Has saving affected your mental health.

Albermarle

Bobziz said:

Fascinating thread, thank you. I can relate to much of it. My personal struggle relates to the time it often takes me to make purchases (not everyday consumables). I often spend far too long researching to find the best item and then another excessively long period of time trying to find that item at the best price.

The after you have bought it, you find it cheaper somewhere else.....

B0bbyEwing

I'd say yes is the answer to the question for me, although for different reasons maybe. 

I will save-save-save & not spend on things I think are too dear ... but then from time to time I'll say well I just WANT 'that' and I'll just buy it. So then I wonder - am I really tight or am I actually not? Because I can flit either way.

I know earlier in my 20s I would just buy whatever I wanted if I had the money & buying it wouldn't erode a large percentage of my money.
These days I find I can't bring myself to buy things I think are overpriced - and it's becoming frequent. 

Recently we went past some Xmas markets. Years gone by we'd get something to eat from a stall but I couldn't bring myself to pay £10 for a Yorkshire Pud wrap because they're not the biggest & the filling isn't that much either. 

I was recently on holiday & ate out (had factored it in). £15.99 for the main, which is about what I expected but the portion size was abysmal. Still, I thought ok I'll take it on the chin. 
They asked if we wanted flat breads to go alongside so we said sure no problem. No mention of cost here & ok maybe we should've asked the question - is this free or do we have to pay (can be a bit of an awkward question for some) but as it was offered we thought it free due to what we'd ordered (big mistake). 
What we got was 4 tiny pieces of bread  no bigger than the palm of my hand which by the time we got the bill (emailed to us) turned out to be £3.80. Extortionate for the size. £3.80 also for a tiny glass of diet coke!! 

But the real kicker for me was I found out later (after paying), that a 10% service charge had been auto-added. Now I'm of the frame of mind that service charges should be optional & is something you can give IF you want, not auto-added .... and especially not when the service was not great at all. I'm also the person who refuses to ever tip. I don't believe in it whatsoever. I could have the most incredible service ever but I still will not tip because I think it's nonsense - but that's another debate.

So yeah, you mention you find yourself questioning the cost of things - I'm finding more & more lately I'm saying "HOW MUCH???? F<orget> THAT!! We're going!!". 


But my take on a "mental health" side of things is the money managing. The running of numerous accounts trying to make the money work as hard as possible with interest rates and cashback cards etc. The running of spreadsheets, updating of spreadsheets, the cycling of money, hitting account criteria so on & so forth.

This year I've made mistakes & I've felt it getting too much after doing it for maybe 15 years now so what I'm doing is really dialling back my accounts. Once all regular savers have matured then they'll be binned for a start. This month I must have closed down 10 accounts already.

On the one hand I hate it because now I'll get less interest than I would've, but I'm trying it out to see if it helps my mind be calmer because banking-wise, I always felt like I had to do something or check something or was missing something and often I would find that there was actually nothing to do or check & nothing was missing but because I had so many plates spinning it just forever felt like that.

Bridlington1

masonic said:

Bridlington1 said:

I also find it very difficult to spend, the most notable impact is the fact that my social life has ended up becoming somewhat limited, having never spent money on socialising full stop. I'm 20 and in my third and final year of university and despite having amassed quite a large amount of savings I am so far yet to set foot in a nightclub (or even go on a night out for that matter), have never spent money in a pub, on each occasion I have gone there with some friends I've taken sandwiches with me and I have never learnt to drive due to the cost associated with it. My definition of a day out typically involves cycling 20-30 miles each way to the coast with a picnic and not spending anything.

I would encourage you to try to address that before it is too late. Some of my most treasured memories come from my social life in that era, and for most people it is a once in a lifetime opportunity to live that life. Trust me, there is plenty of time after the social life has fizzled out to save money and take up more frugal pastimes!

At the moment I do have a social life, it's just become quite restricted as I don't spend any money on it. I've been going to the Uni's board games society once a week since the start of the second year of studying in which I can go for free, play board games for 4 hours with no spending involved, admittedly I've never paid the membership fee but then again I'm not alone in that. Beyond that though my social life is pretty much non-existent.

I think you're right though, this is an area I probably should address at some point in the near future.

Albermarle said:

Bridlington1 said:

I would like to first of all take the opportunity to thank @Brricktop69 for creating this thread and also those who have posted here, it's been a very thought provoking thread and has made me look more closely at my own saving habits.

I also find it very difficult to spend, the most notable impact is the fact that my social life has ended up becoming somewhat limited, having never spent money on socialising full stop. I'm 20 and in my third and final year of university and despite having amassed quite a large amount of savings I am so far yet to set foot in a nightclub (or even go on a night out for that matter), have never spent money in a pub, on each occasion I have gone there with some friends I've taken sandwiches with me and I have never learnt to drive due to the cost associated with it. My definition of a day out typically involves cycling 20-30 miles each way to the coast with a picnic and not spending anything.

I think I've always been a natural saver though. For as long as I can remember whenever I've received money due to birthdays/Christmas etc as a child and been asked what I'm going to do with the money my response was usually "I'll put it in the bank", in part because the banks pay interest and from an early age I quite liked the idea of the banks paying me for doing nothing but also because I didn't know what I wanted to do with the money so decided I may as well save it instead until I did know what I wanted to do with it.

These days as soon as I get any money my first thought is usually to decide which savings account will I put the money into, the thought of spending it rarely crosses my mind. The only time I ever do spend money on myself is if I think it will save/generate me more money in the long run, e.g. I bought a smartphone for £29.99 last year because it enabled me to benefit from the Natwest/RBS reward accounts and a £150 RBS switching offer so has paid for itself many times over.

I tend to hoard some things too, possibly by extension of the above. Among other things I've got several hundred items of stationary that I've found over the years, most of which I'm probably not going to use, if a pen breaks I keep it to use as spare parts in case other pens break, I don't throw away used envelopes as I can cut them up and print written instructions to building societies on them or make rough notes on them, if an electrical appliance breaks I remove the screws from it in case they might come in useful later etc. 

At the moment I do get some enjoyment out of saving though, I enjoy moving my money around to get a better rate and find it quite satisfying to see my savings increase overall, though I suspect that is partly because I'm currently saving for something rather than just for its own sake. I'm hoping to buy my first home at some point next year, in part to cut down on future rent/mortgage costs, once I have bought somewhere outright I will most likely start saving any spare money I have aside in the hope of retiring early, my logic is mainly that it may enable me to buy myself free time to enjoy later as I could stop working earlier though I'm aware that there's a flaw in this logic in that whilst I fully intend to live for a very long time there's always a chance that I may not live that long for some unforeseen reason so may never feel the benefit. Whilst I've a vey good reason to save now, I can very much see myself in the position where in 30-40 years I will find myself retired but unable to bring myself to spend, in part because I don't really know how to enjoy spending, all I've done so far is save and I don't really know how to do anything else. I also hate the thought of wasting money and tend to regard spending money on myself as wasteful spending.

Some of my attitude to money could stem from very early childhood. I remember my father was absolutely terrible with money, having racked up very large debts to the point that he ended up declaring bankruptcy, my mother was always much better with money than my father was, having never got into debt herself that I'm aware of and having raised me and my younger brother on benefits for most of my childhood after they split when I was about 4 or 5. Whilst this experience may have made me more careful with money, I doubt it is the only reason why I'm reluctant to spend, not least because I saw my father very little after my parents split and haven't seen him for over a decade now and also the fact that my younger brother has also been brought up on benefits (though never knew my father), yet is the complete opposite of me in the sense that if he has money in his hand, he will spend it on impulse and seems to lack any sort of desire to save.

To this day I'm still quite fearful of ending up in the mess that my father was and probably still is in and worry that If I spend unnecessarily on one occasion then I would be inclined to spend again, and again and it could snowball from there and before I know it my life savings would be gone and the effort I'd put into saving all these years would therefore become a complete and utter waste of time. I can understand the argument that having money sat in a bank account for the rest of my life is probably also wasteful but at the same time I wouldn't want to end up running out of money later in life, particularly if any unexpected expenses come up.

Another thing I've found is that I procrastinate when it comes to spending money. When I was a child I used to say to those who tell me "you can't take it with you" that I would start enjoying my money once I'm at uni. When I started uni it became "I'll wait until after I've got my first home sorted", now that I'm close to buying my first home it has become "once I've retired".

In some ways I'm glad I have saved so much, it's certainly better to save too much than to spend too much as so many of my fellow students have done and may come to regret and it means I should have less difficulty getting on the housing ladder but at the same time I do think I could do with being a bit less fearful of spending as it can have a non-financial price associated with it too and in later years it probably won't do me much harm to spend some of my money out of choice rather than out of necessity from time to time.

Apologies for the lengthy post but I've rarely looked at my saving habits from this angle before, I've tended to see it as either I save hard or end up in debt in the future, the fact that saving too much could be an issue isn't something I've really considered before reading this thread. I suppose upon reflection I have become obsessed with saving and this will probably need to be modified slightly in future years so thanks again to the OP for starting this thread.

I think the idea of a savings pot specifically for spending could be worth a thought, though I would most likely want the money to be earning as much interest as possible before I spent it so it would soon end up mixed up with the rest of my savings and then lost within the depths of a spreadsheet. I'd likely also keep delaying when I would spend it as I would want an extra day's interest to be earned on the money and keep pushing back the date to spend.

I think your case is a bit more extreme than the other posts, especially being only 20. Probably a good idea to try and take control/get some help with your tendency to obsessiveness, before it gets even worse.
I have highlighted a few of the more worrying signs.
Going forward this issue will also probably cause problems in relationships and your ability to be a well rounded individual.
Also as @masonic said for many people the Uni years were the best years of their life, so try not to waste them.

I suppose I have probably become a bit extreme with my savings, I must admit as time has gone on I seem to have found ever more ways to save/cut back on spending money and this thread has alerted me to just how extreme my attitude to money has become and the general direction it seems to be going even at the age of 20, so heaven's knows what I'll be like 20, 30 or 40 years down the line.

With regards to relationships I've remained single so far though I think that's because I've never met that special someone yet. I take your point though, my current level of frugality could cause some issues in any future relationships so could do with re-evaluating.

Eco_Miser said:

Bridlington1   You need to visit a nightclub, a pub etc. If you're anything like my younger self, you'll find they're too dark, too noisy and too crowded, but you'll know that from experience, not from frugality. And you'll be able to tell people who tell you to go to nightclubs "Been there, done that, didn't like it".

Don't get so fixated on saving that you don't spend on necessities, or even 'nice to haves'. While you could be dead tomorrow, you could also still be alive in a hundred years time (with all the right genes and a bit of luck), might as well be comfortable.

Don't hoard, you just end up with a home full of junk that 'might come in one day'. When that day comes, you won't be able to find the thing, and go out and buy a new one anyway.

I've never learned to drive, not because of the cost, though not driving has saved me a lot of money over the years, at the cost of convenience, but because I have absolutely no co-ordination, nor the necessary concentration.

I can imagine that would be the case, I've found I'm not too keen on loud music in pubs and tend to avoid crowded cities at the best of times so I can imagine the world of nightclubs wouldn't be my cup of tea.

I'm not currently at the point where I will not spend money if I need to, though I do keep the costs down to the bare minimum where possible and try to find a way of achieving the same result for free first. 

I think going forward my definition of "wasteful spending" will need some alteration though as at the moment I tend to consider the "nice to haves" as wasteful and have therefore become "aught not to haves due to the cost". I wonder if this will become slightly easier to change once I've bought my first property though as from that point onwards my savings goals would become much more long term so the urgency to save should ease a bit. I'll try to address this aspect earlier than that though.

At the moment most of the things I've saved aside are things that will probably come in useful one day and some of it already has and all the time I've got room for it and can still find things I can't see it doing any harm. If I ever got to the point where I could barely move for stuff then I would have a declutter but whenever I've sorted through my belongings before I've usually ended up getting rid of one or possibly two items then rearranging everything else so it fits into a slightly smaller space. I appreciate your concerns though.

Sea_Shell

@Bridlington1

Insightful post.     I knew you were a "prolific" saver, as you are always on the ball with all the best deals, but I always assumed you were much older (40+).   When I read that you are only 20, I was taken aback!!

One of the other issues we savers face is that of pressure to "do the right thing", for the greater good.

Less waste, less environmental damage, helping keep inflation down...are all admirable, but not if it's to our own detriment.

Collectively, if we all went and started spending our savings, what "damage" could we do?   

You only have to look at next weeks bins to see what "consumerism" looks like.   They will be heaving with leftovers, cardboard, plastic, and general tat etc etc.   


We savers might just be saving the planet too!!!

Flugelhorn

Interesting thing that comes up in many comments (and something I find myself) - is keeping up with price increases and what is "normal" for say a restaurant meal or a bar snack etc etc  - takeaway lunches on a day out - the Xmas works do etc  similarly for a woollen sweater, pair of boots - if there are things you don't buy very often then it can be a surprise when you see how much they are a while they may be a reasonable price, the immediate reaction is "I'm not paying that for it!"  

NoMore

I find it’s the people who just save for savings sake or for a ‘rainy day’ are the ones who have trouble spending these savings. 

Having an actual aim and goals for savings helps you spend it when the time arrives. 

VNX

NoMore said:

I find it’s the people who just save for savings sake or for a ‘rainy day’ are the ones who have trouble spending these savings. 

Having an actual aim and goals for savings helps you spend it when the time arrives. 

Interesting, this describes me!

jimexbox

I find spending rainy day savings hard because I have little interest in owning the latest anything. I'm happy with my 10 year old car and 3 year old phone. It's not a case of depriving myself, I just think if it fulfills what I need, why spend out on a new one. I will happily spend money on travelling and experiencing something new. As I've aged I know that material things don't actually make me happier. 

Aminatidi

jimexbox said:

I find spending rainy day savings hard because I have little interest in owning the latest anything. I'm happy with my 10 year old car and 3 year old phone. It's not a case of depriving myself, I just think if it fulfills what I need, why spend out on a new one. I will happily spend money on travelling and experiencing something new. As I've aged I know that material things don't actually make me happier. 

I'm a little bit like this.

When I want a new iPhone I'll just buy one but I don't feel obliged to go out each year and buy the brand new one.

I needed some clothes recently and decided I want to spend a bit more and buy good quality.

I have a little under £380K in liquid investments (that is not to boast it's to set the scene) but somehow I felt I had to "justify" to myself spending £180 on a couple of jumpers.

Still can't work out if that's a good personality trait or a bad one but I think I'd rather that self-check than constantly buying sale stuff I don't need or an endless supply of coffees and snacks and the stuff I see a lot of people spending money on.

That said I have the lurgy at the moment and didn't give a second thought to spending £30 on a takeaway last night.

The point of money is that it makes life easier it's why we all pursue it.

Nothing wrong with showing a little caution about what it's spent on but don't forget what it's ultimately there for and don't go too far in the other direction IMHO 👍🏻

Bobziz

Worth dwelling on this perhaps "The point of money is that it makes life easier it's why we all pursue it."

For me I think it's about making life better and sometimes that's easier, sometimes it's happier, sometimes it's more fulfilling...the list could no doubt go on, but maybe the important bit is to give it some thought rather than set to auto-pilot 🤔