KK 

badmemory

I know very little (well nothing really) about horses but I do not think I could let someone else have control of any horse I had.  Anymore than I could let them have the main control over a dog or cat.  If they are yours & your responsibility then you need to be able to control what happens.  I will admit however to being a bit of a control freak, but I am not convinced that is necessarily such a bad thing.

Watty1

KajiKita said:

Watty1 said:

The livery yard we visited was nice but I am so glad I have my horses at home.  I could not fault it but I just could not imagine my horses there at all - not that I am moving - but friend is.  She felt it was too quiet for her. I got that. i have my horses at home so it is just me and WattyDog but it is home, there is somewhere to sit with a cup of tea, and just a nice feeling.

The yard and the owner were lovely but for me home it is.  I'm so glad I got over that blip a couple of weeks ago!

I am so happy for you to read this 😊❤️
I know it might sound like a strange thing to say but I think it was important for you to go through that blip - that way, the way you are living and where, is now a conscious choice and decision and WHAT YOU WANT not just ‘where you ended up’, iyswim 😊

KK 

I think you are right.   I needed to go through this "dark night" and plan and explore an option in order to see that it really isn't what I want and what I really want is what I have.     

I do feel very sorry for my friend who has been at the heart of me discovering this isn't what I want but as we chatted yesterday we did agree she was retired and has the time to explore options that will work for her and also to get a behaviourist to work with her horse to help with the appalling behaviour.

For me now, I just need to (a) make it mine and (b) work out how to sustainably afford what I have.