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Help, I think my mum is being scammed

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  • diystarter7
    diystarter7 Posts: 5,202 Forumite
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    edited 21 March 2023 at 10:40AM
    Hi OP

    Posters are just guessing atm. About the "power of attorney" comments I doubt that is in palce as you would have warned the bank about the possiblity of scam taking place.

    As I said, is there anyone else, family or friend you know of that she listens to, if so have a quiet word with them.

    Other than that, nothing more to add apart from the obvious, keep close eye on things and tell her about scam stories and contact the bank possibly they will make a note andn ask more questions

    Good luck
  • diystarter7
    diystarter7 Posts: 5,202 Forumite
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    edited 21 March 2023 at 10:43AM
    she is 72 but switched on, just gullible. she is no good with computers, online Banking etc. when i ask her she says to stop asking questions. i’m going to see her tomorrow night but didn’t know if i can contact her bank to make them aware. i’m just so worried 
    Hi OP

    Just read this before posting today.
    You can contact them and I recommed you do but IMO, there is not a lot they can do. However, they may put a note by it and ask her more questions etc, but not sure but certaily worth a shot.

    There is no easy solution.

    Good luck
  • diystarter7
    diystarter7 Posts: 5,202 Forumite
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    Pollycat said:
    elsien said:
    Savvy_Sue said:
    The most recent edition of Radio 4's Moneybox covered this exactly. Might she listen to a radio programme? 

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001k7mn

    In that case, the adult child was able to talk to the parent's bank, who initially refused to refund because - as stated - the money had gone abroad, but they did then pull back from that stance. 

    Do you have power of attorney for your Mum? if not, it might be worth talking about that with her, although she may resist it if she thinks you don't approve of what she is doing. 
    I heard that. The gentleman was incredibly lucky though because the bank had even called him in to speak to them as they were so concerned he was been defrauded, but he was insistent the money was sent. The money was only refunded because of his specific personal circumstances - the bank had done everything they could to try to protect him, within the remit.
    I heard it too and was really surprised the bank refunded. I wonder what would have happened if the son hadn't got the BBC involved.
    Here's the article:
    Fraud victim gets surprise £153,000 refund despite rules - BBC News

    Whenever I hear stories like this, I always think 'why didn't they realise?' but these scammers must be incredibly plausible.


    Hiya

    As I read the thread, I too was surprised and felt it was done to look good becuse of BBC's intervention

    The highlighted bit.  I used to think like that when I was a lot younger and lacked life knowledge but older and wiser, hopefully, lol, I never see it like that now for many, many years. This is because these scammers prey on the weaknesses of people. The people that are often on the ball but like most have a weankenss and one of them is 'falling in love' at an age the person/s may have felt they would never meet someone again that made them feel good. Then there is the carrot there as time goes on of meeting them with 'no strigns attached.' The scammers pull people in The scammers, like all scammers may have tried their trick with many people but it only takes one to fall for it in order to end up as a victim.

    Scammers are evil, nasty, low lives that play on ones weakness, and concerns and take it from there. They are often very charming until they don't get their own way. Please never forget, anyone and that is anyone can fall for various scams.


    This may help 

    https://crimestoppers-uk.org/keeping-safe/fraud/romance-fraud#:~:text=Are you a victim of,via actionfraud.police.uk.

    Thnaks


  • Malthusian
    Malthusian Posts: 11,055 Forumite
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    she is 72 but switched on, just gullible. she is no good with computers, online Banking etc. when i ask her she says to stop asking questions. i’m going to see her tomorrow night but didn’t know if i can contact her bank to make them aware. i’m just so worried 
    You can certainly make them aware, although they won't release any information to you and their ability to stop her giving her money away may be limited.
    I would send a letter to the bank by Recorded Delivery, with all the account details you have, informing them that you think your mother is the victim of a romance scammer, and asking them to put a note on their files and treat her in accordance with their Vulnerable Clients policy. It may not stop her losing money in the short term but it will strengthen her case if they don't do anything to stop her transferring out large sums of money.
    I would also try ringing them up and asking them to put a note on their system - but they won't be able to discuss any account details with you and it could be an uphill struggle to even get through to the right department, so having something in writing is essential.
    If she asks for any more help from you to move her money, say that you can't, because it's against the bank's terms & conditions to let someone else use her online banking details, and if she loses any money the bank could hold her responsible for negligence. (This is true.) If she wants your help she needs to complete a Lasting Power of Attorney so you can do it officially and legally. (She should be making one even if there was no potential scam in the picture. As should you.)
    As a general rule, if someone asks you to help them move some money but refuses to say what it's for, the answer is always "no". 
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,770 Forumite
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    Hi OP

    Posters are just guessing atm. About the "power of attorney" comments I doubt that is in palce as you would have warned the bank about the possiblity of scam taking place.


    I guess you can say this about virtually all threads.
    We only have one side of the story in threads and only what the OP wishes to tell us.

    I would try the bank to see if they can be particularly vigilant on her account(s).

    The fact that this man(?) has switched contact arrangements from email to Google chat is very worrying.

     
  • EssexHebridean
    EssexHebridean Posts: 24,424 Forumite
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    Hi OP - this is a horrible situation to be in - you must feel incredibly helpless.

    You mentioned that your sister had previously been asked to help her transferring money IIRC? Is it possible for both you and your sister to both be there at the same time, and maybe during casual conversation over a cup of tea and without previously touching on anything relating to the matter, to discuss "that radio thing the other week about the people being scammed" perhaps - it might enable you to go into the subject in some detail, one of you could perhaps even have a friend or work colleague that "this had happened to" as well to prolong the conversation... Do your own research on it first, get some figures and details in mind - and it might at least begin to get your Mum questioning things in her own mind.

    I'd agree with the "signed for" letter to the bank - although they won't discuss anything to do with your Mum with you of course, but with luck it might get put on file. Make sure to mention to them that she doesn't know you've written though otherwise it might result in a phone call to her which could make things incredibly fraught between you!

    Those saying that your Mum needs your support more than ever are right - so not upsetting her is paramount, not easy  in a situation where she may well be being groomed to be defensive towards her family! (Something else to mention in the "casual conversation"!) 
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  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,770 Forumite
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    Pollycat said:
    elsien said:
    Savvy_Sue said:
    The most recent edition of Radio 4's Moneybox covered this exactly. Might she listen to a radio programme? 

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001k7mn

    In that case, the adult child was able to talk to the parent's bank, who initially refused to refund because - as stated - the money had gone abroad, but they did then pull back from that stance. 

    Do you have power of attorney for your Mum? if not, it might be worth talking about that with her, although she may resist it if she thinks you don't approve of what she is doing. 
    I heard that. The gentleman was incredibly lucky though because the bank had even called him in to speak to them as they were so concerned he was been defrauded, but he was insistent the money was sent. The money was only refunded because of his specific personal circumstances - the bank had done everything they could to try to protect him, within the remit.
    I heard it too and was really surprised the bank refunded. I wonder what would have happened if the son hadn't got the BBC involved.
    Here's the article:
    Fraud victim gets surprise £153,000 refund despite rules - BBC News

    Whenever I hear stories like this, I always think 'why didn't they realise?' but these scammers must be incredibly plausible.


    Hiya

    As I read the thread, I too was surprised and felt it was done to look good becuse of BBC's intervention

    The highlighted bit.  I used to think like that when I was a lot younger and lacked life knowledge but older and wiser, hopefully, lol, I never see it like that now for many, many years. This is because these scammers prey on the weaknesses of people. The people that are often on the ball but like most have a weankenss and one of them is 'falling in love' at an age the person/s may have felt they would never meet someone again that made them feel good. Then there is the carrot there as time goes on of meeting them with 'no strigns attached.' The scammers pull people in The scammers, like all scammers may have tried their trick with many people but it only takes one to fall for it in order to end up as a victim.

    Scammers are evil, nasty, low lives that play on ones weakness, and concerns and take it from there. They are often very charming until they don't get their own way. Please never forget, anyone and that is anyone can fall for various scams.


    This may help 

    https://crimestoppers-uk.org/keeping-safe/fraud/romance-fraud#:~:text=Are you a victim of,via actionfraud.police.uk.

    Thnaks


    I'm older and wiser - probably older and maybe wiser than you - but I still wonder how these poor men and women get caught up in these scams.

    I guess it's because:
    Pollycat said:

    Whenever I hear stories like this, I always think 'why didn't they realise?' but these scammers must be incredibly plausible.



    otherwise people like the chap in the Moneybox article and the OP's Mum - plus the many others whose stories we read and hear in the media - would not get caught up in these scams.

    The crimestoppers link is a good one.
    But from what the OP says, it may be difficult to get her Mum to read it.
    I don't know if relatives could report to Crimestoppers as the text specifically refers to 'you' rather than 'you, family or friends'.
    It sounds like the OP's Mum is not accepting that she may be a victim of romance fraud.



  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,770 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    Thank you for all your comments. I am going to go and see her after work today with my sister to try and get to the bottom of it. I will post later once I have been to see her. Thank you for all the links as well 
    Good luck, I hope you get her to see sense.


  • diystarter7
    diystarter7 Posts: 5,202 Forumite
    1,000 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Pollycat said:
    Pollycat said:
    elsien said:
    Savvy_Sue said:
    The most recent edition of Radio 4's Moneybox covered this exactly. Might she listen to a radio programme? 

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001k7mn

    In that case, the adult child was able to talk to the parent's bank, who initially refused to refund because - as stated - the money had gone abroad, but they did then pull back from that stance. 

    Do you have power of attorney for your Mum? if not, it might be worth talking about that with her, although she may resist it if she thinks you don't approve of what she is doing. 
    I heard that. The gentleman was incredibly lucky though because the bank had even called him in to speak to them as they were so concerned he was been defrauded, but he was insistent the money was sent. The money was only refunded because of his specific personal circumstances - the bank had done everything they could to try to protect him, within the remit.
    I heard it too and was really surprised the bank refunded. I wonder what would have happened if the son hadn't got the BBC involved.
    Here's the article:
    Fraud victim gets surprise £153,000 refund despite rules - BBC News

    Whenever I hear stories like this, I always think 'why didn't they realise?' but these scammers must be incredibly plausible.


    Hiya

    As I read the thread, I too was surprised and felt it was done to look good becuse of BBC's intervention

    The highlighted bit.  I used to think like that when I was a lot younger and lacked life knowledge but older and wiser, hopefully, lol, I never see it like that now for many, many years. This is because these scammers prey on the weaknesses of people. The people that are often on the ball but like most have a weankenss and one of them is 'falling in love' at an age the person/s may have felt they would never meet someone again that made them feel good. Then there is the carrot there as time goes on of meeting them with 'no strigns attached.' The scammers pull people in The scammers, like all scammers may have tried their trick with many people but it only takes one to fall for it in order to end up as a victim.

    Scammers are evil, nasty, low lives that play on ones weakness, and concerns and take it from there. They are often very charming until they don't get their own way. Please never forget, anyone and that is anyone can fall for various scams.


    This may help 

    https://crimestoppers-uk.org/keeping-safe/fraud/romance-fraud#:~:text=Are you a victim of,via actionfraud.police.uk.

    Thnaks


    I'm older and wiser - probably older and maybe wiser than you - but I still wonder how these poor men and women get caught up in these scams.

    I guess it's because:
    Pollycat said:

    Whenever I hear stories like this, I always think 'why didn't they realise?' but these scammers must be incredibly plausible.



    otherwise people like the chap in the Moneybox article and the OP's Mum - plus the many others whose stories we read and hear in the media - would not get caught up in these scams.

    The crimestoppers link is a good one.
    But from what the OP says, it may be difficult to get her Mum to read it.
    I don't know if relatives could report to Crimestoppers as the text specifically refers to 'you' rather than 'you, family or friends'.
    It sounds like the OP's Mum is not accepting that she may be a victim of romance fraud.



    Hi

    Yes you may be "older" thanks as I do recall you mentioning your age somewhere and you must have seen me do the same :)

    If you do still "wonder" please look at the many investigative tv progs by the BBC etc. It is as I said , please see my previous comments. 

    From what I have read and seen there is not left to wonder as the scamers play out their trick as per my previous posts.

    They do say, "love is in the eye of the beholders" and these evil people play on that where a person feels, comes across as lonely and they prey on that

    OP's mum like anyone in this situation either keep it a seceret until its too late or don't listen as they feel the others are telling them what to do but they know best

    Thanks

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