Pub barring

RefluentBeans

MattMattMattUK said:

Bluenunn_in_the_north said:

Hi

Just a quick query about the legal, and practical, position I'm in after a visit to my High Street pub.

So I went to this pub a couple of nights ago, reasonably merry when I went. I went to the bar and ordered a cider. There were 3 women next to me and I had a quick chat about their drink.

I went and sat down and finished the drink and returned to the bar to order another.

Utterly unexpectedly the manager said I 'said something sexual' without elaborating and barred me for 6 months.  She didn’t think  even tell me what I was alleged to have said and to whom.

I didn’t say anything of the kind. I know all pubs are private premises but it seems to me that she took someone else's word and determined a course of action without even asking me anything.

I feel it was a little misandric. How can it be acceptable to bar someone without any elaboration?

Just interested out of curiosity that I may be being discriminated against.

Thanks

As an ex pub manager I would say the fact that you have immediately gone to those as the reason you were barred are highly indicative of a kind of person who does not normally recognise when their behaviour has passed the threshold of unacceptable. Barring is rare for a one off incident unless is extreme, normally people would get a slap on the wrist and sent home for the night. Is there more to this than you are perhaps letting on? 

Or they’re interpreting the ‘I think you’ve had enough’ sort of line from the manager as being barred. Or he kicked off when being asked to leave. 

After rereading the OP - the guy came in somewhat tipsy, meaning it was probably towards the end of the night; it happened ‘a couple of nights ago’ meaning a weekday (so likely shorter opening hours than weekends) and the guy was allowed to finish his drink - he was only asked to leave when he went to the bar again. To me, this is very much ‘we’re very close to last orders, you may or may not have said something to upset someone, why don’t you just skip the last pint of the night and go home’. 

HillStreetBlues

MattMattMattUK said:

As an ex pub manager I would say the fact that you have immediately gone to those as the reason you were barred are highly indicative of a kind of person who does not normally recognise when their behaviour has passed the threshold of unacceptable. Barring is rare for a one off incident unless is extreme, normally people would get a slap on the wrist and sent home for the night. Is there more to this than you are perhaps letting on? 

I agree.
If what was first said warranted a 6 month ban, then it wouldn't have waited until OP went back to get another drink.
It's more likely that OP was either warned or refused another drink and OP kicked off about it.

Bluenunn_in_the_north

marcia_ said:

Bluenunn_in_the_north said:

Hi

Just a quick query about the legal, and practical, position I'm in after a visit to my High Street pub.

So I went to this pub a couple of nights ago, reasonably merry when I went. I went to the bar and ordered a cider. There were 3 women next to me and I had a quick chat about their drink.

I went and sat down and finished the drink and returned to the bar to order another.

Utterly unexpectedly the manager said I 'said something sexual' without elaborating and barred me for 6 months.  She didn’t think  even tell me what I was alleged to have said and to whom.

I didn’t say anything of the kind. I know all pubs are private premises but it seems to me that she took someone else's word and determined a course of action without even asking me anything.

I feel it was a little misandric. How can it be acceptable to bar someone without any elaboration?

Just interested out of curiosity that I may be being discriminated against.

Thanks

 Like any business they can refuse you service that includes removal from their premises if they don't want your custom. 

 They can't do this for discriminatory reasons, sex, religion, gender, disability, age etc but I fail to see how that applies here. 

Thanks, like I suspected. I'm just disappointed and irritated that they made an error.

eskbanker

Bluenunn_in_the_north said:

marcia_ said:

Bluenunn_in_the_north said:

Hi

Just a quick query about the legal, and practical, position I'm in after a visit to my High Street pub.

So I went to this pub a couple of nights ago, reasonably merry when I went. I went to the bar and ordered a cider. There were 3 women next to me and I had a quick chat about their drink.

I went and sat down and finished the drink and returned to the bar to order another.

Utterly unexpectedly the manager said I 'said something sexual' without elaborating and barred me for 6 months.  She didn’t think  even tell me what I was alleged to have said and to whom.

I didn’t say anything of the kind. I know all pubs are private premises but it seems to me that she took someone else's word and determined a course of action without even asking me anything.

I feel it was a little misandric. How can it be acceptable to bar someone without any elaboration?

Just interested out of curiosity that I may be being discriminated against.

Thanks

 Like any business they can refuse you service that includes removal from their premises if they don't want your custom. 

 They can't do this for discriminatory reasons, sex, religion, gender, disability, age etc but I fail to see how that applies here. 

Thanks, like I suspected. I'm just disappointed and irritated that they made an error.

An error in your opinion - you're obviously the only one who was there but, equally obviously, we're only hearing one side of the story!

Bluenunn_in_the_north

RefluentBeans said:

And why do you feel you’re being discriminated against? 

I see it quite often. The reason I feel possibly discriminated against is because;

A) It's a false allegation.
B ) If you swap the roles and it was me saying a girl said 'something sexual' do you honestly believe they would bar her immediately without any explanation or do a little investigation, or laugh in my face.

If you believe I would be treated differently in the identical situation but the roles reversed, what is the difference, gender. What does that mean, discrimination based on an identity  component. Men are always disbelieved in that kind of scenario and have had girls, who know that, take advantage many times.

It's real and it's called misandry.

Remember, I didn't do it and wasn't even asked for my version of events. How is that balanced and fair?

Bluenunn_in_the_north

outtatune said:

This you?

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/80223363/#Comment_80223363

Yep, a licksmith😁

Bluenunn_in_the_north

GingerTim said:

Bluenunn_in_the_north said:

Hi

Just a quick query about the legal, and practical, position I'm in after a visit to my High Street pub.

So I went to this pub a couple of nights ago, reasonably merry when I went. I went to the bar and ordered a cider. There were 3 women next to me and I had a quick chat about their drink.

I went and sat down and finished the drink and returned to the bar to order another.

Utterly unexpectedly the manager said I 'said something sexual' without elaborating and barred me for 6 months.  She didn’t think  even tell me what I was alleged to have said and to whom.

I didn’t say anything of the kind. I know all pubs are private premises but it seems to me that she took someone else's word and determined a course of action without even asking me anything.

I feel it was a little misandric. How can it be acceptable to bar someone without any elaboration?

Just interested out of curiosity that I may be being discriminated against.

Thanks

If you were already 'reasonably merry' when you arrived at the pub surely it's entirely conceivable you may have said something untoward?

I would not expect the manager to identify the complainant, particularly if it was a woman, for quite obvious reasons.

Misandric? Give over.

I know who the complainant was as I only talked to one group of girls at the bar about the colour of their drinks.

I'm  always polite and some weird sexual comment isn't me. 

In hindsight I should have found them and checked the veracity of what they said.

Is it possible I said something I don't  recall, probably  less than 1% chance as I was lucid. I was cycling!

Misandry, see the above thought experiment. I've had it done before, so you're wrong.

Thanks for the input.

Bluenunn_in_the_north

oldernonethewiser said:

One person's "reasonably merry" is another's "obnoxious drunk"

Drink (less) elsewhere

It was end of year shindig, I hear what you say but kept myself to myself, last one on way home..

Thanks

GingerTim

Bluenunn_in_the_north said:

GingerTim said:

Bluenunn_in_the_north said:

Hi

Just a quick query about the legal, and practical, position I'm in after a visit to my High Street pub.

So I went to this pub a couple of nights ago, reasonably merry when I went. I went to the bar and ordered a cider. There were 3 women next to me and I had a quick chat about their drink.

I went and sat down and finished the drink and returned to the bar to order another.

Utterly unexpectedly the manager said I 'said something sexual' without elaborating and barred me for 6 months.  She didn’t think  even tell me what I was alleged to have said and to whom.

I didn’t say anything of the kind. I know all pubs are private premises but it seems to me that she took someone else's word and determined a course of action without even asking me anything.

I feel it was a little misandric. How can it be acceptable to bar someone without any elaboration?

Just interested out of curiosity that I may be being discriminated against.

Thanks

If you were already 'reasonably merry' when you arrived at the pub surely it's entirely conceivable you may have said something untoward?

I would not expect the manager to identify the complainant, particularly if it was a woman, for quite obvious reasons.

Misandric? Give over.

I know who the complainant was as I only talked to one group of girls at the bar about the colour of their drinks.

I'm  always polite and some weird sexual comment isn't me. 

In hindsight I should have found them and checked the veracity of what they said.

Is it possible I said something I don't  recall, probably  less than 1% chance as I was lucid. I was cycling!

Misandry, see the above thought experiment. I've had it done before, so you're wrong.

Thanks for the input.

I think that would have been very foolish.

Nope, not seeing any misandry apart from in your own mind.

Bluenunn_in_the_north

Aylesbury_Duck said:

By your own admission you were already intoxicated, so how can you be sure about exactly what you said and how it was said, let alone judge the manager's motivation?   

What do you think you actually said to the other customers?

I remember the conversation. They were served before me at the bar, had a brief convo on the colour of their drink they left and I ordered a pint. They wouldn't have served me if the 'offence' had happened before then. 

Maybe it wasn't even that group, I then sat down on my own.

Not to explain the allegation though is nonsense.