Has saving affected your mental health.

theoretica

Similar to the suggestion to have a pot for savings, I think it can help to separate actual savings from money which just hasn't been spent yet/in the month it was earned - so you don't feel your savings are going down so often, except for their intended use like new cars.  It doesn't work for everyone, but I like a fixed sum going to savings, and that is separate from money I may not spend until annual bills are due, or I want it for a holiday or whatever.

[Deleted User]

Flugelhorn said:

@[Deleted User] I think this is different though - it is a mindset and very hard to get out of. We are well into IHT / higher tax territory and still stand in the supermarket muttering about prices and going for own brand when we could afford named brands.  Rarely buy new clothes as I hate clothes shopping - happily spend money though on things that help local community, friends and the kids 

Sorry but I think you have a real issue then. Perhaps use your wealth for then benefit of the common good. Your condition baffles me. I will say no more.

Sea_Shell

It's not as simple as spending, good... saving, bad.

We're all different and have different things that make us happy and content.

Obviously if what you are doing is giving you "issues" then it could be a problem.

Those that know me know I'm not a spender, for spending sake. 😉😇

VNX

A very thought provoking thread and one which strikes a chord with me.

I have always from as young as I can remember been a saver, my old man was a bank manager and always very good with money, maybe that’s where got it from, who knows.

as a kid I saved but spend money on the usual stuff as you do as a kid, then as I got to my early 20s and got my first FT job, my savings focus carried on. Always switching savings accounts etc to maximise what I had and saving hard and doing lots of overtime ti save a deposit for a house which I achieved and am very glad I have done.

Was in my house for about five years then covid hit and I was made redundant, had a horrible couple of months worrying what on earth I was going to do, then I picked up a temporary job the pay was as OK and a year later I got back into pretty much what I was doing pre covid albeit on a lower salary. 

Sorry I digress.

Although I have been a saver all my life I have really found since covid that my focus hasn’t just been on saving but also on not spending, very much in the way the OP speaks of.

I suffer with social anxiety disorder and so rarely socialise or go out much apart from when I need to so things like clothes etc I really only but when I’ve no option but to buy

i just find my mind almost fixated at times with how much I have in savings, what my pension pot is worth, working out how much I can save per month working out roughly what monies I’ll have in X years time etc 

and I know it’s not healthy and I know it’s not good for me.

as discussed I too feel bad speaking like this as I appreciate how hard many have it and how many would see dilemmas like this as trivial as they struggle to pay the bills but this doesn’t mean what I discuss and the OP and others have spoken about isn’t a very real issue, 

and I feel so silly at times, I work with many people who are younger than me and I say to them live while your young enjoy yourself go for it, saying these kind of things as advise yet I get home and scrimp when I really dont need to.

my salary isn’t large, circa 27k but my savings pot is the biggest it’s ever been (six figures) most of it locked away at good rates which again gives me income when the bonds mature, am I the happiest I have ever been? No, far from it. Yet I still rarely sound unless I have to and when I do I just analyse how much X will cost and how long it will take before I can save that money back. 

Another fixation I seem to suffer from too is having to put back, so let’s say I have £X in savings and I spend x amount of it my goal is to replenish it ASAP 

I will never be a “spender” nor do I want to be but I feel a more health balance and less worry would do me good 

and it’s only really spending on me that’s the issue, with Christmas time here I have spent money on my small circle of friends and family that I have, one close friend I have has recently had a baby I have got her a £100 gift card as a gift, I didn’t think twice or balk at it but no way I’d spend that on myself or if I did it would be over analysed. 

It seems that the more money I amass, the less and less I spend on myself 

sorry for the long message but I feel it’s helped me posting this, thank you to the OP for raising this thought provoking thread 

AmanitaGold

Hi Brricktop69 - you're not alone in feeling like this. I think a lot of us are here bc we struggle getting the balance between what we should spend our money on and what we want to spend our money on. Too much of the former leads to guilt and shame when spending imo. I second xylophone's tips about making a special discretionary fund for money you wish to spend on small treats for yourself. For me a similar technique has helped me feel it's okay to enjoy my hard-earned money. Ultimately, as long as you're paying your bills and taking care of your family, you're entitled to treat yourself and feel the results of your hard work (within reason). 

london21

Do not be too hard on yourself.

I find that I am a big saver rather than a spender but can have a budget for yourself every month for enjoyment.

You have done well for yourselves, enjoy, travel, spend on what you enjoy etc.

Nowadays I spend on what I want, like today received my income from work i set aside a certain amount for myself guilt free. 

Martico

[Deleted User] said:

I will also say that buying cheap is not always the best form of economy.

Any excuse to (re)post Terry Pratchett's Sam Vimes Boots Theory: 

The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example... A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

clodagh_trubble

i find it so sad, my dad died recently leaving almost six figures, he had spent nothing on himself for years, was still saving, lived in worn out clothes, a run-down house and had not had a holiday in years and so many more examples I could give of his refusal/fear of spending money. I feel he missed out on so much he could have done rather than amassing this money that he never really benefitted from and didn't give him love or warmth.

boingy

clodagh_trubble said:

i find it so sad, my dad died recently leaving almost six figures, he had spent nothing on himself for years, was still saving, lived in worn out clothes, a run-down house and had not had a holiday in years and so many more examples I could give of his refusal/fear of spending money. I feel he missed out on so much he could have done rather than amassing this money that he never really benefitted from and didn't give him love or warmth.

It's a recurring theme with my Mum, and with my Dad when he was alive. Both me and my brother are fortunate enough to not need any inheritance but our parents have focussed on that very thing. We managed to get them on a few nice holidays but mostly they squirrelled it away rather than spend it. Now that Mum is on her own it's even worse. She really won't spend anything unless it is absolutely necessary and she ain't going to change. I guess it's her choice.

tichtich

This thread has put me in mind of George Eliot's moving novel, 'Silas Marner', about a man obsessed with saving, who loses his money and then finds happiness elsewhere. I'm not trying to make any point; just mentioning a story that others might appreciate. I heard it in the form of a BBC radio dramatisation, which is still available online:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p07lc69s