Has saving affected your mental health.

Bazzalona13295

I would say that in the main I have been frugal (others would no doubt use a different term), never really had a very well paid job, never really pushed for one, was muddling around in life.

Still saving when I could but in all honesty there was no obvious aim for these savings until I met my wife who has numerous health conditions. Her amazing attitude gave me a well needed kick up the rear and we both spent a lot of our money - as in the vast majority - on travelling and experiences, ones I would never have had without her.

Lately the health situation has unfortunately affected our mental health to the point we are separated and now saving has almost become a hobby again - probably helps take my mind off the mess I'm in - but with a purpose.

The (forlorn?) hope that we will again have the chance to experience things together again, we still go out and do things but only a day or two a week (which kills me but thats a different subject).

But now I'm saving when and where I can, specifically taking far more notice of rates now they've gone up the last couple of years and also doing little bits online to boost those figures when its purpose driven its not so bad.

I still go out, do things and spend money but the bulk of these last few months earnings/savings are with a goal in mind.

Whether that is 'healthy' I will leave up to others, my mental health is appalling but this does help in a weird way, keeps me occupied.

But saving for savings sake and not living a life because of it is not healthy in the slightest, no one knows what is round the corner, if you CAN get experiences or joy out of your money DO IT.

Hope the OP breaks out of the cycle.

Albermarle

Bridlington1 said:

I would like to first of all take the opportunity to thank @Brricktop69 for creating this thread and also those who have posted here, it's been a very thought provoking thread and has made me look more closely at my own saving habits.

I also find it very difficult to spend, the most notable impact is the fact that my social life has ended up becoming somewhat limited, having never spent money on socialising full stop. I'm 20 and in my third and final year of university and despite having amassed quite a large amount of savings I am so far yet to set foot in a nightclub (or even go on a night out for that matter), have never spent money in a pub, on each occasion I have gone there with some friends I've taken sandwiches with me and I have never learnt to drive due to the cost associated with it. My definition of a day out typically involves cycling 20-30 miles each way to the coast with a picnic and not spending anything.

I think I've always been a natural saver though. For as long as I can remember whenever I've received money due to birthdays/Christmas etc as a child and been asked what I'm going to do with the money my response was usually "I'll put it in the bank", in part because the banks pay interest and from an early age I quite liked the idea of the banks paying me for doing nothing but also because I didn't know what I wanted to do with the money so decided I may as well save it instead until I did know what I wanted to do with it.

These days as soon as I get any money my first thought is usually to decide which savings account will I put the money into, the thought of spending it rarely crosses my mind. The only time I ever do spend money on myself is if I think it will save/generate me more money in the long run, e.g. I bought a smartphone for £29.99 last year because it enabled me to benefit from the Natwest/RBS reward accounts and a £150 RBS switching offer so has paid for itself many times over.

I tend to hoard some things too, possibly by extension of the above. Among other things I've got several hundred items of stationary that I've found over the years, most of which I'm probably not going to use, if a pen breaks I keep it to use as spare parts in case other pens break, I don't throw away used envelopes as I can cut them up and print written instructions to building societies on them or make rough notes on them, if an electrical appliance breaks I remove the screws from it in case they might come in useful later etc. 

At the moment I do get some enjoyment out of saving though, I enjoy moving my money around to get a better rate and find it quite satisfying to see my savings increase overall, though I suspect that is partly because I'm currently saving for something rather than just for its own sake. I'm hoping to buy my first home at some point next year, in part to cut down on future rent/mortgage costs, once I have bought somewhere outright I will most likely start saving any spare money I have aside in the hope of retiring early, my logic is mainly that it may enable me to buy myself free time to enjoy later as I could stop working earlier though I'm aware that there's a flaw in this logic in that whilst I fully intend to live for a very long time there's always a chance that I may not live that long for some unforeseen reason so may never feel the benefit. Whilst I've a vey good reason to save now, I can very much see myself in the position where in 30-40 years I will find myself retired but unable to bring myself to spend, in part because I don't really know how to enjoy spending, all I've done so far is save and I don't really know how to do anything else. I also hate the thought of wasting money and tend to regard spending money on myself as wasteful spending.

Some of my attitude to money could stem from very early childhood. I remember my father was absolutely terrible with money, having racked up very large debts to the point that he ended up declaring bankruptcy, my mother was always much better with money than my father was, having never got into debt herself that I'm aware of and having raised me and my younger brother on benefits for most of my childhood after they split when I was about 4 or 5. Whilst this experience may have made me more careful with money, I doubt it is the only reason why I'm reluctant to spend, not least because I saw my father very little after my parents split and haven't seen him for over a decade now and also the fact that my younger brother has also been brought up on benefits (though never knew my father), yet is the complete opposite of me in the sense that if he has money in his hand, he will spend it on impulse and seems to lack any sort of desire to save.

To this day I'm still quite fearful of ending up in the mess that my father was and probably still is in and worry that If I spend unnecessarily on one occasion then I would be inclined to spend again, and again and it could snowball from there and before I know it my life savings would be gone and the effort I'd put into saving all these years would therefore become a complete and utter waste of time. I can understand the argument that having money sat in a bank account for the rest of my life is probably also wasteful but at the same time I wouldn't want to end up running out of money later in life, particularly if any unexpected expenses come up.

Another thing I've found is that I procrastinate when it comes to spending money. When I was a child I used to say to those who tell me "you can't take it with you" that I would start enjoying my money once I'm at uni. When I started uni it became "I'll wait until after I've got my first home sorted", now that I'm close to buying my first home it has become "once I've retired".

In some ways I'm glad I have saved so much, it's certainly better to save too much than to spend too much as so many of my fellow students have done and may come to regret and it means I should have less difficulty getting on the housing ladder but at the same time I do think I could do with being a bit less fearful of spending as it can have a non-financial price associated with it too and in later years it probably won't do me much harm to spend some of my money out of choice rather than out of necessity from time to time.

Apologies for the lengthy post but I've rarely looked at my saving habits from this angle before, I've tended to see it as either I save hard or end up in debt in the future, the fact that saving too much could be an issue isn't something I've really considered before reading this thread. I suppose upon reflection I have become obsessed with saving and this will probably need to be modified slightly in future years so thanks again to the OP for starting this thread.

I think the idea of a savings pot specifically for spending could be worth a thought, though I would most likely want the money to be earning as much interest as possible before I spent it so it would soon end up mixed up with the rest of my savings and then lost within the depths of a spreadsheet. I'd likely also keep delaying when I would spend it as I would want an extra day's interest to be earned on the money and keep pushing back the date to spend.

I think your case is a bit more extreme than the other posts, especially being only 20. Probably a good idea to try and take control/get some help with your tendency to obsessiveness, before it gets even worse.
I have highlighted a few of the more worrying signs.
Going forward this issue will also probably cause problems in relationships and your ability to be a well rounded individual.
Also as @masonic said for many people the Uni years were the best years of their life, so try not to waste them.

london21

Bridlington1 said:

I would like to first of all take the opportunity to thank @Brricktop69 for creating this thread and also those who have posted here, it's been a very thought provoking thread and has made me look more closely at my own saving habits.

I also find it very difficult to spend, the most notable impact is the fact that my social life has ended up becoming somewhat limited, having never spent money on socialising full stop. I'm 20 and in my third and final year of university and despite having amassed quite a large amount of savings I am so far yet to set foot in a nightclub (or even go on a night out for that matter), have never spent money in a pub, on each occasion I have gone there with some friends I've taken sandwiches with me and I have never learnt to drive due to the cost associated with it. My definition of a day out typically involves cycling 20-30 miles each way to the coast with a picnic and not spending anything.

I think I've always been a natural saver though. For as long as I can remember whenever I've received money due to birthdays/Christmas etc as a child and been asked what I'm going to do with the money my response was usually "I'll put it in the bank", in part because the banks pay interest and from an early age I quite liked the idea of the banks paying me for doing nothing but also because I didn't know what I wanted to do with the money so decided I may as well save it instead until I did know what I wanted to do with it.

These days as soon as I get any money my first thought is usually to decide which savings account will I put the money into, the thought of spending it rarely crosses my mind. The only time I ever do spend money on myself is if I think it will save/generate me more money in the long run, e.g. I bought a smartphone for £29.99 last year because it enabled me to benefit from the Natwest/RBS reward accounts and a £150 RBS switching offer so has paid for itself many times over.

I tend to hoard some things too, possibly by extension of the above. Among other things I've got several hundred items of stationary that I've found over the years, most of which I'm probably not going to use, if a pen breaks I keep it to use as spare parts in case other pens break, I don't throw away used envelopes as I can cut them up and print written instructions to building societies on them or make rough notes on them, if an electrical appliance breaks I remove the screws from it in case they might come in useful later etc. 

At the moment I do get some enjoyment out of saving though, I enjoy moving my money around to get a better rate and find it quite satisfying to see my savings increase overall, though I suspect that is partly because I'm currently saving for something rather than just for its own sake. I'm hoping to buy my first home at some point next year, in part to cut down on future rent/mortgage costs, once I have bought somewhere outright I will most likely start saving any spare money I have aside in the hope of retiring early, my logic is mainly that it may enable me to buy myself free time to enjoy later as I could stop working earlier though I'm aware that there's a flaw in this logic in that whilst I fully intend to live for a very long time there's always a chance that I may not live that long for some unforeseen reason so may never feel the benefit. Whilst I've a vey good reason to save now, I can very much see myself in the position where in 30-40 years I will find myself retired but unable to bring myself to spend, in part because I don't really know how to enjoy spending, all I've done so far is save and I don't really know how to do anything else. I also hate the thought of wasting money and tend to regard spending money on myself as wasteful spending.

Some of my attitude to money could stem from very early childhood. I remember my father was absolutely terrible with money, having racked up very large debts to the point that he ended up declaring bankruptcy, my mother was always much better with money than my father was, having never got into debt herself that I'm aware of and having raised me and my younger brother on benefits for most of my childhood after they split when I was about 4 or 5. Whilst this experience may have made me more careful with money, I doubt it is the only reason why I'm reluctant to spend, not least because I saw my father very little after my parents split and haven't seen him for over a decade now and also the fact that my younger brother has also been brought up on benefits (though never knew my father), yet is the complete opposite of me in the sense that if he has money in his hand, he will spend it on impulse and seems to lack any sort of desire to save.

To this day I'm still quite fearful of ending up in the mess that my father was and probably still is in and worry that If I spend unnecessarily on one occasion then I would be inclined to spend again, and again and it could snowball from there and before I know it my life savings would be gone and the effort I'd put into saving all these years would therefore become a complete and utter waste of time. I can understand the argument that having money sat in a bank account for the rest of my life is probably also wasteful but at the same time I wouldn't want to end up running out of money later in life, particularly if any unexpected expenses come up.

Another thing I've found is that I procrastinate when it comes to spending money. When I was a child I used to say to those who tell me "you can't take it with you" that I would start enjoying my money once I'm at uni. When I started uni it became "I'll wait until after I've got my first home sorted", now that I'm close to buying my first home it has become "once I've retired".

In some ways I'm glad I have saved so much, it's certainly better to save too much than to spend too much as so many of my fellow students have done and may come to regret and it means I should have less difficulty getting on the housing ladder but at the same time I do think I could do with being a bit less fearful of spending as it can have a non-financial price associated with it too and in later years it probably won't do me much harm to spend some of my money out of choice rather than out of necessity from time to time.

Apologies for the lengthy post but I've rarely looked at my saving habits from this angle before, I've tended to see it as either I save hard or end up in debt in the future, the fact that saving too much could be an issue isn't something I've really considered before reading this thread. I suppose upon reflection I have become obsessed with saving and this will probably need to be modified slightly in future years so thanks again to the OP for starting this thread.

I think the idea of a savings pot specifically for spending could be worth a thought, though I would most likely want the money to be earning as much interest as possible before I spent it so it would soon end up mixed up with the rest of my savings and then lost within the depths of a spreadsheet. I'd likely also keep delaying when I would spend it as I would want an extra day's interest to be earned on the money and keep pushing back the date to spend.

You are still quite young and have the whole of your life ahead. I am just a few years older but the university experience is to be enjoyed. Start taking small steps to enjoy your money and the memories. 

For example whilst at uni of Southampton not a drinker but there was the opportunity to visit another city Canterbury to party still went for it. We are not perfect but once you have identified the issue can take steps towards correcting it. Go out with friends those are the experience you look back and cherish. 

Stubod

An intresting thread that I can relate to. Always saved, main reason for doing so was the constant worry of being unemployed, (which did happen but not until early 50's, and then managed to find alternative employment even though lower pay). 

Luckily we had enough saved to last a couple off low pay / no pay years prior to some pensions kicking in. However we now have more money than we are likely to need, and not really worried about the need to leave anything to anybody.

As above, we have a basic annual budgeting spreadsheet that identifies our income and outgoings, and anything we get that exceeds our budgeted income (eg any premium bond "wins), goes into a "free money" account that does not appear on our spreadsheets, ie it is money to spend on whatever takes our fancy without any feelings of "guilt"....each to their own, but it works for me!!....

VNX

masonic said:

Bridlington1 said:

I also find it very difficult to spend, the most notable impact is the fact that my social life has ended up becoming somewhat limited, having never spent money on socialising full stop. I'm 20 and in my third and final year of university and despite having amassed quite a large amount of savings I am so far yet to set foot in a nightclub (or even go on a night out for that matter), have never spent money in a pub, on each occasion I have gone there with some friends I've taken sandwiches with me and I have never learnt to drive due to the cost associated with it. My definition of a day out typically involves cycling 20-30 miles each way to the coast with a picnic and not spending anything.

I would encourage you to try to address that before it is too late. Some of my most treasured memories come from my social life in that era, and for most people it is a once in a lifetime opportunity to live that life. Trust me, there is plenty of time after the social life has fizzled out to save money and take up more frugal pastimes!

It’s not for me to give advice or get involved but I echo these comments. I know it’s much easier said than done but I didn’t have a social life as such when I was younger I’m. Now nearly 40 and barely socialise at all if ever and have a very small circle of friends and my social anxiety has just got worse as I have got older 

Bobziz

Fascinating thread, thank you. I can relate to much of it. My personal struggle relates to the time it often takes me to make purchases (not everyday consumables). I often spend far too long researching to find the best item and then another excessively long period of time trying to find that item at the best price.

noclaf

Stubod said:

An intresting thread that I can relate to. Always saved, main reason for doing so was the constant worry of being unemployed, (which did happen but not until early 50's, and then managed to find alternative employment even though lower pay). 

I can relate to this, my biggest fear of all and has increased since having a child. Early 40's now, job security worries are always there and knowing that eventually I will need to find something else whether it's due to jobs being outsourced, ageism or health issues etc The uncertainty of not knowing what I might be able to do instead is also a factor. The other aspect is trying to be 'tax efficient' using pensions but also striking.a balance with accessible investments and savings ..should the worse happen with my role.... unfortunately I am the 'thinking' type which isn't always a good thing!

Eco_Miser

Brricktop69 I understand your problem with the £15 jumper. When looking to buy something I often think it's too expensive. I have to tell myself I'm anchored on prices from when I was young, and there's been a lot of inflation since. I find it easier to buy during a sale, possibly paying more for a reduced price good quality item than a normal priced normal quality item.

I'm in the fortunate position of having no need to scrimp, I'm only spending about a third of my income, but I can't just spend wastefully, however with careful practice, I can now spend without thinking too much about the exorbitance of  modern living.

No, I don't think saving affected my mental health, except perhaps improving it since I don't have to worry about money. My mental health perhaps affected my saving habits though.

Bridlington1   You need to visit a nightclub, a pub etc. If you're anything like my younger self, you'll find they're too dark, too noisy and too crowded, but you'll know that from experience, not from frugality. And you'll be able to tell people who tell you to go to nightclubs "Been there, done that, didn't like it".

Don't get so fixated on saving that you don't spend on necessities, or even 'nice to haves'. While you could be dead tomorrow, you could also still be alive in a hundred years time (with all the right genes and a bit of luck), might as well be comfortable.

Don't hoard, you just end up with a home full of junk that 'might come in one day'. When that day comes, you won't be able to find the thing, and go out and buy a new one anyway.

I've never learned to drive, not because of the cost, though not driving has saved me a lot of money over the years, at the cost of convenience, but because I have absolutely no co-ordination, nor the necessary concentration.

[Deleted User]

This thread has been thought provoking.

I am in my 30s and have always been business savvy and good with my  finance.
I have no issue spending on food, clothes and shoes etc but my parents been savers and investors definitely robbed off on me. My parents aren't big spenders especially my mom.
I get monthly massage, manicure pedicure etc.
I set aside monthly amount to spend to get my hair done, nails etc but still money left over each month unspent. I am more of a saver and feel as though i have achieved my financial goals with properties, pension, savings and funds etc.


This thread has prompted me to reflect on my life and ease on the idea of spending for example in 2023 only went on 1 holiday around my birthday. Could do with 2-3 holidays for example.
Time to make changes and make enjoying life a priority. We only have one life. 

Albermarle

No, I don't think saving affected my mental health, except perhaps improving it since I don't have to worry about money. My mental health perhaps affected my saving habits though.

Maybe getting a bit too deep here, but having a strong saving habit does not mean you have a mental health problem, a term which is probably used a bit too often nowadays.

It is just part of your personality. It only becomes a mental health issue, if it makes you miserable, antisocial ,having strange behaviour and negatively affects many aspects of your life. 

Like with the OP, and a couple of the other posters, but not you I don't think ?