Has saving affected your mental health.

eastcorkram

The putting money each month into pot within an account, and calling it 'To be spent' or ' For me' or whatever, might possibly be a help to some people.

It wouldn't work for me. It would just keep mounting up, and I still wouldn't have a clue what to do with it.

Bridlington1

I would like to first of all take the opportunity to thank @Brricktop69 for creating this thread and also those who have posted here, it's been a very thought provoking thread and has made me look more closely at my own saving habits.

I also find it very difficult to spend, the most notable impact is the fact that my social life has ended up becoming somewhat limited, having never spent money on socialising full stop. I'm 20 and in my third and final year of university and despite having amassed quite a large amount of savings I am so far yet to set foot in a nightclub (or even go on a night out for that matter), have never spent money in a pub, on each occasion I have gone there with some friends I've taken sandwiches with me and I have never learnt to drive due to the cost associated with it. My definition of a day out typically involves cycling 20-30 miles each way to the coast with a picnic and not spending anything.

I think I've always been a natural saver though. For as long as I can remember whenever I've received money due to birthdays/Christmas etc as a child and been asked what I'm going to do with the money my response was usually "I'll put it in the bank", in part because the banks pay interest and from an early age I quite liked the idea of the banks paying me for doing nothing but also because I didn't know what I wanted to do with the money so decided I may as well save it instead until I did know what I wanted to do with it.

These days as soon as I get any money my first thought is usually to decide which savings account will I put the money into, the thought of spending it rarely crosses my mind. The only time I ever do spend money on myself is if I think it will save/generate me more money in the long run, e.g. I bought a smartphone for £29.99 last year because it enabled me to benefit from the Natwest/RBS reward accounts and a £150 RBS switching offer so has paid for itself many times over.

I tend to hoard some things too, possibly by extension of the above. Among other things I've got several hundred items of stationary that I've found over the years, most of which I'm probably not going to use, if a pen breaks I keep it to use as spare parts in case other pens break, I don't throw away used envelopes as I can cut them up and print written instructions to building societies on them or make rough notes on them, if an electrical appliance breaks I remove the screws from it in case they might come in useful later etc. 

At the moment I do get some enjoyment out of saving though, I enjoy moving my money around to get a better rate and find it quite satisfying to see my savings increase overall, though I suspect that is partly because I'm currently saving for something rather than just for its own sake. I'm hoping to buy my first home at some point next year, in part to cut down on future rent/mortgage costs, once I have bought somewhere outright I will most likely start saving any spare money I have aside in the hope of retiring early, my logic is mainly that it may enable me to buy myself free time to enjoy later as I could stop working earlier though I'm aware that there's a flaw in this logic in that whilst I fully intend to live for a very long time there's always a chance that I may not live that long for some unforeseen reason so may never feel the benefit. Whilst I've a vey good reason to save now, I can very much see myself in the position where in 30-40 years I will find myself retired but unable to bring myself to spend, in part because I don't really know how to enjoy spending, all I've done so far is save and I don't really know how to do anything else. I also hate the thought of wasting money and tend to regard spending money on myself as wasteful spending.

Some of my attitude to money could stem from very early childhood. I remember my father was absolutely terrible with money, having racked up very large debts to the point that he ended up declaring bankruptcy, my mother was always much better with money than my father was, having never got into debt herself that I'm aware of and having raised me and my younger brother on benefits for most of my childhood after they split when I was about 4 or 5. Whilst this experience may have made me more careful with money, I doubt it is the only reason why I'm reluctant to spend, not least because I saw my father very little after my parents split and haven't seen him for over a decade now and also the fact that my younger brother has also been brought up on benefits (though never knew my father), yet is the complete opposite of me in the sense that if he has money in his hand, he will spend it on impulse and seems to lack any sort of desire to save.

To this day I'm still quite fearful of ending up in the mess that my father was and probably still is in and worry that If I spend unnecessarily on one occasion then I would be inclined to spend again, and again and it could snowball from there and before I know it my life savings would be gone and the effort I'd put into saving all these years would therefore become a complete and utter waste of time. I can understand the argument that having money sat in a bank account for the rest of my life is probably also wasteful but at the same time I wouldn't want to end up running out of money later in life, particularly if any unexpected expenses come up.

Another thing I've found is that I procrastinate when it comes to spending money. When I was a child I used to say to those who tell me "you can't take it with you" that I would start enjoying my money once I'm at uni. When I started uni it became "I'll wait until after I've got my first home sorted", now that I'm close to buying my first home it has become "once I've retired".

In some ways I'm glad I have saved so much, it's certainly better to save too much than to spend too much as so many of my fellow students have done and may come to regret and it means I should have less difficulty getting on the housing ladder but at the same time I do think I could do with being a bit less fearful of spending as it can have a non-financial price associated with it too and in later years it probably won't do me much harm to spend some of my money out of choice rather than out of necessity from time to time.

Apologies for the lengthy post but I've rarely looked at my saving habits from this angle before, I've tended to see it as either I save hard or end up in debt in the future, the fact that saving too much could be an issue isn't something I've really considered before reading this thread. I suppose upon reflection I have become obsessed with saving and this will probably need to be modified slightly in future years so thanks again to the OP for starting this thread.

I think the idea of a savings pot specifically for spending could be worth a thought, though I would most likely want the money to be earning as much interest as possible before I spent it so it would soon end up mixed up with the rest of my savings and then lost within the depths of a spreadsheet. I'd likely also keep delaying when I would spend it as I would want an extra day's interest to be earned on the money and keep pushing back the date to spend.

Ocelot

I'm a bit like that, although I do spend money on myself if I really want something (as long as it comes out of the appropriate tranche, which is in a separate account, and not included in the totals of my spreadsheets).

I also transfer 250 (next year will be 300) per month by standing order into another account, which is also not included in the grand totals. This is for unexpected expenditure.

As these accounts are not in the totals, I don't feel so guilty spending money from them, and they are considered already spent.

Why not transfer a few grand into another account, consider it a one-off adjustment of your finances, and spend from this separate account (which you consider already spent)?

Julezy101

Bridlington1 said:

I would like to first of all take the opportunity to thank @Brricktop69 for creating this thread and also those who have posted here, it's been a very thought provoking thread and has made me look more closely at my own saving habits.

I also find it very difficult to spend, the most notable impact is the fact that my social life has ended up becoming somewhat limited, having never spent money on socialising full stop. I'm 20 and in my third and final year of university and despite having amassed quite a large amount of savings I am so far yet to set foot in a nightclub (or even go on a night out for that matter), have never spent money in a pub, on each occasion I have gone there with some friends I've taken sandwiches with me and I have never learnt to drive due to the cost associated with it. My definition of a day out typically involves cycling 20-30 miles each way to the coast with a picnic and not spending anything.

I think I've always been a natural saver though. For as long as I can remember whenever I've received money due to birthdays/Christmas etc as a child and been asked what I'm going to do with the money my response was usually "I'll put it in the bank", in part because the banks pay interest and from an early age I quite liked the idea of the banks paying me for doing nothing but also because I didn't know what I wanted to do with the money so decided I may as well save it instead until I did know what I wanted to do with it.

These days as soon as I get any money my first thought is usually to decide which savings account will I put the money into, the thought of spending it rarely crosses my mind. The only time I ever do spend money on myself is if I think it will save/generate me more money in the long run, e.g. I bought a smartphone for £29.99 last year because it enabled me to benefit from the Natwest/RBS reward accounts and a £150 RBS switching offer so has paid for itself many times over.

I tend to hoard some things too, possibly by extension of the above. Among other things I've got several hundred items of stationary that I've found over the years, most of which I'm probably not going to use, if a pen breaks I keep it to use as spare parts in case other pens break, I don't throw away used envelopes as I can cut them up and print written instructions to building societies on them or make rough notes on them, if an electrical appliance breaks I remove the screws from it in case they might come in useful later etc. 

At the moment I do get some enjoyment out of saving though, I enjoy moving my money around to get a better rate and find it quite satisfying to see my savings increase overall, though I suspect that is partly because I'm currently saving for something rather than just for its own sake. I'm hoping to buy my first home at some point next year, in part to cut down on future rent/mortgage costs, once I have bought somewhere outright I will most likely start saving any spare money I have aside in the hope of retiring early, my logic is mainly that it may enable me to buy myself free time to enjoy later as I could stop working earlier though I'm aware that there's a flaw in this logic in that whilst I fully intend to live for a very long time there's always a chance that I may not live that long for some unforeseen reason so may never feel the benefit. Whilst I've a vey good reason to save now, I can very much see myself in the position where in 30-40 years I will find myself retired but unable to bring myself to spend, in part because I don't really know how to enjoy spending, all I've done so far is save and I don't really know how to do anything else. I also hate the thought of wasting money and tend to regard spending money on myself as wasteful spending.

Some of my attitude to money could stem from very early childhood. I remember my father was absolutely terrible with money, having racked up very large debts to the point that he ended up declaring bankruptcy, my mother was always much better with money than my father was, having never got into debt herself that I'm aware of and having raised me and my younger brother on benefits for most of my childhood after they split when I was about 4 or 5. Whilst this experience may have made me more careful with money, I doubt it is the only reason why I'm reluctant to spend, not least because I saw my father very little after my parents split and haven't seen him for over a decade now and also the fact that my younger brother has also been brought up on benefits (though never knew my father), yet is the complete opposite of me in the sense that if he has money in his hand, he will spend it on impulse and seems to lack any sort of desire to save.

To this day I'm still quite fearful of ending up in the mess that my father was and probably still is in and worry that If I spend unnecessarily on one occasion then I would be inclined to spend again, and again and it could snowball from there and before I know it my life savings would be gone and the effort I'd put into saving all these years would therefore become a complete and utter waste of time. I can understand the argument that having money sat in a bank account for the rest of my life is probably also wasteful but at the same time I wouldn't want to end up running out of money later in life, particularly if any unexpected expenses come up.

Another thing I've found is that I procrastinate when it comes to spending money. When I was a child I used to say to those who tell me "you can't take it with you" that I would start enjoying my money once I'm at uni. When I started uni it became "I'll wait until after I've got my first home sorted", now that I'm close to buying my first home it has become "once I've retired".

In some ways I'm glad I have saved so much, it's certainly better to save too much than to spend too much as so many of my fellow students have done and may come to regret and it means I should have less difficulty getting on the housing ladder but at the same time I do think I could do with being a bit less fearful of spending as it can have a non-financial price associated with it too and in later years it probably won't do me much harm to spend some of my money out of choice rather than out of necessity from time to time.

Apologies for the lengthy post but I've rarely looked at my saving habits from this angle before, I've tended to see it as either I save hard or end up in debt in the future, the fact that saving too much could be an issue isn't something I've really considered before reading this thread. I suppose upon reflection I have become obsessed with saving and this will probably need to be modified slightly in future years so thanks again to the OP for starting this thread.

I think the idea of a savings pot specifically for spending could be worth a thought, though I would most likely want the money to be earning as much interest as possible before I spent it so it would soon end up mixed up with the rest of my savings and then lost within the depths of a spreadsheet. I'd likely also keep delaying when I would spend it as I would want an extra day's interest to be earned on the money and keep pushing back the date to spend.

I would suggest you seriously need to change your attitude to spending if you are only 20

Cus

If you are distressed from this, go seek professional help

MisterMotivated

A very interesting thread that makes for enjoyable reading.  I'm not entirely sure how I feel about my position on saving/spending.  I grew up in relative poverty (always fed and clothed, but no foreign holidays, no designer clothes, dad drove clapped out cars, etc), but am now doing reasonably well for myself.  Growing up in a low single-income household, my parents' motto was "we can't afford it".  This still seems to be very much my mother's mindset even when it's actually untrue, and she'll laugh off the ridiculous notion of me buying/investing in something, even if I could comfortably afford it.  Looking back, I do feel that I was instilled with a feeling of inferiority compared to others who could afford all the things we couldn't, as though having Sky TV or going to Spain for 2 weeks automatically made the family next door better than us.

Like many people growing up in this environment, I knew very little about money management.  Any little extra money my parents did ever have was spent on small "treats"; saving was never even a consideration.  My parents were not financially savvy, so never taught me anything about saving or money management in general, so a lot of my money was squandered in the early days of adulthood.  When I graduated university and got my first proper job, I still lived off my overdraft for well over a year, spending my money on god knows what.  Eventually though, I realised I had no clue where a large chunk of it was going so I started a budget spreadsheet, the evolution of which I still use to this day.  This was one of the best financial decisions I made but, although I enjoy managing multiple bank accounts/investments/credit cards/mortgages, etc, I wonder if I'll ever be able to move away from the need to record every minute detail of my income/expenditure.  

After about 4 years, I managed to save for a house deposit (thankfully house prices aren't insane where I am).  However, just over a year later, I was threatened with redundancy unless I relocated several hundred miles away.  I consider this another one of the pivotal financial moments in my life as I vowed to get myself into a position where I couldn't be held to ransom like this again.  If all goes to plan, 2024 will see me reach the point where I consider myself to be in that position.

In all honesty though, I don't know what the new year will bring.  The sale of a valuable asset should see me receive a nice boost to my savings that would allow me to consider a range of options to help secure my future.  I don't quite know how having those funds in the bank will change my outlook on spending.  I've thought several times about treating myself to something expensive, but I then feel like I would be spending the money on things I don't actually need (e.g. buying a nicer car, even though I'm perfectly happy with the 13 year old one I have).  I consider myself a petrolhead, but couldn't justify wasting a lot of money on a performance car when most of my journeys are in and around town.  I also can't help but think of the cost in lost interest of spending tens of thousands of pounds.  

When it comes to day-to-day spending, I'm very frugal.  I mostly buy own brand items, and tend not to buy new clothes unless they're needed to replace old, worn out items.  For more expensive items/one-off purchases, I don't hesitate or worry too much about the cost when buying something I actually need as I would rather get something suitable than just go for the cheapest option.  I must admit it's a nice feeling to be able to commit to such spending without worrying whether I can afford it.  However as several others have said, I find it very difficult to treat myself.  I have a minimalist mindset and don't like having things that don't serve a purpose.  For any non-essential items I do want, I try to wait until my birthday/Christmas so I can send a list of ideas to family, rather than them buying me something random that they think I might like.

I know several people have suggest using pots for discretionary spending, but I don't think this would suit me.  I tend to keep my money in the highest interest rate savings accounts I can and use my spreadsheet for budgeting, rather than physically separating the money based on its purpose.  Also, I tend to look at non-essential spending as contrary to my goal of financial independence.  Don't get me wrong, I do still enjoy life, but I mostly enjoy low-cost life

Again echoing others' comments, it's a better problem to have than worrying how I'm going to pay my bills, but that doesn't mean it's not stressful.  I'm conscious that I would be entitled to almost no help from the government if I lost my job, and the thought of burning through my savings and going back to being skint is unbearable.  Perhaps once I receive the expected boost next year, that worry will go away.  Or perhaps it will bring a new set of concerns.  I suppose only time will tell

jimexbox

Re pots. For myself it's purely a budgetary tool using the savings goal app. All pots and emergency fund are in the best instant access account, currently Santander. It's all in one lump sum earning the same interest. So when I move accounts, it's all very simple. Saving in separate online account pots is too much hassle. Monthly interest is dropped into the emergency pot.

noclaf

My situation is somewhat different.....I have more savings than normal at present albeit a significant proportion earmarked for house renovations but having it there is reassuring. 

Conversely obsessing over investments choices (Pension/ISA) I do find mentally draining though weirdly also enjoyable.....I research, select and 'think' I am done...then at some point the idea of tweaking comes up and takes a lot discipline to not mess about....only yesterday was thinking my overall asset allocation is too US-heavy and lacking small-caps.......MSE is to 'blame' of course. 

masonic

Bridlington1 said:

I also find it very difficult to spend, the most notable impact is the fact that my social life has ended up becoming somewhat limited, having never spent money on socialising full stop. I'm 20 and in my third and final year of university and despite having amassed quite a large amount of savings I am so far yet to set foot in a nightclub (or even go on a night out for that matter), have never spent money in a pub, on each occasion I have gone there with some friends I've taken sandwiches with me and I have never learnt to drive due to the cost associated with it. My definition of a day out typically involves cycling 20-30 miles each way to the coast with a picnic and not spending anything.

I would encourage you to try to address that before it is too late. Some of my most treasured memories come from my social life in that era, and for most people it is a once in a lifetime opportunity to live that life. Trust me, there is plenty of time after the social life has fizzled out to save money and take up more frugal pastimes!

subjecttocontract

Circumstances that we find ourselves in can colour our attitudes and actions. I spent a large part of my younger days and working life being fortunate to have expense accounts. This meant I was spending other people's money and most of my income was untouched, in that situation it is very difficult not to save/invest.