Watty's Awakening

TallGirl

I agree with everyone he is not a friend he must be missing his power you and is trying to see if he can get it back. The comment about part-time work is to my mind a dig and a power thing look what I have got and you haven't. Cut him out or better block him for now you really do not need him. If you have forgotten just read back in the your diary the things he got up to. 

Hope animals continue to feel better and love your vision board. Makes me want to have one for my future in Denmark too. 

Suffolk_lass

I think my response to these calls would be to suggest that if he had wanted your advice he would have worked at the relationship, not betrayed you and not fleeced you. Ping back a question as to whether he would trust the advice from someone feeling angry and vengeful towards him and say it really is not helpful to keep making these calls. Then block him

Slinky

I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. I think he'd enjoy anger and vengeful, those are the words which show he still has power to elicit a response.

Contempt and distain are useful descriptors, whilst making your journey on the road to indifference. If you can get past that to forgiveness, you're a better person than I.

LadyWithAPlan

I agree definitely 'not your friend'
How lovely he can work PT off your house payoff - bless

Just dont answer his calls - if he keeps calling then maybe pick up every 5th one... Talk about your new partner. keep it brief as in 2 mins - sorry got to go VNM is taking me to XXX

However there is no business left between you surely so .. i am not sure I'd even pick up every 5th call. Get the energy out your life - have you space cleared your home since he left? If not I would - can give you the steps if you need.

Actually an ex from 2 years ago called me yesterday - not spoken/text in 18 months.. he was coming to London and I guess hoping to see me before he had a dinner - ha! We left on OK terms - I finished it but he said he thinks of me often (I never think of him even when I am single) - he kinda muttered 'I think of you all the ...' but then said often...

Its spring - men get needy like London pigeons - no matter how busted they are they still chase  everything with a tail 

Hopefully the umove etc works and yes you have so much going on 

On your breakfast oats and wanting more protein - I make the DF GF oats and then add a scoop of vegan protein powder (strawberry or chocolate) and heat for extra 30 secs.... Plus add blueberries, flax seed, chia seeds, mixed seeds and cinnamon -= sometimes MCT oil as well.

badmemory

LadyWithAPlan said:

Its spring - men get needy like London pigeons - no matter how busted they are they still chase  everything with a tail 
.

Oh this!!!   I have a 77 yr old (same age) in my life wants me to live with him.  Not a chance he has serious history.  Lovely man & at least he is nice when he cheats unlike my ex.  His family realise I know but I don't think he does.  They do tend to think they a little clever.

Watty1

Bless you all so much.   And genuinely thank you for cheerleading and saying (writing) the words I so needed to hear. I seem to lose rational power of thought where he is concerned.

It just occurred to me, whilst reading your posts, that he keeps in touch about WattyDog and yet not once did he ask if I was ok for paying the vet bill yet he must have realised I've spent A  LOT of money out in vets bills this month (he heard about Most Handsome from someone).     He knew about WattyDog emergency trip because I told him, but, not once did he ask if I was ok.  He reminded me WattyDog is insured but I just said the emergency visit is probably under the excess.  

In total contrast the VNM who has no responsibility for any of the animals other than he is dating me asked if I was ok for money and offered to lend me some to pay the vet bills.  Hastily following up with a very clear comment that he cared not when or even if I paid him back he just didn't want me to struggle.

I suppose at some level I still want to believe that all that past was not real.  That I will wake up and it will be a bad dream.   I know that is irrational, but, there we are.  I sometimes think living in this house is not good for me. It still feels like the house I shared with him and that leads me back into a slightly unreal feeling.  

Ah well - gives self a good shake - I have plans for the year ahead.    This too will pass. I think I will write a note and pin in to office wall to the effect he is not my friend and all the excellent comments shared here.

KajiKita

It will get easier as the gap between then and now gets bigger and filled with lots of more interesting things 😊
I speak from experience 😉

Hope you and VNM have a lovely weekend 😊❤️

KK

PennysIntoPounds

Hi Watty, I've just lately discovered this diary and have been catching up, and am so pleased for you and proud of you for rebuilding your life. I hope it's not horribly rude for a stranger to add to this very sensitive topic of conversation, but as I only read your first page a couple of days ago I was really struck to get to the end of your diary so far and see that your ex has been phoning you *again*- you wrote not too long ago

it only ended with an injunction against him on the grounds of domestic abuse

That's horrendous and really, really serious, he should not be calling you like you're old buddies.
Please block his number and email and everything you can think of. He is not a good man and he is not likely to be contacting you with innocent intentions. Please prioritise your wellbeing. And maybe make a note of the date and time of the calls in case he's got a grand scheme of another way to rip you off and you want to revisit the terms of the injunction

Sorry for a very miserable introduction! Glad the animals are improving!

Humdinger1

Dearest @Watty1 please block him! He is taking up space rent-free in your head.  I do understand the drive to forgive because we forgive people for our sake, not theirs...but that injunction tells you everything you need to know and act on.  He is toxic and is scoring points.  Do you really want to play? Your life is good; you have plans with people who love you.  The least he could have done is to offer to pay towards Wattydog's vet bills.  You are worth so much more than this.  If he wasn't so sinister and twisted, he'd qualify as a Juggins but it's so much worse than that. Love Humdinger xx 

Watty1

@PennysIntoPounds Thank you for reading and commenting. I've read a few diaries and they are always so inspiring so I only hope mine offers some inspiration to those who read through the whole thing.